New grad RN, absolutely hate nursing

[Ashley Karanja]

I am a new RN, graduated in dec 2018. I am starting my first RN job this month as a surgery float. Im from Canada so I did a 10 week preceptorship at the end of my degree.

I really really dislike nursing. To be clear, i enjoyed the academic part - i like science and learning and i did well in the academic part. It was clinicals i hated. I realized this more than halfway through my degree but I didnt want to quit and i naively thought id somehow like it by the end. In 2nd year i made a med error in clinical with no harm to ththe patient but i was seriously traumatized and didnt deal with it until after i graduated when I decided i needed to start going to therapy. This event in 2nd year severely intensified the anxiety i was already experiencing. Honestly i had never before experienced in my life what i would call anxiety until nursing school - and I already had a unrelated diploma and had worked since i was 15, but never experienxed anything near the continually worsening anxiety in nursing. In the first week of my 4th year preceptorship, I had a "near miss" were i hung a med and realized at the last second that it was too early. I was completely devestated, went home and told my parents i was quitting and not going back the next day. Long story short i did go back and finish, but it was rough

I didnt realize fully how much nursing had affected me until i finished school. All of the sudden i started to be happy again. Like, actually happy. I hadnt realized how much i hated my life and myself up to that point. My therapist diagnosed me with situational depression.

So now, i dont know what to do. I have this job starting in a week and i am getting very anxious again. I really really dont want to do it. But i feel like i need to? I dont know what else to do and it seems pretty difficult to get a nonhospital job without hospital experience but there in absolutely no way i can go back to how things were before, even if "just" for 6 months or a year. Any insight? Tips?

[RN In FL]

Understood, sis. Thats just why I will never go back. Seems all acute want these days are certifications, and acronyms, behind your RN anyway. Glad I am an old nurse too at 56??

[Forest2]

2 hours ago, RN In FL said:

I tell ya, I am an "old skool RN" meaning I graduated back in 1983. When we went to nursing school, WE KNEW WE WANTED TO TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE! We were sure we wanted to be nurses, there was no complaining after we were blessed to graduate and sit boards, earning that "black stripe across the cap" ?. Seems like today, most of what I see are hear from "new grads" is how terrible nursing is......I hate the bedside......and "burnout" after 6 months" I want Fast track to become NP or CRNA or DNP. I just don't get it. What were you expecting? Good in theory so you want to teach nursing, but you hate the bedside??? Its "not for me". So were you thinking after nursing school, I go straight to SENIOR MANAGEMENT......OR STRAIGHT TO TEACHING OR RESEARCH??? There is NO WAY a new grad from nursing school should be complaining about the career path they chose. What did you think was going to happen once you graduated??? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. Am I "eating the young", maybe I am, but I am sick and tired of the whining. PAY YOUR DUES, LEARN YOUR CRAFT. Running away from the "bedside" is not going to cure anything. One must learn the core/basics of nursing in the CLINICAL SETTING, the disease process, assessment skills, time management, exercise critical thinking skills, DOCUMENTATION, medication management, advocacy, and being a team player . You can't go into anything else without that experience and knowledge. Nursing "school" does not equip you to. I am a nurse, and I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

I think it is the overwhelming expectations placed on bedside nurses in many places. I was fine in bedside nursing back in 1983, but now, it is nearly impossible. I don't have time to think yet think critically, I race as fast as I can to get the tasks done, I don't have time to visit, I don't have time to assess. I don't have time to help other nurses, I don't have time to be a patient advocate. Some of these bedside jobs are horrendous. I know it depends on where you work but I would like to be a bedside nurse in a place that actually allows that to happen. Where do the nurses go?

[SmilingBluEyes]

On 5/8/2019 at 3:15 PM, RosesrReder said:

Don't do it. It is not worth your mental health and then physical. This career is not for everyone and unfortunately, most don't realize it until they are far into it and try it out for themselves. There are plenty of other jobs you can do away from the bedside. May not pay as much as a hospital job but there is a reason for that. Much luck to you.

ETA: Look into nursing jobs through insurance, case management, informatics etc.

Sorry, but------those jobs are very hard to get for experienced nurses. Too many are trying to get into them as it is, to escape the nightmare at the bedside.

I know what I am saying as I have been an RN for 22 years in various specialties, in and out of the hospital, and tried to get into both case mgt and insurance company work. They want "experience" in those fields, specifically. And a master's degree anymore for case management. A new grad has about zero chance of getting those jobs. They can afford to be choosy as there are a ton of nurses trying to do the same thing.

[SmilingBluEyes]

On 5/9/2019 at 11:25 AM, Mr.E said:

Only you know to the fullest extent the trauma you’ve experienced and if it’s worth it with respect to your mental health to continue trying to make clinical nursing work for you. If you are interested in trying clinical nursing again, I recommend maybe exploring what makes you uneasy. Is it coworkers, bullying, is it the noise, is it interacting with people, it can even be that you may not feel confident in some of skills that your job demands. You are human. You are allowed to not be the best at something. Some things take a while to perfect. So come to terms with what it is, face it, and work on it if you see fit. Maybe seeking a mentor may be beneficial. Key here is being aware of what the issue is, who you are as a person, what space you are currently in in your life, and if attempting clinical nursing again is worth it for you. If it’s not, that’s a okay! Perhaps you can consider non bedside roles such as case management, telehealth, litigation, etc. All in all be kind to yourself. All the best to you!

Those jobs require experience, lots of it. And so many are trying to get into those specialties they are very picky. Even experienced nurses find it hard to do what you suggest, let alone those with so little experience.

It's not helpful to the OP to suggest specialties requiring years of experience and an MSN. (at least in case mgt Where I live). I see too many suggestions that won't work out for the OP. Lack of applicable experience is going to prevent any nurse from securing positions that are already high in demand.

[SmilingBluEyes]

One of the most viable suggestions I see that may be most realistic, (for the newer nurse), is dialysis. The larger companies will hire new nurses and train them. 6 months with a mentor nurse are required before they are on their own. It is a step away from the bedside, but it's hard, hard work. Many nurses go into dialysis thinking it will be easy as it's not the "bedside" and find out how wrong that is. You run your butt off for 10 to 12 hours straight there too. It's physically demanding. The paperwork is never-ending and tedious.

The patients are pedantic and difficult often. And very angry because of their chronic kidney disease and associated loss of control. It's a specialty that requires a lot of teaching, coaching, and patience----which is a good thing, as nurses are especially well-suited for this. But it can be frustrating for the same reasons. Non-adherence is rampant and difficult to overcome.

For many, it is much better than the bedside in the hospital and worth looking into. Some nurses LOVE dialysis and therefore, it's the only specialty they have ever worked in. And it's a specialty that will grow----tremendously---in the next 5 to 10 years, thanks to out of control American diets, morbid obesity, diabetes and hypertension. People are increasingly unhealthy and lose their kidney function every day.

So if you choose dialysis, you will always have a job. It is a great gig for some nurses and is worth trying. Sadly if the growth in end stage renal disease is not abated--- (or alternative therapy not put in place)---- there will be more patients than chairs very soon. That brings me to another alternative---- home therapies dialysis nursing, which will also grow, for the same reasons.

[Workitinurfava, BSN, RN]

2 hours ago, Forest2 said:

I think it is the overwhelming expectations placed on bedside nurses in many places. I was fine in bedside nursing back in 1983, but now, it is nearly impossible. I don't have time to think yet think critically, I race as fast as I can to get the tasks done, I don't have time to visit, I don't have time to assess. I don't have time to help other nurses, I don't have time to be a patient advocate. Some of these bedside jobs are horrendous. I know it depends on where you work but I would like to be a bedside nurse in a place that actually allows that to happen. Where do the nurses go?

I got into nursing years back when it was on it's way to going even further downhill. There is so much more charting that needs to be done. It is insane. It is definitely different than how it used to be. I remember my step mother when she was a nurse and it was different then to. There is so much of the same thing just rephrased and the training needs work. I prefer an experienced nurse to train me, but where are they?, most have been ran away or left due to the crazy expectations, plus new grads are cheaper. To answer your question about where nurses go, they bounce around until they either leave nursing or get to old to keep jumping from job to job (they say put till they retire).

[Workitinurfava, BSN, RN]

29 minutes ago, SmilingBluEyes said:

One of the most viable suggestions I see that may be most realistic, (for the newer nurse), is dialysis. The larger companies will hire new nurses and train them. 6 months with a mentor nurse are required before they are on their own. It is a step away from the bedside, but it's hard, hard work. Many nurses go into dialysis thinking it will be easy as it's not the "bedside" and find out how wrong that is. You run your butt off for 10 to 12 hours straight there too. It's physically demanding. The paperwork is never-ending and tedious.

The patients are pedantic and difficult often. And very angry because of their chronic kidney disease and associated loss of control. It's a specialty that requires a lot of teaching, coaching, and patience----which is a good thing, as nurses are especially well-suited for this. But it can be frustrating for the same reasons. Non-adherence is rampant and difficult to overcome.

For many, it is much better than the bedside in the hospital and worth looking into. Some nurses LOVE dialysis and therefore, it's the only specialty they have ever worked in. And it's a specialty that will grow----tremendously---in the next 5 to 10 years, thanks to out of control American diets, morbid obesity, diabetes and hypertension. People are increasingly unhealthy and lose their kidney function every day. So if you choose dialysis, you will always have a job. It is a great gig for some nurses and is worth trying. Sadly if the growth in end stage renal disease is not abated--- (or alternative therapy not put in place)---- there will be more patients than chairs very soon. That brings me to another alternative---- home therapies dialysis nursing, which will also grow, for the same reasons.

Dialysis has it's pros can cons. If you don't mind showing up to work at 4 am and leaving at 6 or 9 pm, then go for it. Dialysis clinics are run like an assembly line in a factory. I don't know how it works with the hospital. Honestly and I say this because I have worked in many areas of nursing and am now back at the hospital, there is no place to run or hide in nursing. You will pay in some form or fashion, or replace one thing with another but either way, you will work harder than you want to. Too many duties plus not enough staff or help feeds the chaos in nursing. On the other hand, I don't mind working hard, so I am ok for now. I am not a person who looks for handouts. I get depressed not working and being productive.

[Workitinurfava, BSN, RN]

1 hour ago, SmilingBluEyes said:

Those jobs require experience, lots of it. And so many are trying to get into those specialties they are very picky. Even experienced nurses find it hard to do what you suggest, let alone those with so little experience.

It's not helpful to the OP to suggest specialties requiring years of experience and an MSN. (at least in case mgt Where I live). I see too many suggestions that won't work out for the OP. Lack of applicable experience is going to prevent any nurse from securing positions that are already high in demand.

Case managers need to have experience because you will need to work independently as a case manager. You will make life altering decisions and you need to have a solid background to pull from. Some of the big companies are increasing the number of visits a case manager has to make. You won't just work in your home location. You will have to go into so many different areas to visit patients if you are a field case manager. Some of the visits you make can be an hour away. You will also need to be good with knowing how to coordinate with other disciplines to get your job done. You will make many calls trying to track this and that down to help the patient. It can be rewarding work, but it is not easy work. If you are a phone case worker, it is a little better but you will have to make a ton of calls. Your ears may be on fire after your shift. I have seen hospital case workers and they look stressed to the max. They have to cover a large part of the hospital. I am not saying all CM jobs are like this, I am only speaking on what I have experienced and observed.

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

On 5/8/2019 at 8:56 AM, Sarah2018 said:

"I was not the only nurse, also so many of them graduated with me. They are humans too with feelings."

So...you weren't the only nursing student in your nursing program? Great! And your fellow graduates were human? Fantastic!! And these human beings had feelings? Awesome!!

"Non-bedside nursing means a bullsh*t job where you won’t make a difference whether you are there or not."

So you're personally aware of all non-bedside jobs in nursing and their relative value to healthcare? It must hurt to be so smart!!

[leilo0, BSN, RN]

On 5/7/2019 at 12:20 PM, Workitinurfava said:

I tried to get my daughter into nursing but she could not handle the sight of blood. I really tried my hardest to get her to do nursing but it is pointless to be into something that you mentally cannot handle. ... I had to let go of my dream of her becoming a nurse. I would not want her being a nurse to make me happy. The other thing is I was completely honest with her about the job, and I even had her come to my work to shawdow a bunch of times. She was always sick to her stomach. Lolz... I know way too many nurses on anxiety medication to functions as nurses.

Curious as to why would you want your daughter to go through that knowing what you know about nursing? There are other jobs out there that make decent pay, even better than nursing without the negative stuff people couldn't put up with about this job. As a nursing student, one nurse I followed told me she begged her daughter not to be a nurse and I could not for the life out of me understand this until I was almost done with my program but what to do? I sucked it up. Made it through five years of bedside nursing until I could not do it anymore - bedside nurse in a inner city hospital where the patients are not for the faint of heart. Now I do clinic nursing where I still make a difference. Don't let anyone lead you to believe it is bedside nursing or bust. There are ways to help others without sacrificing your own well being.

[Workitinurfava, BSN, RN]

45 minutes ago, leilo0 said:

Curious as to why would you want your daughter to go through that knowing what you know about nursing? There are other jobs out there that make decent pay, even better than nursing without the negative stuff people couldn't put up with about this job. As a nursing student, one nurse I followed told me she begged her daughter not to be a nurse and I could not for the life out of me understand this until I was almost done with my program but what to do? I sucked it up. Made it through five years of bedside nursing until I could not do it anymore - bedside nurse in a inner city hospital where the patients are not for the faint of heart. Now I do clinic nursing where I still make a difference. Don't let anyone lead you to believe it is bedside nursing or bust. There are ways to help others without sacrificing your own well being.

Initially I did because I wanted her to get a job in a field that she would have many options in and also because there were so many things that she didn't want to do. Plus even when things are tough, it doesn't mean you don't do it, you have to survive in this world, eat and pay bills. I told her to just try it out and later she could switch to something else. I tried to get her to do other things besides nursing. At one point she said she wanted to do retail as a career. Sometimes people choose nursing because of limited options, it is easier to get into school, graduate and start working compared to other types of work. The pay is decent too, considering the short amount of schooling, 2 years. My daughter currently works at a bank, has no degree and makes about 20 dollars an hour. She is 20 years old. She plans to go to college but not right now, she is moving up in the banking industry without a degree. She moved up from a call center position. She is very good with money. I feel she will keep moving up and she likes what she does so it all worked out. She lives at home with her dad and I. We don't charge rent. She only has to cover her car and insurance. She is doing well for a child her age.

[Monkey Nurse, ASN, RN]

As everyon else has said- there are way too many fields to say i hate nursing. You don’t have to be in direct patient care. Maybe even phone triage would suit you? I know nurses that travel with Medical device companies and teach. Nursing research will probably need a more advanced degree but theres more of that sciency stuff out there.

Beat wishes on finding your niche!