I am wishing that (seeing as we are all educated professionals and adults) more people would approach the individual they have an issue with, rather than running to the manager for every little indiscretion they find. IMHO, the manager should not be bothered with petty BS. Unless someone dies, is injured, is given a wrong med, or a nurse is diverting drugs, the manager shouldn't be bothered. Speak with the individual, or go to the charge nurse. We are all grown ups and we ALL make mistakes--even you tattle tails out there!
Maybe its because nursing is predominantly a female profession, because I NEVER encountered this problem in the military. Tattle tailing was seriously frowned upon by everyone, including high leadership (I believe you might get your ass kicked for tattling in some military circles). It deteriorates team cohesion and morale. It also shows your superiors that you are too incompetent to handle your team's problems internally.
One could even go as far as saying that tattling creates a hostile work environment....
Thank you thank you thank you. This post is exactly what I wanted to read. It says all that I couldn't find the words to say. Work is stressful enough without worrying about pettiness, backstabbing, and not being adult enough to talk to the person you are having problems with face to face.
This is what I don't get.
If someone has an issue with someone, I believe the best thing to do is pull that person to the side and voice your concerns. But does this happen? NO! Instead, the passive aggressive games start and the person who has an issue starts to tell EVERYONE else what the problem is instead of being direct with the person they have an issue with.
Then when it gets back to the person what has been said about them and the person is confronted, then that's when they want to run to management crying and acting like the VICTIM when all that mess could have been squashed from the get go.
I used to be in management in my pervious career and it was a known fact you don't bring pettiness to management without trying to work it out with your peer first. And on top of it, BOTH parties were called to a meeting, which sometimes included the union, and all parties got to the bottom of it. Then a resolution was reached.
And another thing I don't get with these nurse managers is why they do not call BOTH parties in at the SAME time to get to the bottom of the issue? Instead, they perpertrate the passive aggressive behavior by calling the accused party in and letting them know that "someone" has an issue with them, but don't want to tell them any more than that. How is that resolving anything? It's only causing a more toxic work environment.
I've already decided if I ever become a nurse manager, I'm nipping alot of that mess in the bud. The first thing I will ask is "did you address such and such with this issue?" And if the answer is no, then I will ask why and then I will let them know you really need to speak with your co-worker first and try to resolve this. If not, I will call both of you in here for a meeting and you can say what you need to say to your co-worker in their presence and try to work it out that way. And this meeting should not go pass this room.
But, I can see someone crying to the CNO or the CEO of the hospital after that.
I have found that the vast majority of tattle tales are extremely insecure people with a need-to-please. They want the pat on the head from Management and to be told what a great employee they are.
The problem is (aside from being really annoying), the tattler better be a PERFECT person because once they are running are reporting trivial issues about everyone else, people will begin to be watch their every move like a hawk....and they will find issues-lots of them.
To add , Nursing is a 2nd career for me. To be honest, I never experienced the nit-picking and childish attitudes as I have experienced in Nursing. Sad.
Sorry!..but I am going to HAVE to agree that this happens more in "female-based" professions. It just does. I have worked with men before, they are not perfect, but they seem more direct.
It's also sad to say, but a LOT of women go WAY overboard because they feel they have something to prove, as we are the "weaker" gender, per se.
I think Nursing would have some drama regardless if it was a female-based profession or not, as it is simply a very stressful job...but unfortunately, the fact that it is saturated with females just doubles the drama. Call me a female-basher if ya want! Been there done that lol.
Sorry!..but I am going to HAVE to agree that this happens more in "female-based" professions. It just does. I have worked with men before, they are not perfect, but they seem more direct.
It's also sad to say, but a LOT of women go WAY overboard because they feel they have something to prove, as we are the "weaker" gender, per se.
I think Nursing would have some drama regardless if it was a female-based profession, as it is simply a very stressful job...but unfortunately, the fact that it is saturated with females just doubles the drama. Call me a female-basher if ya want! Been there done that lol.
I completely agree that if you have a personal issue with someone the first thing to do is try and sort it out by confronting them about it before dobbing them in. It's the professional thing to do.
If it's a HUGE issue that can't be resolved then management need to get involved in it.
At my work the latest thing is 'disrespectful behaviours' form. I am soooo against this. It really isn't encouraging people to resolve conflict in a constructive way. Already people are being reported for the most stupid issues and quite frankly I think it's the worst thing they could have come up with.
I'm only in nursing school, but trust me - the backstabbing and brown-nosing happening here are enough to make me wonder how I'm going to deal with it all in the "real world".
In a perfect world, you'd have a Manager that would stop the tattle-tail "mid-tattle" and ask if they've addressed their concerns with the person involved... and if not, send them packing.
With what I've had to deal with so far, it hasn't been fun. But I'm making it a point to not even listen to other women "vent" about the ones that have ****** them off because somehow I end up implicated. Maybe not all nurses are women, but far too many women are malicious, insecure gossips. IMO. :)
The last place I worked, the worst gossip was a male nurse. He would be sweet as pie to you then stab you in the back. He didn't tattle tho, far as I know. Our manager loved tattlers..they were like her own little spies. Man I'm glad to be out of there.
(*teasing*)
sassyrn333
54 Posts
questionsforall...I hear ya!