Night shift then caring for twins all day?

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Does anyone work full time nights then have to come home to care for young children or even elderly? I have twin two year olds and I need to work because I have debt to pay off; however, having a sitter come in the am is taking most of my paycheck. I do not have anyone who can watch them for free like family. My husband works Mon through Sat, 0500-1830.

The only way I know how to work the hours I need to get bills paid is to stay up with the twins all day and ditch the sitter. How do you do it??

I worked with a nurse years ago who worked nights and would fall asleep in her car for hours after she drove home. I know the 12 hour shifts are preferred by many nurses but they make it really hard for those of us who have young children and no free help. I am definitely looking for a more family friendly way o pay back the loans.

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you would be amzazed at how many people forget that we are NOT robots

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I did apply to several daycares with that exact idea in mind....Their response is "your a nurse and you want to work here" The two places I was actually able to speak with looked at my resume and sent me on my way, too much nursing experience. I also applied to a 9-5 IV team position and guess what "not enough experience"

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Specializes in OB/GYN, Peds, School Nurse, DD.

OP, you've gotten some excellent advice and I hope you are taking it to heart. The short answer is you can't stay up all night and stay up all day. Your job requires you to be completely devoted and on task at all times. You make life & death decisions every day. You cannot afford to make mistakes because you are drained and exhausted--try telling that to a jury of your peers. Your children and husband will receive little benefit from you. You simply cannot stay up 24 hours a day will little naps off & on.

My advice would be work part-time and take longer paying off the debts. I did this for years. I have 3 kids, one of whom is severely mentally handicapped. Daycare just wasn't an option. I would have had to pay for the privilege of working and that's just crazy. So I worked a lot of weekends, usually with Sundays off so I could get at least 4 hrs rest while DH watched the kids. I worked a lot of odd shifts, usually 4pm-2pm, but also a lot of little short shifts like 7pm-12mn.

Now let me tell you the toll it takes on your marriage. Finding time for my spouse was very, very difficult. Finding time to do quality activities with my kids was very hard, as well. Living with chronic sleep deprivation led to two sleep disorders, reflux, depression and significant weight gain. I'm talking over 40-lbs. My feet are so disabled that I can't be on my feet for 8hrs without terrible pain. I have chronic post-tibial tendonitis and will some time in the near future need my whole foot reconstructed (ow!) I have fallen asleep at the wheel many times.It's a real wonder that I haven't killed someone.

Just. Say. NO. The risk is not worth the benefit.

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The only thing I can add to the above are this...

You aren't the only parent in this equation. What is your husband willing to sacrifice for the safety of his children?

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I want to print this and send it to Sallie Mae............maybe then they might grant me a forbearance until my children get older! LOL, PS do not borrow education money from them..it is so not worth it!

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Specializes in Hospice.

Work part time when your husband will be home to let you sleep. i have school age kids and in the summer i hire high school kids for 8 to 9 bucks and hour for about 5 hours a a day. yes it cuts into my check but that five hours of sleep gave me enough rest to last until my dh got home and then sleep a little more. Now i do occasionally sleep on the couch while my children play without a babysitter but i have found even though they are pretty darn good i just don't get quality sleep. Good luck but i don't think your plan right now is realistic.

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Have you thought about working 3pm-11pm then you would only need a sitter for a few hours, your husband could help out and you could get your sleep. Or work double shifts on his day off. The situation you are in must leave you feeling extremely exhausted.

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Seriously, why are you doing all the sacrifice and hardship? Can't your husband find another job that is not 6 days per week, or does he expect you to do it all with the risk of harming yourself, patients and/or your kids?

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Specializes in ICU, ER, EP,.

This is the "in this economy...." lecture. Not everyone understands that you and your husband have many options. I've been there, done that and raised three kids through working night shift.

Now the unhealthy and unpopular solution for you that worked with me. Working nights I had to work Sun, Tues and friday. I did this to meet a weekend requirement and have a day off in between. Meaning up all day sunday being mom and wife, work all night and up for all of Monday until husband got home. We had dinner together, off to sleep for me... hubby put kids to bed and I caught up on sleep to wake up early tuesday.

Housework all tuesday day, than work tuesday night all night awake, stay up wednesday until hubby got home... do it again. Thursday night... both hubby and I are exhausted and we choose to spend the money to have date night or stay home and rest.

It sounds like hell, but we didn't have the money for a sitter and it's what we had to do for many years until preschool started. That thursday night, our one night a week, we had just enough $ to go out and pay a sitter, or rest, we generally chose date night since we'd already spent so much time with so little sleep we had adjusted and needed that time for our marriage.

Again this year, my daughter now 19 had a car accident and couldn't be left home alone and needed care for several months... had to do that again, and we just slid right back in that pace.

It doesn't last forever, just until they are in preschool and you can get 4 solid hours of sleep. You and hubby have to decide that a clean house will never be the priority for several years, and you have to have alone time to keep your marriage a priority. To do this you either go part time and eliminate loans like new cars or down grade the house or an apt. or give up sleep.

Seriously write down the time you have available and the money that you spend for things... a sitter to work full time may not be worth it if you can flex your schedule.

We also did play dates where since I was up anyway, I took in two neighbors kids one day a week to free them both of child care costs. They in turn took my kids and I had a full day to sleep.

These are tough choices, only you and hubby knows what works, but wanted to give you some alternatives and the point of view that you have to recognize the limit of your choices, how much they cost you so you can choose wisely.

Wish you the best, and more importantly... wish you some good rest and a solid nights sleep... this does pass. I promise:redbeathe

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Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.
OP, you've gotten some excellent advice and I hope you are taking it to heart. The short answer is you can't stay up all night and stay up all day. Your job requires you to be completely devoted and on task at all times. You make life & death decisions every day. You cannot afford to make mistakes because you are drained and exhausted--try telling that to a jury of your peers. Your children and husband will receive little benefit from you. You simply cannot stay up 24 hours a day will little naps off & on.

My advice would be work part-time and take longer paying off the debts. I did this for years. I have 3 kids, one of whom is severely mentally handicapped. Daycare just wasn't an option. I would have had to pay for the privilege of working and that's just crazy. So I worked a lot of weekends, usually with Sundays off so I could get at least 4 hrs rest while DH watched the kids. I worked a lot of odd shifts, usually 4pm-2pm, but also a lot of little short shifts like 7pm-12mn.

Now let me tell you the toll it takes on your marriage. Finding time for my spouse was very, very difficult. Finding time to do quality activities with my kids was very hard, as well. Living with chronic sleep deprivation led to two sleep disorders, reflux, depression and significant weight gain. I'm talking over 40-lbs. My feet are so disabled that I can't be on my feet for 8hrs without terrible pain. I have chronic post-tibial tendonitis and will some time in the near future need my whole foot reconstructed (ow!) I have fallen asleep at the wheel many times.It's a real wonder that I haven't killed someone.

Just. Say. NO. The risk is not worth the benefit.

This is the best advice I've ever seen on this forum.

If you don't take it...well....

Forrest gump, "stupid is as stupid does..." said it better than me.

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Dude, there is no way...you would never sleep! And the cat napping you would get with two 2 year olds would be minimal.

I have a 6 and 7 year old (both in school), get home at 8am, and have to get up at 2:30pm in order to pick them up on time. It kicks my butt, and my butt is further kicked during school holidays when they're home with me because I'm too cheap to pay a bunch of teenagers $80 to watch them in the school's out program. Not to be all Debbie Downer on you, but there is no way you could pull that off successfully that I can see.

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