I am a new RN, graduated in dec 2018. I am starting my first RN job this month as a surgery float. Im from Canada so I did a 10 week preceptorship at the end of my degree.
I really really dislike nursing. To be clear, i enjoyed the academic part - i like science and learning and i did well in the academic part. It was clinicals i hated. I realized this more than halfway through my degree but I didnt want to quit and i naively thought id somehow like it by the end. In 2nd year i made a med error in clinical with no harm to ththe patient but i was seriously traumatized and didnt deal with it until after i graduated when I decided i needed to start going to therapy. This event in 2nd year severely intensified the anxiety i was already experiencing. Honestly i had never before experienced in my life what i would call anxiety until nursing school - and I already had a unrelated diploma and had worked since i was 15, but never experienxed anything near the continually worsening anxiety in nursing. In the first week of my 4th year preceptorship, I had a "near miss" were i hung a med and realized at the last second that it was too early. I was completely devestated, went home and told my parents i was quitting and not going back the next day. Long story short i did go back and finish, but it was rough
I didnt realize fully how much nursing had affected me until i finished school. All of the sudden i started to be happy again. Like, actually happy. I hadnt realized how much i hated my life and myself up to that point. My therapist diagnosed me with situational depression.
So now, i dont know what to do. I have this job starting in a week and i am getting very anxious again. I really really dont want to do it. But i feel like i need to? I dont know what else to do and it seems pretty difficult to get a nonhospital job without hospital experience but there in absolutely no way i can go back to how things were before, even if "just" for 6 months or a year. Any insight? Tips?
A comment on the professional ideas for our children. I have told my three kids I will help pay for any degree, as long as it is not Nursing. And that is pretty sad. But, back to the job issue of the thread. With years of experience and a BSN I have always found good paying jobs impossible to find unless they are in a hospital. I know in certain regions there is more opportunity but this is actually why I went back to bedside again so I am more employable. I have had many jobs outside of the hospital setting but they have paid me peanuts. And as a side note, even in the hospital, I am currently making the same wage as 18 years ago. If you have an inheritance, or are married to a high earner, it may not matter where you work- but otherwise I recommend trying to get that year experience at bedside and then start applying for other positions.
Get hired for the three 12's and then bag your manager to go down to two a week instead. You'll be able to do two. I understand the intense anxiety well.
Specializes in Medicine, Geriatrics, Ambulatory Care.
3 hours ago, unknownjulie said:
Get hired for the three 12's and then bag your manager to go down to two a week instead. You'll be able to do two. I understand the intense anxiety well.
I worked befside fulltime for years. I don’t know I managed. Whew! Then when I got the guts and a part time position twice a week showed up, I grabbed it. That only held me out for two more years until I went casual and even doing one shift every month was too much for my sanity. I was just done and burned out. What I learned is that if you keep pushing for something that isn’t for you, something will give and I learned that the hard way.
I feel for the OP. I wrote something similar to this post when I graduated. Felt like ages ago but my sentiment is still the same. I hope she finds her way through life, I can empathize with what she’s going through and wish her all the best.
Specializes in Medicine, Geriatrics, Ambulatory Care.
12 hours ago, Workitinurfava said:
Initially I did because I wanted her to get a job in a field that she would have many options in and also because there were so many things that she didn't want to do. Plus even when things are tough, it doesn't mean you don't do it, you have to survive in this world, eat and pay bills..... My daughter currently works at a bank, has no degree and makes about 20 dollars an hour. She is 20 years old. She plans to go to college but not right now, she is moving up in the banking industry without a degree. She moved up from a call center position. She is very good with money.
Your daughter is quite an admirable, responsible young adult! I wish I had the same courage as she did and did not buy in to my mother's own pressure to find something stable and 'well paying'.and convinced me to go in to nursing. Until now, I still harbor some resentment that my mom talked me into it though I take responsibility for my actions now for the future. Sometimes, we just have to trust that our children will figure out their own way through life and bless you for trusting in her to do so.
I live in one of the only few areas in this country where the norm is 8 hour shifts. Spending the same time and money commuting just to get less hours. but I guess it's ok because there are thousands of other nurses doing it.
A comment on the professional ideas for our children. I have told my three kids I will help pay for any degree, as long as it is not Nursing. And that is pretty sad. But, back to the job issue of the thread. With years of experience and a BSN I have always found good paying jobs impossible to find unless they are in a hospital. I know in certain regions there is more opportunity but this is actually why I went back to bedside again so I am more employable. I have had many jobs outside of the hospital setting but they have paid me peanuts. And as a side note, even in the hospital, I am currently making the same wage as 18 years ago. If you have an inheritance, or are married to a high earner, it may not matter where you work- but otherwise I recommend trying to get that year experience at bedside and then start applying for other positions.
You said a mouth full and can't be more right. Better be ready to stay put where you are, possibly for life, if you keave the bedside. It can be done but inpatient experience keeps a nurse more employable.
I graduated in 2016, worked on the floor for about 7 months, too stressful for me knowing the someone’s life is in my hands and don’t have enough experience to do what has to be done if something happened. I’ve been an MDS Coordinator since then and love it. Look it up - you might like it- don’t quit nursing world all together. You can do soooo many things with your nursing degree. Let me know if you have any questions
How did you end up so quickly in MDS? All the jobs I see posted require several years of experience.
unknownjulie
110 Posts
A comment on the professional ideas for our children. I have told my three kids I will help pay for any degree, as long as it is not Nursing. And that is pretty sad. But, back to the job issue of the thread. With years of experience and a BSN I have always found good paying jobs impossible to find unless they are in a hospital. I know in certain regions there is more opportunity but this is actually why I went back to bedside again so I am more employable. I have had many jobs outside of the hospital setting but they have paid me peanuts. And as a side note, even in the hospital, I am currently making the same wage as 18 years ago. If you have an inheritance, or are married to a high earner, it may not matter where you work- but otherwise I recommend trying to get that year experience at bedside and then start applying for other positions.