New grad frustrated, but trapped...in a "profession" i HATE.

crawlyberry · Jun 5, 2009

Is this the Gulport Hospital program that you are referencing?

Mollypita · Jun 5, 2009

You seem to be judging things very harshly when you haven't been doing this very long at all. It's always hard at first- especially the first 6 or 7 months. You really should give it a little more time... easy for someone else to say, I know. But really, that's a lot of money to pay for what? Having no job at all? But ultimately it's up to you, so good luck...

caliotter3 · Jun 5, 2009

If your ADHD is causing you significant distress, I would see a doctor and get evaluated and treated. It does not matter if you stay in nursing or go to another line of work. If you are not functioning at your optimum, then life will be harder and less enjoyable for you. Meanwhile, do some research on ADHD and take some self help steps to make your life more manageable. Complete your year. You don't need the debt. You need to give yourself enough time to adapt and perhaps see a change in your outlook.

Lovely_RN, MSN · Jun 5, 2009

You would owe 15k for an internship? I thought that internships were non-paying positions? I know that 9 more months seems like a long time but 15k is a lot of money to lose.

LHH1996 · Jun 5, 2009

oh..dear...i would hate for you to give up a career that can be rewarding even if it doesn't seem that way. i realize you are frustrated but don't give up. REally! as an earlier post said, get help for the attention problems. you haven't been doing it that long. try to hang in there? HUGS!!!!

Perpetual Student · Jun 5, 2009

If I were in your boat I'd suck it up for the year, not have to pay them the money, then promptly leave for a better job. Some nursing jobs are truly awesome, and I'm sure there are some that would be a good fit for you. It sounds like you're just in a miserable one. Your case serves a good lesson to others: if a place has to impose such a huge monetary penalty for quitting there's probably a reason for it.

oiramla.enitsirk · Jun 5, 2009

If you are posting just to say

I HATE it. I hatenursing.

then why don't just simply talk to a personal confidant to vent and give room for people who really need advice like this user:

Hello all! I have been at a LTC facility for 1 year now. I want to ask all the nurses for advice for a still new nurse. Any will be appreciated!!! Also, I may switch jobs....any ideas?? on what to ask at interviews, what are signs of a decent nursing home? What is decent patient/nurse/CNA ratio? What are red flags for a facility that may do alot of micro-managing? I feel I am also still having problems with my documentation, it doesn't come to easy to me...any advice? THANKS!!!!

jjjoy, LPN · Jun 5, 2009

I can relate to the feeling... and if you're in a place where you feel like you're nearly drowning everyday, to just "suck it up" or "stick it out" can feel like one is being advised to stay in an abusive relationship "for the kids" or "until you can support yourself financially"... and hoping that the straw that breaks the camel's back doesn't drop til then...

OP, remember that when folks give you advice, they are telling you what they THINK they'd do based on what they IMAGINE you're going through. You're the only one experiencing the situation. You're the only one here who has to get up and go to work each day. You're the only one here who would have to pay a large sum of money if the hospital enforced that contract.

What's best for you depends on YOU... and, in my opinion, in such situations, there is no perfect approach that can be applied across the board to anyone in a similar situation because that type of situation has so many variables and involves personal emotion and interpersonal relations.

In your situation, I'd need to do a lot of self-affirmation to not allow every perceived or real criticism or potential or real mistake to translate to "I'm a terrible person/horrible nurse for not getting that right!" and "If I did (or didn't do) that, it must mean I'll NEVER get this!" I would need to find or build a group of people to go to regularly for support... people who I could even call anytime (eg in the middle of the day from the bathroom on my cell) when I feel that I need the reassurance of talking to someone uninvolved and unconditionally supportive. If I can keep reminding myself that I AM worthy of respect NO MATTER WHAT, then I cope much better. So I can approach a supervisor more from a position of "this is what is and isn't working for me" instead of coming from a position of "I'm sorry I'm so slow and pathetic, I beg that you'll put up with my subpar performance so that I can hopefully do better in the future..."

For me, finding a place of self-acceptance in the face of such struggles really helps set the stage for working on solutions that I can truly live with. Best wishes to you!

Baloney Amputation, BSN, LPN, RN · Jun 5, 2009

If you are posting just to say then why don't just simply talk to a personal confidant to vent and give room for people who really need advice like this user:

Because it may be good for her to find out what other ADHDers do in her situation. ADHDers often don't think anyone "gets" them and often have trouble expressing themselves, and a personal confidante may not be an option because of this. I do hope you felt better getting that off your chest.

OP--go get yourself evaluated ASAP and at least learn how to cope with your environment for now. You don't hate nursing; you hate your situation today. Keep writing everything down.

SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN · Jun 5, 2009

you are not alone. come join us on the first year after nursing licensure forum: https://allnurses.com/first-year-after/

there are many posts similar to yours and not all of us suffer from add. being a new nurse is hard for many reasons, but i am told by many it gets better especially once you learn to stand up for yourself and you figure out which one of your co-workers can be supportive during your shift. gl and welcome!

Riseupandnurse · Jun 5, 2009

I think what you're feeling is kind of normal for many new nurses. I don't have ADHD and I cried every night for a year. You eventually DO get it straightened out; if I could, so can anyone. See if you can switch to a less hectic floor or schedule. And set a goal that you will get out in a year to something you will like a lot better. The time does pass, and things do get better.