Night shift then caring for twins all day?

TooterIA · Dec 5, 2010

In my opinion, 2 years old would be a very hard age to do that. When my daughter was 3 months until 18 months, I did that: worked all night, came home and cared for her, napped when she napped, then got real sleep when my husband got home. The difference was, she took predictable naps, 2 a day, at least an hour each. If your twins dont take decent naps, I dont think you can safely do it.

When my daughter got to be 18 months, I started leaving her at the sitters from when I got off at 0730 until noon. That way I got a little sleep, yet it still saved on the daycare bill.

Make sure if you choose to stay up with them, you feel safe. It took one time of me waking up on the couch and realizing my 18 month old had gone all the way down the stairs to the kitchen, got her sippy cup, and came back upstairs without me knowing to realize I was unsafe.

BluegrassRN · Dec 5, 2010

So, basically you aren't going to sleep? How do you THINK that will work out for you?

If you need to work, work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights. If you can, pay a babysitter for Monday morning, so that you can nap for 3-4 hours. That is the only possible way you could safely make working nights with little or no sitting work. I worked that exact schedule for 3 years, until my kids were both in school. It sucked to work every weekend, but it was more important to my husband and me to have a parent with them instead of a babysitter. On Monday morning, the girls went to a friend's house for a 4 hour play date while I slept. Those girls came over another morning during the week, so that their mom could have a few hours to herself. A babysitting exchange is a great way to get a couple of hours of sleep without having to pay anyone, or feeling like someone else is raising your child.

ETA: I misread your original post, and see that your husband works Saturdays as well. You're going to have to pay for a sitter at least part time. If you worked Friday through Sunday, and paid for a sitter for Saturday, it would be cheaper than paying for a full time sitter. You have to remember, though, you are a moral obligation to be a responsible parent, and you can't if you are so sleep deprived that you can't drive safely or monitor them safely. You also have a professional obligation to be safe at work. You can't go days without sleep. It would be the same as showing up to work (or parenting) totally wasted.

hope3456, ASN, RN · Dec 5, 2010

Been there done that and it's grueling.....about killed my marriage and the reason i made the move back to where my parents are located. I was fortunate to get a 2-10 position at a LTC and my hubby works 8-5 so i just need a sitter for 4 hours in the afternoon and i recently went to part time doing that. i have a 4yr old and a 9month old. I know there is no easy answers, daycare takes a big chunk of our earnings and it is hard to find when you dont have a consistent schedule. i just hope you don't get sleep deprived.

Otessa, BSN, RN · Dec 5, 2010

Does anyone work full time nights then have to come home to care for young children or even elderly? I have twin two year olds and I need to work because I have debt to pay off; however, having a sitter come in the am is taking most of my paycheck. I do not have anyone who can watch them for free like family. My husband works Mon through Sat, 0500-1830.
The only way I know how to work the hours I need to get bills paid is to stay up with the twins all day and ditch the sitter. How do you do it??

Your husband works 6 days per week-yikes! Long hours for him-you are basically a single parent 6 days per week. You need, need, need your sleep to take care of twins( I have twins too) as well as be alert and safe to get to work as well as care for patients when there.

You need to be healthy for your kids and you-lack of sleep will cause trouble. Paying for a sitter just means that it will take longer for you to pay off your debt.

Prettybrowngirl · Dec 5, 2010

I feel your pain! I have a 3 year old and am expecting a second baby in a couple months. You really will have to evaluate your personal situation and decide what's best and safest for your children. For us, we were able to make preparation prior to the birth of our first child, so that I could reduce my schedule to part-time. We don't have family available and childcare is very expensive so we make sacrifices to live on less.

What I find that really works for us now is having my husband wake our kid up early on the mornings that I'm coming off a shift. She's pretty consistent with needing a nap Q4-5h after waking so by the time I shower, eat, and "wind down" from my night she's close to or ready for a nap and we sleep for several hours. Being pregnant I'm finding it harder to stay awake at times but it helps because her sleep schedule is regular. I'm anxious as to how its all going to work out with #2, but we are already considering our options, and I'm willing to switch to weekends if necessary.

Again, this is what works for us, and you know your personal situation better than anyone. The way I see it is you will lose money either way: paying for babysitter/daycare or cutting down the number of days you work to make it more manageable. The main concern is for the safety of your children...it only takes a split second for something tragic to happen and no job or amount of money is ever worth that! Wishing you well in whatever you decide.

GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN · Dec 5, 2010

Work just part time on his off hours/days. That is what we do. Daycare is too expensive for more than one kid- it eats up your entire pay check. I had 2 jobs- one that was two evenings a week from 7pm-11pm, and the other on weekends from 3-11:30pm. It kind of kills family life, but I ended up making more money this way instead of paying it all to a daycare and not seeing my kids enough. Or do just 2 12 hour shifts a week- one on Saturday night and one during the week- that way you aren't chronically sleep deprived and unsafe around your kids and unsafe to work. You will end up taking home the same amount of money anyway.

PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN · Dec 5, 2010

That is nuts.

You don't.

Something will give and you will hurt someone...whether it is the patient or your kids.

Get real.

Schmoo1022 · Dec 5, 2010

I ried something similiar and it really took it's toll. And I got about 4 hours sleep during the day. I was sick all the time and not a nice person to be around. It isn't safe for you, your children or your patients. Is there a way you could do a baylor or 3-11pm shifts ? A baby sitter for a few hours until your husband gets home would be more reasonable. I feel your pain.

kesr · Dec 5, 2010

A classmate of mine tried to do this, and fell asleep on the couch while the toddler was watching cartoons. Toodler decided to climb over the babygate on the stairs, fell and hit his head, died in her arms.

Obviously this sort of scenario is the worst case, and could have happened even if she had been awake; but she will never forgive herself. Marriage fell apart, and she quit nursing. I lost touch years ago, but still often think of her.

Belle Epoque · Dec 5, 2010

That is insanity. You are a human being, not a robot.

You're seriously going to have to get your priorities straight. If you're not going to rely on a sitter, either you or your husband (or both of you) are going to have to give. No way any family can function that way.

You might have to cut back on some expenses so that you only work p/t to save on babysitting fees. Remember that in a few years the twins will be in school and this may afford you some flexibility but in the meantime compromising your health and the health of your patients is not an option. You WILL burn out, or make a tragic mistake at work, but I can assure you nothing good will come of this.

HisTreasure, BSN, RN · Dec 6, 2010

I had young children when I worked nights. I lived on 4 hours of sleep per day in the morning before my husband went to work and 2-3 hours when he got home before I went to work. I was very sick, very tired, and honestly fell asleep at work sometimes. Not good. I'm not going to put you down for trying to find a way to make it work; that's just human and we all know that as women we try to do it all! Have you considered applying to work at a daycare center where you would work day hours and can take the twins with you? My sister had her first baby last year and started working at a daycare. She takes the baby to work with her and only pays like 25% of regular tuition, plus she gets to visit the baby throughout the day.

Also, have you looked into child care assistance through the county or child care scholarships? Up until very recently our county offered child care assistance to middle class working families. The income limit was VERY generous and most people who applied got some help. Unfortunately, the program lost the funding but hopefully it will be back next year.

I second the child care exchange with another mom from work or church perhaps... it's a good solution and really fun for the kids.

Good luck!