New job purgatory; please talk sense to me

[NightNerd, MSN, RN]

I'm having some buyer's remorse over my new job and just need y'all to remind me to use my brain right now.

I posted a few months ago regarding two jobs I was considering. Well, I took one, and after a few months I am unfortunately pretty unhappy. I don't regret leaving the job I was at before, but overall I don't think this position was a good choice for me. It's in a new specialty, non-bedside, both the employer and I took a chance here, and it's not what I expected. The employer is not really the problem; the folks I work with are nice and the work is low stress. But I am so bored every day, to the point where I wonder why they even hired someone for this position (I know it can take a while for some new jobs to really get going, though). Also, I miss the bedside, a LOT more than I expected, and found it more fulfilling than what I'm doing currently. I keep asking myself how long I have to do this, and my dislike of this job is so consuming that it's hard to even enjoy my time off.

Along with adjusting to the job, I've been working on my MSN, had several unexpected expenses with my car, and am getting ready to move so I can be a little closer to this job, which is a minimum one hour commute each way. I know that 1) I was very optimistic to take this job and maybe shouldn't have been, in retrospect, 2) I'm not in a great mental/emotional place right now with all of these changes and responsibilities, and 3) this is not a time to make any crazy decisions based on the strong feelings I'm having.

My current plan is to revisit where I'm at with this job after I've been there for at least six months (just into the new year) and see how I feel then. At first I planned to stay a year, but I'm so unhappy right now that six months is all I feel like I can commit to without losing my mind. I'm hoping that by then I'll have more on my plate and have found more about this job that I enjoy - or that I'll be so done the decision will be clear. I don't want to walk away too soon, both because I don't want to look flighty and because a former classmate is the one who gave me this opportunity. (We did discuss that I could use more on my plate, but I don't think she knows the full extent of my feelings.) At the same time, I don't want to spend multiple years of my life miserable just to keep a pristine resume with no job hopping. This is reasonable, right? (If it's not, I want to hear about it; I can handle the truth.)

Tl;dr - Basically not happy in a job I took at the beginning of the summer, trying to decide how long to sit on it before making any major decisions about it.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I can totally relate. I left the bedside for a boring desk job and like you didn't realize how much I would miss bedside nursing.

I had to stay six months before I was able to transfer out back to the floor at the same hospital. I think six months is plenty of time to come to that decision, although I pretty much knew within the first few weeks I'd made a mistake.

All the best. I think it's great you're self aware that with all the other stressors no need to add to it.

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

If you have the option to go back to the old job then I don't see the point in waiting 6 months to do that. You thank your friend for her help, explain that you realize you prefer the bedside and this job has helped clarify that for you. You give proper and generous notice and explain this is not a good fit. That's not job hopping, unless you do this all the time.

If you cannot go back to the old job then I can see why you would not want to add any major changes right now, while you feel like you are not in a good place emotionally and mentally.

[NightNerd, MSN, RN]

4 hours ago, FolksBtrippin said:

If you have the option to go back to the old job then I don't see the point in waiting 6 months to do that. You thank your friend for her help, explain that you realize you prefer the bedside and this job has helped clarify that for you. You give proper and generous notice and explain this is not a good fit. That's not job hopping, unless you do this all the time.

If you cannot go back to the old job then I can see why you would not want to add any major changes right now, while you feel like you are not in a good place emotionally and mentally.

Thanks! I don't think the old job is an option. I loved a lot about it and had good relationships with most of my coworkers and my manager; however, I was burnt out of the patient population and was not happy with the overall hospital. They also only have open night shift positions, which I think I'd like to stay away from for now; five years of nights was great in many ways, but I was exhausted by the end! Although I still wake up most nights at 2 AM, hungry and ready to do stuff, so I'm pretty tired anyway!

[Rebeccakb]

I’m bored at my desk job too. I listen to books on tape or music, and do my msn homework. I get out of the office for lunch and exercise. Try to find something that gives you fulfillment outside of work. I think as nurses we are used to feeling purpose through work but most people don’t have that so enjoy hobies after work or weekends. Try to make the most of the regular hours that you were missing by working nights. Also could try to transfer within the same company so your resume doesn’t have as many places listed.

[Nunya, BSN]

I stayed at a similar job for a little over 2 years. I hated it. I was miserable and I know I made others miserable too. I cried a lot, I drank a lot. I was off weekends but I spent most Saturdays recuperating and every Sunday dreading going back on Monday. Some jobs just aren't meant for some people. Talk to your supervisor again about getting more to do if you think that will help, otherwise it might be time to start job hunting again.

[NightNerd, MSN, RN]

10 hours ago, Rebeccakb said:

I’m bored at my desk job too. I listen to books on tape or music, and do my msn homework. I get out of the office for lunch and exercise. Try to find something that gives you fulfillment outside of work. I think as nurses we are used to feeling purpose through work but most people don’t have that so enjoy hobies after work or weekends. Try to make the most of the regular hours that you were missing by working nights. Also could try to transfer within the same company so your resume doesn’t have as many places listed.

Yeah, I'm getting a lot of homework time in too, but that feels weird! How much of your job is actually doing stuff *for work*? Do you hace enough to do to fill your day, or is there a ton of downtime? I keep wondering if I'm missing some major part of my job, but based on what everyone else is doing I don't think so, and the feedback I've gotten seems okay. Not that bedside didn't have its boring shifts, but there was always the potential for excitement.

You're right that it's important to not base fulfillment solely off of work, and I do have hobbies and friends that I try to enjoy. Not doing anything all day is just taking all my energy in ways I've never experienced before, which makes it hard to keep up outside of work.

10 hours ago, Elaine M said:

I stayed at a similar job for a little over 2 years. I hated it. I was miserable and I know I made others miserable too. I cried a lot, I drank a lot. I was off weekends but I spent most Saturdays recuperating and every Sunday dreading going back on Monday. Some jobs just aren't meant for some people. Talk to your supervisor again about getting more to do if you think that will help, otherwise it might be time to start job hunting again.

Wow, I'm sorry that was your experience! Have you found something you like more, I hope? Two years feels like an eternity to spend being miserable at work. Agreed, the weekend is ruined now; Saturday is spent exhaustedly trying to have fun and run errands and just breathe, and Sunday is prepping for the next week. Bedside definitely requires recovery time, but only having to actually go to three times a week makes an incredible difference.

My supervisor recently scheduled biweekly progress meetings with everyone individually, so when mine comes up next week, I think I'll just tell her that this doesn't seem like a good fit and I'm finding that I miss direct patient care. I'm not gonna rage-quit or anything, but just to give her a heads-up, in case she hasn't already noticed. I'm currently inquiring about a couple jobs, some that offer training for new specialties, but nothing is set in stone - and I will give plenty of notice if one of them does work out. I won't move on unless I find something I'm truly excited about this time, and I have a better idea of what to look for now. I feel like I'm losing valuable time keeping my skills and critical thinking in practice by sitting here trying to act busy all week.

[ruby_jane, BSN, RN]

On ‎8‎/‎23‎/‎2019 at 5:39 PM, NightNerd said:

My current plan is to revisit where I'm at with this job after I've been there for at least six months (just into the new year) and see how I feel then.

You have a plan, and it's a good one. Remember, you've got some stressors piling up - left job, new job, school. Short of getting married or having a relative die I think those are the highest points on the bad stress scale!

You owe the new job nothing. But you haven't been there long enough to get comfortable (my lived experience is it takes a year to feel comfy and another year to get good).

Hang in there.

[RNNPICU, BSN, RN]

3 hours ago, NightNerd said:

My supervisor recently scheduled biweekly progress meetings with everyone individually, so when mine comes up next week, I think I'll just tell her that this doesn't seem like a good fit and I'm finding that I miss direct patient care.

I would not recommend stating you don't think it is a good it and that you miss patient care. This sends the idea that you are not making attempts at your new job. I realize you are frustrated, but use thise biweekly meetings to ask ways you can gain new skills at this job. I think if you state you miss patient care, even if you are, it could show that you are not focused on learning your new job. You might want to try and say something along the lines of.. "it is an adjustment for me coming from direct care, what suggestions do you have that can help me continue to ease into this role"

I feel like I'm losing valuable time keeping my skills and critical thinking in practice by sitting here trying to act busy all week.

Please don't focus on skills that you are losing. You are not losing any skills, try and shift the focus to learning new skills and tasks. Use your critical thinking in different ways. There may be things that they are wanting you to learn but are waiting for you to reach a certain point in your new position. I think if you are to focused on what you perceive as losing skills, you are losing time in gaining skills.

I wish you the best as you navigate this new job. Give it a little more time. It is always hard not to look back, but try and think forward as in what skills will I gain from this experience and how will it take me to the next.

[NightNerd, MSN, RN]

@RNNPICU those are good points. I have been seeking feedback and direction outside of these meetings, and they straight-up told me from the beginning that their training program is a work in progress, so maybe I need to have more patience. I am a little nervous because I've heard several people discuss (recent) past employees who were fired within months after hire because they "weren't good," and I'm like, "OMG, that could easily be *me*!" Like, even though I'm asking for feedback and work and am told I'm doing fine, I could totally be missing the mark for them and not even know it.

I know that the logical thing to do is give it time, and that is (mostly) my intention (I don't think I could stop myself if something irresistible comes along). Even if this ends up being a short stay, I want to feel like I gave it my best effort. I see your point that it would probably be better to be more positive during the one-on-ones; I just feel like I have repeatedly asked similar questions and it's not going anywhere. But thank you for your advice; I really will try to move forward in this job for a little longer.

[RNNPICU, BSN, RN]

NightNerd:

Sometimes the struggle is really real. Change is always hard and sometimes the transition is hard. It is never fair to compare about direct care, non-direct care. Each have their benefits.

Keep doing what you are doing!!

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[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

Good luck with all you've got going on. A couple years ago I took a position in case management, not really having a good grasp of it, the manager sold me on this "need a MSN nurse to use their nursing expertise" line, and that turned out to NOT be true in the position I was hired for. On day two I called my husband and said "This is NOT going to work out", I last six weeks and gave my notice. Fortunately I was only per diem, so there wasn't really a problem and the manager was pretty understanding. Sometimes things just don't work out, but I was also in the position of being able to walk away without needing a recommendation, or a benefits eligible position, so it was a pretty easy decision. I hope that the job gets better, but if not, it's not unreasonable that you would move on. Someone else may love it, it's no bad reflection on you that you don't. Good luck.