I work with two CNAs that don't drive. One (Amy) simply doesn't have a license due to a mental/physical disability since birth. The other (Kim) has a license and a car, but the car is broken down and she can't afford the repairs. Both expect a ride home from coworkers every day.
Amy often goes to a friend's house instead of to her home. Her friend's house is literally two blocks from the facility where we work. She has never even asked me for a ride, she simply waits by my car and gets in when I unlock the doors. Kim lives about three miles away and used to ask for a ride, but now she simply tells me she will be waiting for me. They do the same thing to other coworkers who drive.
It isn't a big deal because it only takes about ten or fifteen minutes to get them both home. I don't think that any of us spend much extra money on gas. I think there is just some frustration with being expected to deliver them to wherever they need to go. Neither has ever offered to pitch in for gas.
Kim is a single mom who leaves her children with her mother while she works. A few days ago, Kim's mother called her while we were on our way to her house. She was concerned because Kim wasn't home yet. I only heard one side of the conversation, but Kim made the comment to her mother, "The nurse who is taking me home didn't manage to get out on time. She really needs to be more considerate of the fact that I have obligations at home." It was a long and lousy night. I was tempted to pull over and tell her to get out (not that I ever would, but it certainly annoyed me).
All of us who take them home have similar issues. We are just seeking some advice on how we can reduce our frustration about this. One of the CNAs that gives them rides has said she is going to start charging them fifty cents every time she gives them a ride.
Also one day when someone was dropping Amy off, her car died in the parking lot of Amy's apartment complex. She ended up having to call her husband to get it moved and eventually restarted. Amy told her that her car is a piece of junk and that she got in trouble with her landlord for having a friend's car in the lot overnight. She said that from now on Amy and Kim can just walk.
After months of giving a CNA a ride to work if she called me and from work in the morning, she called me at 1840 to say "I need you to come get me." But I was already at work and told her so.
She was mad at me and told the House Supervisor that I made her late. ???? Uh no. Maybe you need to make some other arrangements to get to work is what I told her and never again will I get involved in being the free taxi service for an irresponsible person.
If my 16 year old can give a ride mooching friend the boot so can you. This girl expected my daughter to take her to the college with her for classes, never asked. My daughter was nice about it until she was sick one day and the girl was up in arms about her ride. My daughter told her pound salt and never looked back .
Not my circus, not my monkeys. And I would purposely be late again to see if anything was said, and then you'd really have a reason to say no more.
You've mentioned OP that there are no taxis. That's not your problem either. They can walk or find someone else. I would have no problem telling them exactly that.
Or perhaps the sister can get out of the bed, pick up both her sister and the 3 mile away person, and call it a day.
Honestly, now you are taking home other people's adult children?
You could do a "I don't mind at ALL bringing you home, but first we need to meet my aunt for coffee, I need to go to the store and grab a few things, then when the post office opens to go there. Gas is so expensive that I need to do this before I head home. So you are welcome to come along for the ride, but it will be at least an hour before I will be going in your direction...."
The entire scenario reads like a passive aggressive cluster #@%L&.
Can I like this enough?????
OP what an amazing retirement job...start a taxi company!! Or better yet, make your car into a taxi, tell them you HAVE to charge, as it is against town bylaw to give free rides, and then you have a nice cash business as a second job when you feel like it!!
Based on your descriptions of the behaviors of these individuals, if you choose to stop providing rides for them, these are the likely outcomes.
1. They will find another way to get to work, but they will blame you and your colleagues for your "mistreatment" of them and will do everything they can to make your interactions with them at work as hostile as possible as payback.
or
2. They will not find another way to get to work and will lose their jobs. They will blame you and your colleagues for this and see themselves as helpless victims but since they are no longer working with you, you will not have to put up with "attitude."
Only you can decide what is most tolerable to you. Every person on this board has a different comfort level for what they are willing to put up with. For some it is easier to put up with bad behavior from others than put up with the level of conflict that may result from setting limits. Other people are much less bothered by push-back from people, will tell those people politely but firmly what they will accept, and then go about their business with never a worry that others are angry with them.
If I have problems in life, even major problems such as poverty or disability, it is not the responsibility of the rest of the world to solve those problems for me. It's nice when people do come to my aid, but that is their choice--it is not their responsibility to take care of me once I become an adult.
I could see being nice on the weekends especially Saturday and Sunday morning. But during the weekdays, I feel for you and your co-workers. This is tough situation since you want to be nice and have good relations. Good Luck
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I could see being nice on the weekends especially Saturday and Sunday morning. But during the weekdays, I feel for you and your co-workers. This is tough situation since you want to be nice and have good relations. Good Luck
I fail to see why the weekends should be any different.
I just want to get home to see my husband, my shower and my bed. I don't want to be driving around playing taxi. Once in a great while when it's storming out, but otherwise bicycles work really well.
Another nice little bit of passive aggression might be to head in the opposite direction from home to run a few of your own errands before heading back past their houses. Maybe a looooong set of errands, or one far away. Join a yoga class and go there instead of going straight home two days a week. Go to the library and pick up a few books. Maybe that nursery across town has the pansies in for spring planting-- go wander around the greenhouse. Nice little bit of decompression after work, eh?
Seriously? I'm with, "Just say no." No "I'm sorry," no nothing. Just. No.
sistrmoon, BSN, RN
842 Posts
I just heard an ad on the radio for Wheels for Work in my area. Sounds like Kim would qualify. Based on income, having kids under 18, etc.