Not sure I am right for nursing.

MWmomRN · Apr 9, 2016

Wow. I feel like your post couldn't have come at a better time for me. Responding bc I am in a VERY similar situation. I am about to come off orientation and I am seriously about to throw in the towel. And in an attempt to find some answers, I just happened to log on to all nurses and search "new grad" and came across your post.

I too graduated in May 2014, finished BSN in Dec 2015 and just started my first job. I am about to be off of a month long orientation and questioning why I ever did this. I work in a hospital. My preceptor says I am ready but I don't believe her. She says that when I'm on my own I should ask for help when I need it, but it doesn't help that the unit culture does not support that. I say that because I often hear nurses complaining about other nurses on the unit. My main concern is that there are SO many skills and scenarios that just haven't been covered thoroughly in nursing school or in my orientation, which has felt very chaotic and unstructured. I don't always understand when I should call the doctor, I don't understand what protocols I am allowed to order in Epic that are within my scope as a nurse. I witnessed a few emergent situations during my orientation and I don't know how I will ever manage and think fast enough during those. I'm having trouble thinking on my feet about the pathophys in my specialty. And it doesnt help that I feel I'm in a very power-hungry type of nursing culture.

I had a long talk with my partner tonight because this is taking a huge toll on my mental health which is affecting our family. I just don't think the bedside is right for me.

I don't know what to do. I am terrified.

kaeRNBSN · Apr 9, 2016

Sorry to hear about you guys' dilemmas right now, but I'm here to offer some encouragement. I began my nursing career on a very busy med/telemetry floor and trust me, it was NOT my first choice. I felt like I didn't learn all I needed to in school. I felt like I'd never get it. I felt defeated in orientation. I cried almost everyday, not to mention I had a 4 month old at home!! I figured out what my downfall was: self doubt. I had to reassure myself that I could do it. I'd made it through nursing school, and these other nurses may be experienced now but they once had to be in my shoes, too. I stuck with it, and this past January I made 4 years on this same floor that petrified me at the start and I've gotten so good at it, I'm even charge nurse and I've precepted nurses myself! I believe you guys have they initial shock of actually being a nurse rather than a nursing student. And I know that feeling all too well. If you don't feel comfortable about something, please talk to your preceptor and be upfront with them and if need be, talk to your manager too. If they didn't see something special in you, you wouldn't have been hired! :) best of luck...you can do it!!!

oldRN85 · Apr 9, 2016

Can I encourage you not to give up? What you are experiencing is "sticker shock", aka reality shock. Nursing school absolutely does not prepare you to practice nursing. And a 1-month orientation for a new grad is abysmal. Start by going to your clinical educator. Or your manager. Talk about your struggles and need for more orientation. My first nursing job was a high acuity tele unit at a big hospital and I felt overwhelmed because all of us were new grads. I was put in charge just 6 months out of school. I would also encourage you to journal your challenges and successes the first year. It helps to put things in perspective. I am currently putting together a new grad orientation program so we can hire our first new grads into ICU. Your perspectives are enlightening and will help future nurses through this transition.

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Apr 9, 2016

It feels terrifying for everyone at first. Hang in there and give yourself a chance.

itunsco · Apr 10, 2016

Honey, pls keep your head high...... you know what you are doing and if you get all flustered on the job ask for help, find one cool headed staff amongst the crew and just ask for help. Try not to ask about same thing over and over again. Thats when the gossip start, when they try to put you down just smile and say Igot this and I will get this as times go on. Thats what I will do. Dont sit and gossip at the nurses station, get your task done, so when you give report u are not leaving stuff..... wiat till you have your foot in before leaving minor stuff for other collegues to do. Hope this helps in the long run. but hang in there for at least a year for the sake of your resume.

squirrel12 · Apr 10, 2016

Wow. I feel like your post couldn't have come at a better time for me. Responding bc I am in a VERY similar situation. I am about to come off orientation and I am seriously about to throw in the towel. And in an attempt to find some answers, I just happened to log on to all nurses and search "new grad" and came across your post.
I too graduated in May 2014, finished BSN in Dec 2015 and just started my first job. I am about to be off of a month long orientation and questioning why I ever did this. I work in a hospital. My preceptor says I am ready but I don't believe her. She says that when I'm on my own I should ask for help when I need it, but it doesn't help that the unit culture does not support that. I say that because I often hear nurses complaining about other nurses on the unit. My main concern is that there are SO many skills and scenarios that just haven't been covered thoroughly in nursing school or in my orientation, which has felt very chaotic and unstructured. I don't always understand when I should call the doctor, I don't understand what protocols I am allowed to order in Epic that are within my scope as a nurse. I witnessed a few emergent situations during my orientation and I don't know how I will ever manage and think fast enough during those. I'm having trouble thinking on my feet about the pathophys in my specialty. And it doesnt help that I feel I'm in a very power-hungry type of nursing culture.
I had a long talk with my partner tonight because this is taking a huge toll on my mental health which is affecting our family. I just don't think the bedside is right for me.
I don't know what to do. I am terrified.

MW,

Gah, my first reply seems to have disappeared.

Sorry to hear about your mental health (I totally get it) issues and family dynamic, it is very stressful to try and balance a new career that you worked so hard to achieve in such a stressful environment. Your health and family are more important than a job if it comes to it.

I am currently dreading going back tomorrow and have been looking online for help in giving report, organizing, IV starts, etc. Trying to find anyway I can gain some self-confidence and have a better shift each time I work. I keep in touch with my nurse manager and will probably need to ask for more orientation, but maybe I will hit my goal of 4 pts this week.

I struggle with time mgt of doing accuchecks, g-tube meds, IV meds, charting, and checking labs etc in the am, gosh forbid my pt has a change in condition or a doctor calls me during that time. I know my preceptor says she has my back, but like I said sometimes I get mixed signals.

I still am not sure about bedside nursing as I chose to work at this difficult place because I was desperate for someone to give me a chance. Now it is my turn to find my path, and it is hard for everyone if you believe the other commenters ( I do). In nursing school you hear it is hard, but man this is the biggest challenge if my life and that is scary, but if we can find a way to make it to the 3 month, 6 month, and 1 year mark then we might just make it anywhere.

Good luck and remember how many opportunities comes with a degree and license in nursing.

I hope you have a better week!

Squirrel

Maevish, ASN, RN · Apr 11, 2016

I am a new grad (May 2014) who finished her BSN online in Dec 2015, and landed her first job at a LTAC. I am finished with 3rd week of my 5 week orientation as a new grad and I am struggling with the workload and with confidence as I am almost 2 years out from school and nursing skills. I have had 1 main preceptor who I really think is questioning if I can this, while being really nice, and another who is more structured in her teaching but also realistic and encouraging (Can we say opposites?). I have yet to do total care for 4 pts completely and in the end will be responsible for 8 with a LPN for non IV meds and accuchecks, etc. But I am hating it, dreading each day, and end up questioning my decision to become a nurse.
This is mostly a venting post since I know I need a job and do not want to waste the years I spent getting a license.Today I had sort of an epiphany that maybe floor nursing is not what I am suited for, but only having a few weeks experience I know it will be difficult to move on to any other job. I know I want to help people, but the work load on this floor is tough and my preceptor already informed that all the others (RNs, LPNs, Tele Techs, CNAs, and Unit Secs) are already watching me to see how I am handling everything. Needless to say being judged does not help anything. I just show up each day and hope I make it through without injuring a pt or making some huge mistake.
Thank you for listening as this is a rambling rant made after a long week.
Squirrel

I think that you haven't had enough time to know if you can or can't do it. That's just me, but it takes some people (including myself) longer to feel comfortable with what I was doing. Then it happened all over again when I moved to the ICU, and, to a smaller degree, on each assignment at a new hospital as a traveler. It's your first job and you're going to have these feelings more likely than not because you're human.

If you still feel the same way after a year at the same job, then maybe you're onto something, but give yourself a chance. It's a tougher job than most people give it credit for unless you've been there. I didn't know it was as hard as it is, even physically, before I started! Cheer up and just know that the day will come when you're comfortable and doing things on your own. Not to say you won't have shifts where you wanna quit or cry when you get in your car, but on the whole things will get better.

xo

squirrel12 · Apr 13, 2016

Pretty sure I am going to quit. I just cannot keep up with the pace and will never be able to be the leader over 8 patients. I hate the idea of quitting because it will be even harder to find another job, but I have only felt decent one day. Every day I am scared, ashamed, anxious, and filled with self-doubt. I wasn't cut out for bedside nursing, and maybe not nursing at all. Time to think about other options. At this point I barely feel qualified to be a dog walker. Just needed to talk about this. Thank you all.

Squirrel

Sadala, ADN, RN · Apr 14, 2016

I'm a little over a year in, routinely have six patients, and still have serious problems with time management and organization in terms of getting everything done. On the other hand, I have no (mmm-k, very little) shame. I will ask other nurses questions every day and twice on Sundays.

Also, I talk to other nurses a lot, and not just on my own unit. I've found that a large percentage of nurses have issues with performance anxiety. A lot of nurses seem to cry both before and after shifts and a lot of nurses tell me about anxiety attacks at different times. Not sure whats up with that. Just thought I'd mention it. You're not alone, I guess is what I'm trying to tell you.

Alex_RN, BSN · Apr 16, 2016

I am in an LTAC, also, and I know the work load is HARD. That is why the staffing turns over so quickly and we are always short-staffed. I am still working on my time management and routinely have 9 patients. I used to feel bad about struggling to keep up but now I notice that the veteran nurses sometimes fall behind, also.

My orientation was well-intentioned but disorganized. The first 3 months were the worst! I kept thinking that I was not cutting it. All I did was work and sleep and feel like a loser. It was months before I just accepted that my shift would be chaotic. I am doing OK now.

I am in a part of the country flooded with new grads and LTAC was the only job I could get. I have seen how good nurses in my unit usually transition to a regular short stay acute hospital at around 1 year of experience. Think of it as boot camp and put in your 10-14 months and then move on with your skills and experience. Recruiters know how hard you are working and you will be able to interview confidently and answer questions better now that you have actual work experience.

The job is tough right now but you are a working RN, better things are in your future!

DFutureNP25 · Apr 16, 2016

Just remember why you originally decided to become a nurse. Focus on that. Also remember that there are many specialties in nursing.