New grad RN, absolutely hate nursing

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I am a new RN, graduated in dec 2018. I am starting my first RN job this month as a surgery float. Im from Canada so I did a 10 week preceptorship at the end of my degree.

I really really dislike nursing. To be clear, i enjoyed the academic part - i like science and learning and i did well in the academic part. It was clinicals i hated. I realized this more than halfway through my degree but I didnt want to quit and i naively thought id somehow like it by the end. In 2nd year i made a med error in clinical with no harm to ththe patient but i was seriously traumatized and didnt deal with it until after i graduated when I decided i needed to start going to therapy. This event in 2nd year severely intensified the anxiety i was already experiencing. Honestly i had never before experienced in my life what i would call anxiety until nursing school - and I already had a unrelated diploma and had worked since i was 15, but never experienxed anything near the continually worsening anxiety in nursing. In the first week of my 4th year preceptorship, I had a "near miss" were i hung a med and realized at the last second that it was too early. I was completely devestated, went home and told my parents i was quitting and not going back the next day. Long story short i did go back and finish, but it was rough

I didnt realize fully how much nursing had affected me until i finished school. All of the sudden i started to be happy again. Like, actually happy. I hadnt realized how much i hated my life and myself up to that point. My therapist diagnosed me with situational depression.

So now, i dont know what to do. I have this job starting in a week and i am getting very anxious again. I really really dont want to do it. But i feel like i need to? I dont know what else to do and it seems pretty difficult to get a nonhospital job without hospital experience but there in absolutely no way i can go back to how things were before, even if "just" for 6 months or a year. Any insight? Tips?

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

Well...if you feel this strongly about it and don't think you have it in you to "give it a chance" any further, just get out now while you still can. Don't waste their time either ya know?

Sometimes people are just not designed to do certain things and that is totally fine, don't force it either, especially if you're still young. That goes into anything in life. If you're not happy, why subject yourself to it? Maybe go into administration or research?

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What does your therapist say? Do that.

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Maybe you should consider a different type of nursing? Doctors office, WIC office, public health, legal nurse, nurse health coach, hospice care, etc? There are a number of non-bedside nursing options out there.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
22 hours ago, Ashley Karanja said:

i enjoyed the academic part - i like science and learning and i did well in the academic part. It was clinicals i hated.

I am responding with all due respect and empathy, Ashley, but as George Bernard Shaw said, and I'm paraphrasing a bit here: "S/He who can does; s/he who cannot, teaches.”

I know of a lot of nurses who teach numerous different areas of nursing like CNA certification.

It's worthy of consideration, eh?

And, if I may quote another, Woody Allen added, "Those who can't teach, teach gym"!

Good luck and the very best to you, Ashley!

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Hi Ashley. You should consider becoming a nurse paralegal. I was a litigation paralegal for 13 years and now am a CNA and an EMT. I worked in a large law firm and we had two nurses who worked with us. They worked our same hours (M-F 8-5) and they ordered and summarized all our medical records for us and helped us prepare the attorneys for hearings, depositions and trials. They loved it and made great money. It's not boring. They played a key role because our cases involved personal injuries but none of us were medical professionals and we relied on the nurses to help. You might need to get a paralegal certificate but those are fairly easy to get. Try for the big firms because the smaller firms can't afford to keep nurses on staff but the large firms can.

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How old are you? If you're under 35 get out now; honestly, the stress will only compound as time goes on.

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Specializes in Neonatal.
On 5/5/2019 at 5:01 PM, Kypovan said:

Maybe you should consider a different type of nursing? Doctors office, WIC office, public health, legal nurse, nurse health coach, hospice care, etc? There are a number of non-bedside nursing options out there.

This is what I was coming to say. There are many aspects of nursing that will let you do the academic side and not the care delivery side of nursing. I love being at the bedside with my patients but find that I am even more passionate about research (which I'm in school for now). There are many ways to explore these roles that you may find are your niche without having to get another degree.

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Wow, I completely resonate with 95% of your experience. I, too, enjoyed the science part of nursing and I absolutely LOVED theory, but I developed some anxiety after having a not-so-great encounter with one of my clinical instructors. I went as far as to withdraw from my nursing program for one semester..

I discovered that bedside was not for me. I recently started at a community clinic and I absolutely love my work. I do lots of patient education, do case management, and still get to do many clinical skills. Some will say I won't ever be able to transition back into hospital nursing, but I found a passion in community health nursing. Perhaps, you too need to find the field of nursing that catches your passion.

I wish you the best. Your mental health and happiness are #1.

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Specializes in UR/PA, Hematology/Oncology, Med Surg, Psych.
On 5/5/2019 at 2:01 PM, Kypovan said:

Maybe you should consider a different type of nursing? Doctors office, WIC office, public health, legal nurse, nurse health coach, hospice care, etc? There are a number of non-bedside nursing options out there.

I believe that a legal nurse would have to have alot of experience and probably an advanced degree.

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Device sales rep...anything cardiac.

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I agree with what a lot of the others said with regards to doing something non-bedside. Bedside nursing is not for everyone, and that's okay! Nurses are needed in many areas, not only at the bedside. Do what works for you, Ashley!

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