Nobody Likes A Tattle Tail

[sassyrn333]

I am wishing that (seeing as we are all educated professionals and adults) more people would approach the individual they have an issue with, rather than running to the manager for every little indiscretion they find. IMHO, the manager should not be bothered with petty BS. Unless someone dies, is injured, is given a wrong med, or a nurse is diverting drugs, the manager shouldn't be bothered. Speak with the individual, or go to the charge nurse. We are all grown ups and we ALL make mistakes--even you tattle tails out there!

Maybe its because nursing is predominantly a female profession, because I NEVER encountered this problem in the military. Tattle tailing was seriously frowned upon by everyone, including high leadership (I believe you might get your ass kicked for tattling in some military circles). It deteriorates team cohesion and morale. It also shows your superiors that you are too incompetent to handle your team's problems internally.

One could even go as far as saying that tattling creates a hostile work environment....

[shoegalRN, RN]

This is what I don't get.

If someone has an issue with someone, I believe the best thing to do is pull that person to the side and voice your concerns. But does this happen? NO! Instead, the passive aggressive games start and the person who has an issue starts to tell EVERYONE else what the problem is instead of being direct with the person they have an issue with.

Then when it gets back to the person what has been said about them and the person is confronted, then that's when they want to run to management crying and acting like the VICTIM when all that mess could have been squashed from the get go.

I used to be in management in my pervious career and it was a known fact you don't bring pettiness to management without trying to work it out with your peer first. And on top of it, BOTH parties were called to a meeting, which sometimes included the union, and all parties got to the bottom of it. Then a resolution was reached.

And another thing I don't get with these nurse managers is why they do not call BOTH parties in at the SAME time to get to the bottom of the issue? Instead, they perpertrate the passive aggressive behavior by calling the accused party in and letting them know that "someone" has an issue with them, but don't want to tell them any more than that. How is that resolving anything? It's only causing a more toxic work environment.

I've already decided if I ever become a nurse manager, I'm nipping alot of that mess in the bud. The first thing I will ask is "did you address such and such with this issue?" And if the answer is no, then I will ask why and then I will let them know you really need to speak with your co-worker first and try to resolve this. If not, I will call both of you in here for a meeting and you can say what you need to say to your co-worker in their presence and try to work it out that way. And this meeting should not go pass this room.

But, I can see someone crying to the CNO or the CEO of the hospital after that.

[cookderosa]

i agree with you that tattling is a bad thing, and in the absence of extenuating circumstances, one ought to deal with the problem on one's own, rather than running to the manager. i disagree with your assumption that this problem exists because nursing is predominantly a female profession. and i'm tired of the female bashing posts we get on here attributing everything that anyone thinks is wrong with nursing on the idea that it's because it's a predominantly female profession.

>>

in my experience there is absolutely without a doubt a different corporate culture/atmosphere in women only or men only environments. i've even spent time studying this in grad school, so studies do show measurable differences. that's not to say either is a "problem" per say, but to ignore the differences can bring friction into the workplace.

women are more relational - for good or bad- they just are. do i communicate differently with women and men? of course. knowing how to do so is a little bit of an art and a science and keeps things rolling smoothly.

i'd guess that the poster and the tattle tail already had friction, because again, it's all about the (lack of) relationship. this is evidenced even here in this thread by so many suggestions to "talk it over" with the nurse who reported her. *relationship vs task oriented.

[NurseNinaFla]

Sounds like there might be some personality clashing going on,

Wars between the shifts is never fun or a good thing and "tattling" just makes it worse. Perhaps a meeting between the shifts or persons involved is in order and try to get it resolved before it gets out of hand..its an ongoing battle.

[TakeTwoAspirin, MSN, RN, APRN]

I just had a dose of this myself. In fact it could have been me who posted. I was so angry I could actually see white spots. Like you, I couldn't comprehend why my manager/supervisor had even considered it worth her time and mine to bother with the trivia that was at hand. I have nothing constructive to add to the debate, I just throw my hands up in the air with frustration at how much time some people appear to have on their hands to take up such petty grievances!

[Music in My Heart]

...seeing as we are all educated professionals and adults...

Being in a profession does not make one a professional.

Neither does age always correlate with maturity.

And education? I believe that our education is sorely lacking in the areas of interpersonal communication, decision making, and conflict resolution.

[SmilesNoir]

OP thank you for starting this thread.. *smh* I'm starting to get some clarity on things..

[marineswife0809]

i went through this ALOT WORKING IN LTC. the cnas are the worse!! im a cna and most of the cnas were old enough to be my mom or grandmother,telling everything! it amazed me how immature people are:lol2:

[tencat]

Here's some good advice I gave my 7 year old yesterday:

If it's hurting someone, or someone is getting hurt, go tell the teacher.

If it's not hurting anyone, then don't run to teacher to tell.

Tattletales often do so in a work environment because it takes the heat off of them and redirects the focus of management away from them. I work with one of those now. Thankfully, our manager redirects her, and doesn't call the rest of us on the carpet. And it has backfired on her because we've gotten so fed up with it and her lack of doing her job that we've complained about it (yes, first to her) to management. If she'd done her job and not spent her time looking for things to tattle about, we all might have been more understanding.....

[leslie :-D]

Here's some good advice I gave my 7 year old yesterday:

If it's hurting someone, or someone is getting hurt, go tell the teacher.

If it's not hurting anyone, then don't run to teacher to tell.

that was good advice, tencat.

i recall one time i witnessed a cna repositioning a pt VERY roughly...

to extent, where pt cried out in pain and fear.

i pulled the cna out and told her if i EVER saw such aggressive behavior, i wouldn't hesitate to report her and get her fired.

i took care of it, and didn't see the need to report it.

however, i think it important for students and newbies to know they can go to mgmt if unable to tend to the situation themselves.

that there are situations where reporting to a higher-up is indeed, warranted and necessary.

i'd hate to think that a new nurse feels s/he has no one to turn to, in times of dangerous/concerning situations.

leslie

[Midwest4me]

that goes to show you, no good deed goes unpunished!

while this saying may be true at times, i hate hearing it and certainly won't say it; one of our managers actually uses it! good deeds should always be rewarded.

as far as the title of the post goes: true, no one likes a tattle tail, but there are times when it's necessary to be one like in hippa violation situations. interestingly enough, no discipline ever resulted....person confessed to the violation, apologized, and sent on his merry way. i, on the other hand, suffered retaliation for months from coworkers for turning in that person. numerous friends/family in this field have warned me: don't report abuse, don't report hippa violations, keep your mouth shut. reporting any violations of any kind usually bites you in the a$$ets, ruins work relationships, destroys credibility despite the "rightness" of such reporting. i can't wait to retire from this back-stabbing career.

[StNeotser, ASN, RN]

I get tired of people saying it's because it's a female environment. It's because these people are listened to.

Nursing gets reported by the dietary manager all the time because he is a little man who's finally got some power.

We also get reported by a PT who thinks we know 30 mins to an hour before he shows up at different times every day to premedicate his patients for pain. He was listened to for a long time before a NM told him to shut up and tell the nurse prior to his arrival if he wanted the patients premedicated.

We also have a lot of male doctors who think it's fine to complain about utter nonsense. It's because nursing is a female profession that both genders think they can get away with knocking.

[Spirit2L1]

Well I can tell you stories about some pretty vicious personalities out there in nursing...unfortunately! There are those who feel they are "super" nurses, born with the ol white cap on their heads as they popped out of the womb! They are hell bent on destroying the confidence of others! Most of the stuff is very minor and "piddly" to put it into words, but, it really can undermine a fragile person such as a new nurse.

Personally, I have ALWAYS tried to defend and protect new nurses from this attitude, especially when they are coming to the rescue of us "old" nurses when help is needed in the ICU. They need guidance and direction...not condemnation for not knowing something that is not life and death!! I have spent many years contemplating how to effect change in this area amongst my peers, but, to no avail. Unfortunately I have had many "words" with nurses who do this to many newbies and sometimes it is not nice, but at least the young nurse feels there is some backup there. Many of them have run crying out of the critical care arena because of such behavior!! It is my hope that one day someone addresses this behavior and holds experienced nurses accountable for their behavior because none of us are perfect! I personally have followed many a "perfect nurse" and let them know when they have made the simplest of errors so that they may be humbled!