Published Aug 15, 2003
Have any of you lost connection with any of your friends?
When I started Level 1 Nursing classes I didn't have much time for my family much less friends. I fear that through the course of my education I will lose a close friend. Honestly, my husband and I both have lost a close couple/set of friends.
Here I sit typing away waiting for classes to start on August 25th. Considering finances and daily chores, I am bound to this house while my husband works 16 or 18 hours per day. Right now, I couldn't afford to go out to lunch with a friend even if invited.
I guess I feel pretty lucky... I still manage to have a social life.... I study, but I do make time for myself and friends... and I really think it is important to do so... I usually try to keep a day for me and my friends/family to get together and do something, even if it just go out and eat...
I know what you mean about not affording to go out when invited. A lot of people don't call me anymore because I always say I can't go because I'm broke. I get invited to places that I would need around $50-100 to go and have a babysitter; I don't have either. I still keep in touch with a few people here in there but that's about it. This didn't just start with school, it started when I started my family about 3 years ago since I don't go out and party anymore. Oh well, school and my family is more important to me anyways....
Many years ago when I was a RT student and a single MOM I never had time or extra money either, but on Friday's after clinical whoever was in that town ( went to 4 hospitals in 2 towns) and we always went to a bar that also served food and had 2 for 1 drink specials and apetizers and everyone threw in whatever they had and we talked about experiances that week and unwound, at least one hour and once we started this it helped big time. Even the married students did this we called it our BULL and LEARN STUDY session. Try something like this. Students that you go to schoo with have the most in common with you right know and most of them are in the same boat. If you don't do bars go to the local pizza hut or Mickey D's just get away from school or the hospital. I think we all leaned so much more that way because it was so much more exoeriance plus a different prospective of the same incident from differnt people
Well Good Luck and you have to make sometime for yourself to get thru this or you will burn out
Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN
I'm single with no kids, i've been in this area for 2 1/2 years and still don't really know anyone.
Makes it hard when you can't even get out to meet people because you'r so busy.
Then there's the dating issue. I'm not asking for committment or the white-picket fence, but dang it would be nice just to GO OUT with someone to a movie or something.
Going to a bar by myself is embarrassing. For one, the married men old enough to be my DAD are the ones that think it's ok to think you're miserable, and sit right by you without even asking first (don't worry, i correct that misconception REALLY quick ). Was told that the majority of younger guys will see a woman sitting in a bar by herself and assume she wants to be alone, or that they'll get shot down big time.
I know i don't need to be in a relationship to survive. But it would be so nice to go out on a DATE, just because my schedule will bbe hectic doesn't mean that i don't want to have fun.
Friends should understand. Just make sure that you make a phone call to them once a week to let them know you are alive.
The important thing is your husband! Many people in nursing school, even my director has warned us that school, will sometimes put a major strain on relationships. Your husband sounds like he is supporting your decision. THATS GREAT, just make sure you make time for him
Hope you don't think I am preaching - just some advice given too me, thought I'd pass it on.
nurse2be in ny
I find I have to really work at friendships-I know, it makes it sound like so much fun to think of it as "work". But they take maintainence, just as family relationships do. JustJenn's advice about calling people once a week is good, or e-mail them, or anything just to keep the connection going. It gets harder as we get older and everybody's so busy.
Friends? Oh you mean books! lol Not only have I lost connection with my friends. I've lost connection with my self. it's so sad that when I have a break between semesters, I have forgotten what I did with my free time before I started college, so now I usually end up reading something out of a text book that I missed during the semester.
Sad isn't it?
Thank you for sharing! BTW, my husband read your posts. Some really good advice.
The last time "I" called one particular friend, we didn't visit on the phone long. And, I didn't receive a call back. It's been two weeks since I spoke with her (in person) prior to that it was five weeks. I don't mean to sound like I'm co-dependant but, at one time we were inseperateable. Her husband and mine were best friends as well. I guess I was mistaken by thinking that we would be there for each other through thick and thin. I have done so much for her and her children. I've thrown her daughters Baby shower for 100s of people and split the costs of many vacations so that her adult children could come. I think I'll just let the chips fall were they may because I do have a wonderful family and other friends that have been very supportive.
Thanks for offering yourself and your experiences
francine79...:roll It's sad but true!!:roll
If my friends were hamsters.... they'd be dead.
thank goodness they love me!
Sounds tough...I am an introvert, workaholic, & prone to depression. I am a triple-threat friend killer. I'm lucky that I have any friends at all.
Here is what works for me. When I am feeling up, I use that time to mend fences with my neglected friends. It is easy to socialize & not spend money. Visiting people in their own homes is a great way to keep friendships alive. Friends appreciate that you care enough to lug yourself to their home. Also, a $1.25 cup of coffee & good talk is great too. Having a daily walk & talk is free & good for you.
I use school, housework, commitments to my hubby as an excuse to hide. Honestly, at best I put in 3-4 hours of school/housework in a day. The rest of the time I'm watching tv, raiding the fridge, moping, napping &... checking out allnurses.com
If you can't see your friends b/c you are broke (can't afford gas) & overworked, they will wait until you have money or they'll have to lug themselves to your place for a cup of coffee. Invite them over. Your real friends will visit.
Good luck... friendship is so precious.
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