been on the job for seven weeks (with preceptor) at a hospital....but i already feel down....i do everything i could, dont even eat anymore, but stilll feel like i havent done enough..worse, i get home thinking the things i may have missed or done wrong, so im losing sleep (started taking xanax, but doesnt help much)
im 21 and got a full scholarship at a uni for rn-bsn (will take 2 years, and have to be a full time student)...at first, i thought i could do full time at both...now, i feel like just going for school. i told our director like 2 weeks ago about this situation. at that point, i told her that i still like working at the hospital. but she told me i cant do part time cuz im a new grad, so maybe i can try both worlds full time....
Now, things are just getting harder--and realize if i work full time while studying, i may not be able to keep the grades then lose the scholarship....i dont know what to do. i thought of resigning, but im afraid they'll hate me after spending money on me for 2 months. and im worried about what my family, friends, the staff, fellow orientees, and preceptors would think.....im reallllly feeling down, insecure and....LONELY . need some advice....
