Protocol

  1. I figured y'all were the right folks to ask this question regarding, for lack of a better word, protocol.

    The backstory and conundrum:
    My wife gave birth via C-Section to a beautiful, but very small 26 weeker, who in the very short time she was with us (8 days), touched many lives. The question is whether or not it is appropriate for us to send a card or thank-you note to the nurses who were her primaries (one day and one night). They were such wonderful and supportive people that we wanted to let them know that they touched our lives and that we appreciated all that they did for us and our little angel. I believe that in a way it would be a part of the healing process to do so (at least for my wife an I), but I don't want to re-intrude on their lives or dredge up hurtful memories. Any opinions?

    Thanks in advance for your help,
    Tom
  2. Visit Spatialized profile page

    About Spatialized

    Joined: Jun '05; Posts: 306; Likes: 195
    RN & CRN Tele/PCU; from US
    Specialty: 5+ year(s) of experience in Cardiac Telemetry/PCU, SNF

    10 Comments

  3. by   sherirn127
    First, I would like to say sorry for your loss.
    I would say yes send the card.
    I know that it makes me feel better when a parent appreciates the work we do. I dont think you will be intruding. I would think they would want to know how you feel.
  4. by   ?burntout
    I'm not a NICU nurse but I just wanted to tell you that you and your wife should send a card to the nurses that took care of your daughter. Your daughter probably does and always will hold a special place in the heart of the nurses that took care of her.
    After our first child died (he was born at 32 weeks-died at 12 days due to congenital heart disease), my husband and I sent Thank you cards to both NICUs that took care of our son. We took a goodie basket to one of the NICUs about a year or two later and the nurses remembered us.
    Again, I don't work in the NICU but I am always honored and touched to know I made a difference in someone's life.

    I'm so sorry about your daughter . Please don't hesitate to PM me if you need anything-it does help to "talk" with someone who has been there (and is still there).
  5. by   augigi
    What a generous person you are to even think of this in your time of grief! They'd love it, and appreciate it greatly. Knowing you made something like that the tiniest bit easier is why they do it.
  6. by   traumaRUs
    I am so sorry for your loss. You are very kind and compassionate to want to thank those that cared for your precious daughter. I'm sure they would appreciate a card.

    Please take care of yourself.
  7. by   babynurselsa
    God Bless you and your wife during such a difficult time.
    I know that I personally treasure those little cards that I have recieved over the years.
    Take care.
  8. by   Humbled_Nurse
    Sorry for the loss of your little one.

    Yes, sending a card would be a good thing to do. I actually save any cards I get from families and put them in my nursing scrapbook. It is always very rewarding to get thank you cards from families.

    God Bless!
  9. by   RainDreamer
    I think a card would be appropriate and much appreciative.

    I'm so sorry for your loss, take care of yourselves.
  10. by   imenid37
    I am so sorry to hear. about your dear little baby. I know the nurses would love a card. How sweet you and your wife are to think of them. I know they are thinking of you too. Take care.
  11. by   Spatialized
    Thanks for all of the replies and thanks for your good thoughts. I know it sounds odd to be thinking of others in this time, but I kind of feel that it would bring a small sense of closure to at least a fraction of the experience. In the near future they'll both be getting cards.

    Thanks again,
    Tom
  12. by   33-weeker
    so sorry for your loss. your heart must be breaking.

    i think your note would not do harm, but rather good for those nurses. i only work level ii, so when we lose a baby its a real shock. i can't imagine what it is like to work in a unit where losing these precious little ones is commonplace! (but by no means 'routine')

    part of what makes it difficult for nurses in this situation is seeing the pain the family goes through. it's heartwrenching. sending them a note that shows your appreciation and shows that your family is healing would be healing for your baby's caregivers as well.

    best wishes.

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