New Grad: I Feel Stupid

[newnursemoon, ADN, RN]

I graduated in July of 2020, but due to health issues wasn’t able to apply/get a job until November of 2020. I’m in a PCU floor and am currently in week 5 of a 10 week training program. I absolutely hate it, but I’m in a contract where if I were to break it and quit, I’d owe the company more money than I have (thanks medical bills!).

I’m not sure if the reason I hate it is just that I feel so lost during my shifts or if it’s just that I’m not cut out for PCU.

My preceptor says I’m doing good and has no issues with me; he even started not really “shadowing” every hour around week 3, so I’m alone for most of my shift. But I still feel like I’m just not with it during my shifts.

Last week a patient came back from surgery and was asking for breakfast, I checked and saw active diet orders, so I put in for a tray. Turns out another doctor had made him NPO for a procedure later that day, which he ended up missing bc the patient ate bc I missed a second diet order.

I just feel so stupid with everything, a doctor will ask me if there’s anything they need to know and I just stand there like an idiot. 

I don’t know guys, I feel like I have no choice but to stick it out but I don’t know if I’m cut out for being a nurse anymore. 

[speedynurse, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

I think you need to give yourself a little patience and grace. You are in week 5 of new grad training....you will likely make mistakes even if you are super cautious. I still admit to making mistakes or sometimes second guessing myself years down the road. I think most of what you are experiencing is new grad anxiety. I felt inadequate and down on myself during new grad days.....and sometimes still am like that. If your preceptor is supportive and says you are doing well, then it really does sound like you are on the right track. 
Keep learning, asking questions, if you make a mistake then learn from it, ask for help when you need it, etc.

[duchess78]

I think what you are feeling is normal. Maybe try approaching your preceptor and let them know how you are feeling. They may be trying to give you space because you are doing well! Try not to beat yourself up too much. We all make mistakes. It will get easier with time. You are just getting your feet wet. If after a year you still don't like it then think about something else. Don't give up yet! 

[TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN]

I had to sip on a bottle of Maalox before every shift for my first 2 months as a nurse because my stomach was so queasy from anxiety. It's completely and totally normal to feel the way you're feeling as a new grad. No matter what kind of floor you worked on you would be feeling this way. Give it time and keep on keeping on. The first year is the toughest. Like Speedy said, we all make mistakes whether you're a new grad or a veteran, it's how we learn and grow.

[LovingLife123]

Actually, the physician should have also Dc’d the diet order that was in as well.  That’s not your fault.  Our system automatically does it when another diet order is put in.  It frustrates me when doctors have 15 different orders in for the same thing.  They need to properly clean up their orders.  
 

What you are feeling is normal.  And it’s not a feeling that’s going to go away anytime soon.  It generally takes about a year to even start feeling comfortable.  Keep at it.  

[DavidFR, BSN, MSN, RN]

20 hours ago, newnursemoon said:

 My preceptor says I’m doing good and has no issues with me

That's all you need to focus on.

Big head know-it-all new grads who think they've seen it all and done it all when they've been qualified 5 minutes are the first to fall. Your feelings of insecurity are normal and it's always good to check yourself. It WILL get easier.

In May I'll have been qualified 35 years - and I'm still learning.

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

If your preceptor has no issues, you should rely on that as positive feedback. Give yourself a break. You're a new grad in a field with a huge learning curve. It takes time to find your confidence and solidify a skillset. 
 

The "mistake" you highlight wasn't  really your own if orders were entered incorrectly, and these things happen. As you finish your shifts, try to think of something positive and something constructive from each day. There are probably more positives than you're considering right now. Talk with your preceptor and other nurses for specific feedback, but know that you're probably doing just fine. Good luck!

[Accolay]

Dude... you've only been doing this for 5 weeks. Give yourself a real chance. You are going to make mistakes. No sugar coating here: this will be hard. Give yourself at least 12 months before you burn it all down.

Bear down, batten the hatches  Eat food, drink water, get sleep, have some fun (self care, yada yada yada) and hang in there.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Being new does not mean you are stupid. You are learning. You need at least 6 months to feel comfortable, a year or more for competence. Give it time; we have all been there.

 

I remember back when I started in OB I felt stupid, too. I wish someone had been kind enough to tell me I wasn't. I was put into many no-win situations and had a mean girls club to deal with. But I got through it. And I will say, it took 2 years for full competence in my specialty then. And it took almost as long as the one I am in now, years later.

Time takes time.

[RNperdiem, RN]

Accept that being new is going to be stressful. Keep going in and doing your best every shift even if you feel like Wiley Coyote about to fail and feel the pain each time. Picking yourself up and moving on is a life skill. Remind yourself of the things you did right, how you did help the patient and what you learned.

[nurse24_]

it will get better, hang in there! We all have made mistakes and are constantly learning no matter how experienced we are....give yourself more time and finish your preceptorship, don't call quits just yet ?