I am a new grad (May 2014) who finished her BSN online in Dec 2015, and landed her first job at a LTAC. I am finished with 3rd week of my 5 week orientation as a new grad and I am struggling with the workload and with confidence as I am almost 2 years out from school and nursing skills. I have had 1 main preceptor who I really think is questioning if I can this, while being really nice, and another who is more structured in her teaching but also realistic and encouraging (Can we say opposites?). I have yet to do total care for 4 pts completely and in the end will be responsible for 8 with a LPN for non IV meds and accuchecks, etc. But I am hating it, dreading each day, and end up questioning my decision to become a nurse.
This is mostly a venting post since I know I need a job and do not want to waste the years I spent getting a license.Today I had sort of an epiphany that maybe floor nursing is not what I am suited for, but only having a few weeks experience I know it will be difficult to move on to any other job. I know I want to help people, but the work load on this floor is tough and my preceptor already informed that all the others (RNs, LPNs, Tele Techs, CNAs, and Unit Secs) are already watching me to see how I am handling everything. Needless to say being judged does not help anything. I just show up each day and hope I make it through without injuring a pt or making some huge mistake.
Thank you for listening as this is a rambling rant made after a long week.
Pretty sure I am going to quit. I just cannot keep up with the pace and will never be able to be the leader over 8 patients. I hate the idea of quitting because it will be even harder to find another job, but I have only felt decent one day. Every day I am scared, ashamed, anxious, and filled with self-doubt. I wasn't cut out for bedside nursing, and maybe not nursing at all. Time to think about other options. At this point I barely feel qualified to be a dog walker. Just needed to talk about this. Thank you all.
Squirrel
Hey Squirrel, I don't care how far out you are from nursing school - nursing on the floor is a HUGE shock to the system. It seems the vast majority of nursing schools don't prepare you at ALL for nursing in the real world.
First thing... stop beating yourself up. Seriously. You made it through nursing school and a BSN program. You are smart! I started on an insane med/surg floor and it put me through the same thing you're going through - every day I felt all the same emotions (scared, anxious, self-doubt). Sometimes I'd go 10 hours without eating because it was that chaotic and while mostly everyone was very nice and willing to help, no one had the time. It sent my anxiety through the roof.
I lasted 6 months. There comes a point where you have to decide your health is more important... why was I killing myself for everyone else's health while I couldn't eat or pee or breathe? Hospital nursing is not for everyone... however, I also think it really depends on the floor you get hired on. New grads need extra help. Doesn't sound like yours or mine is/was big on that. 5 weeks orientation is laughable - no one is ready in that amount of time. Anyway, I tried to hang in as long as I could. All I wanted was more "tolerable" days than "I feel like dying every second" days... that never happened.
Remember how big of a field this is. There are options outside of bedside nursing. Ultimately it's up to you and your circumstances. Start looking for other jobs asap. Psych, LTC, home health, whatever. I'm doing the same. In the mean time, hang in there and don't give up unless you're really sure. It has only been a few weeks. I'm rooting for you.
Hi everyone goodnight am still I student in nursing I got a test coming up and am trying to find out what is kinetic slip can anyone help me out please by telling me what that is
I couldn't relate more to you. This is my predicament currently.
I graduated last year in May. It took me months to get a job. I wasn't really sure why being that the majority of people I graduated with got jobs within a month of graduating (and in their desired field or where they precepted for their senior practicum). I went on 3 interviews near where I lived (I wanted to stay close to home). I had commuted 40 minutes one way for school for 3 years and wasn't about to commute for work. Unfortunately I didn't get any of these 3 jobs. I finally started applying far from home close to where I went to school. I was desperate for a job after looking for almost 4 months. I interviewed on a surgical unit and got the job. I always hated med-surg nursing in school and promised myself I wouldn't get my first job in this field. I lasted about 3 months there. The unit had an insane workload and a 45 minute drive from home to boot. I was depressed, scared, dreaded going to work and made myself sick to my stomach. I searched for jobs near home and tried to "stick it out" until finding a new one. I had to resign because it had taken a serious toll on my mental health and was starting to mess with my physical health. I was so stressed out that I had a resting heart rate of 115. I got my thyroid checked. The fast HR was from STRESS. That was the last straw. I went on a few more interviews after quitting and got hired at this hospital a few miles from my house. I had had several clinicals there in nursing school and always liked it. I currently work there on a medical unit. Again, an area of nursing I hate. The unit is crazy but not as bad as the last one. I'm about done with orientation and start on my own on Monday. I will tell you, I really don't like it. I've been there 2 months and am already thinking of where else I can work. I guess that's what you get when you work in an area of nursing that you despise. I like postpartum nursing a lot. I like working with kids and infants. I also love women's health. My dream job would be working in a nursery taking care of newborns or in an ob/gyn clinic. I haven't been able to find that job that "suits" me yet and I graduated almost a year ago. I don't want to leave this current job already, but I also care about my happiness. Life is too short to settle for less than what you deserve. I believe all nurses deserve to be happy and to thrive in the field they love. Afterall, we bust our butts making others happy. Do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do. I have had many days where I've questioned choosing nursing as my occupation. I also don't like bedside nursing much either. I think outpatient would suit me better.
If you don't like your job right now, just remember, you are in control of your life. There are so many areas of nursing you can be in. Try to find what you love. There are little reminders here and there that will pop up and make you think "oh yeah, that's why I chose to be a nurse."
Give yourself time and tell your preceptor and NM that you need more orientation; it is VERY different being a floor nurse than a student; there is so much more that had to be done as when you were a student. Focus on what you need to do for your patients and let your coworkers and manager know you want to learn so if they have a procedure to be done that you haven't seen or done to please let you watch or do it yourself with supervision. In that way you'll learn more, they will know you're willing so both win. Is there any way you can get a copy of protocols to take home and study on your own? Maybe that would help with knowing when and what you're allowed to do on your own. Charge nurse (don't know if changed) should be able to help if a situation comes up and you're not sure if what you need to do is allowed under their rules (not that y you want her to do it-just that you aren't sure of the rules governing whether you do it)
Have You tried a Pediatric internship at a teaching hospital? There are so many specialties that you can explore before bagging this carrier. And you probably wont find your nitch in the 1 st few years of practice. It takes at least a year to find a comfort zone in caring for patients. Med/surg is a good start and there usually is a good support system in teaching hospitals. With very good teaching programs. After a year you can transfer into another specialty with that experience under your belt. Its a good career and you can find a job anywhere in the world.
Pretty sure I am going to quit. I just cannot keep up with the pace and will never be able to be the leader over 8 patients. I hate the idea of quitting because it will be even harder to find another job, but I have only felt decent one day. Every day I am scared, ashamed, anxious, and filled with self-doubt. I wasn't cut out for bedside nursing, and maybe not nursing at all. Time to think about other options. At this point I barely feel qualified to be a dog walker. Just needed to talk about this. Thank you all.
Squirrel
There's no shame in feeling that you are not cut out for bedside nursing. It's not for everyone. Even though I did it, it's not my favorite area either. I'm not ashamed to say it, and I don't feel guilty about it. The sad part about it for me is that it wasn't the direct care that turned me off from bedside nursing. It was my experiences with my co-workers and management that made me not enjoy it the way I wished I could. You are the only one who really knows whether or not you are ready to take on more patients or not. Don't be forced or bullied into doing things you feel you are not ready for, or that are unsafe for both you and/or your patient(s).
I will say that in your first year it is normal to feel everything you are feeling. Starting as a new nurse is scary. I felt all the things you did when I first began as a new nurse. Listen to your intuition. There are other areas of nursing that may be more suitable for your interests. It may be that nursing isn't for you. Only you will know the difference. If you can't get a longer orientation, or the support that you need, then maybe your employer is not right for you. Good employers are difficult to find for nurses at every experience level. Wishing you the best!!
kp038
21 Posts
Hey Squirrel, I don't care how far out you are from nursing school - nursing on the floor is a HUGE shock to the system. It seems the vast majority of nursing schools don't prepare you at ALL for nursing in the real world.
First thing... stop beating yourself up. Seriously. You made it through nursing school and a BSN program. You are smart! I started on an insane med/surg floor and it put me through the same thing you're going through - every day I felt all the same emotions (scared, anxious, self-doubt). Sometimes I'd go 10 hours without eating because it was that chaotic and while mostly everyone was very nice and willing to help, no one had the time. It sent my anxiety through the roof.
I lasted 6 months. There comes a point where you have to decide your health is more important... why was I killing myself for everyone else's health while I couldn't eat or pee or breathe? Hospital nursing is not for everyone... however, I also think it really depends on the floor you get hired on. New grads need extra help. Doesn't sound like yours or mine is/was big on that. 5 weeks orientation is laughable - no one is ready in that amount of time. Anyway, I tried to hang in as long as I could. All I wanted was more "tolerable" days than "I feel like dying every second" days... that never happened.
Remember how big of a field this is. There are options outside of bedside nursing. Ultimately it's up to you and your circumstances. Start looking for other jobs asap. Psych, LTC, home health, whatever. I'm doing the same. In the mean time, hang in there and don't give up unless you're really sure. It has only been a few weeks. I'm rooting for you.