new grad depressed and feeling burnt out already

healthstar, BSN, RN · Jul 13, 2010

It doesn't matter what people think. It is your life and you are the only one who knows what is best for you. Hey, you can't make everybody happy. I know it is going to be hard to work full time and also going to school full time. You have to sacrifice to get what you want. If your job is important, and you want to keep it...then keep it. Just don't keep your job because you are worried about what they are going to say if you decide to leave. Put youself first and then others. I used to be one of those that kept a job just because I didn't want my boss to hate me. Who cares if they start to hate you, it's not like you are going to see them again and if a person hates you because you decided to continue education...then working for them is not worth it.Later, I realized I was an idiot for thinking that way because you know what...the truth is (the boss) doesn't care if you have school and how hard it is....they just care about their own business. I wish I could tell you what to do...but this up to you to decide....just think about what is more important to you.

NocturneRN · Jul 13, 2010

been on the job for seven weeks (with preceptor) at a hospital....but i already feel down....i do everything i could, dont even eat anymore, but stilll feel like i havent done enough..worse, i get home thinking the things i may have missed or done wrong, so im losing sleep (started taking xanax, but doesnt help much)
im 21 and got a full scholarship at a uni for rn-bsn (will take 2 years, and have to be a full time student)...at first, i thought i could do full time at both...now, i feel like just going for school. i told our director like 2 weeks ago about this situation. at that point, i told her that i still like working at the hospital. but she told me i cant do part time cuz im a new grad, so maybe i can try both worlds full time....
Now, things are just getting harder--and realize if i work full time while studying, i may not be able to keep the grades then lose the scholarship....i dont know what to do. i thought of resigning, but im afraid they'll hate me after spending money on me for 2 months. and im worried about what my family, friends, the staff, fellow orientees, and preceptors would think.....im reallllly feeling down, insecure and....LONELY . need some advice....

Please don't be too hard on yourself! Keep in mind that graduating and passing the NCLEX is just the basic foundation----that most of your nursing education is being acquired now, on the job----and it's HARD work. I can remember coming home in tears more than once during my first nursing job, and dreading having to go back for more the next day. But, looking back on it 30 years later, I can also see that it was valuable experience. In fact, it turned me into a nurse. :nurse:

You're the only one who can decide what's right for you, but I'd strongly recommend that you try to give it a year, or at least six months, before throwing in the towel. If you quit after just a few weeks, it will just make it that much harder to get back into it after you earn the BSN. As important as formal education is, it can't and won't take the place of professional clinical experience, just as riding a bicycle with training wheels won't teach a child the skill of balancing on a bicycle.

Two questions, though: do you have a preceptor who's willing to help you without getting impatient or judgmental? Do you have an orientation program that's flexible for your particular needs, rather than a one-size-fits-all regimen? Those two things can make or break that first job experience. If you think you're not getting what you need, you need to speak up and let your team leader or charge nurse know. Sometimes getting better peer support, or a different preceptor, can make all the difference in the world.

HeatherFeather · Jul 13, 2010

I empathize with you because I know how overwhelming and tough nursing school can be even if you have no other responsibilities in the world. The biggest question you need to ask yourself is what do you want more? Are you willing to give up for temporary relief only to regret giving up your dreams long term, or is nursing really truely not for you?

It is a highly stressful job, but nursing school is 10 times more stressful than working; and I hope you can find relief in knowing that it will get easier. To be honest I prayed every single day, and sometimes even during my clinical shift. Some suggestions to relieve stress are exercise, eating healthy, and not forcing yourself to stay up to study because you do not think you covered all the material. It is important to get a good nights rest, and you are better off going to sleep when you are tired and waking up at 4am in the morning to start fresh than you are trying to stay up all night.

It is ironic that you mention lonliness because I too felt lonely and burdened and just needed a lot of emotional support. I started going to church during nursing school and at first I wondered if it was a waste of time to spend a sunday at church rather than study. I cannot emphasize my next statement enough; you have to take time for yourself; do a hobby you enjoy like playing an instrument, hanging out with loved ones, or just pampering yourself by doing your hair or something. We are human and need a balance in our lives.

carolmaccas66, BSN, RN · Jul 13, 2010

You have to do what is right FOR YOU not everybody else.

Your director should have been more supportive I think. It is a pity you can't do part-time though.

As the old saying goes: something's gotta give, and that will be your sanity I think. I too don't sleep after busy shifts - I usually stay awake most of the night & read. And the more sleep deprived you become, you will make mistakes.

Can you do part-time & lose the scholarship? Sounds silly but you could move in with a friend to save costs, catch public transport, use cost cutting moves. That would give you time to de-stress but you would have to work. Can you get a loan, or loan money off of family? Sorry it's late & I am brainstorming.

Don't give up if this is your dream, but the practice of nursing & study is very, very hard & for me, has aged me prematurely. It is a game for the younger generation I think.

pixiecoloursRN · Jul 13, 2010

Hey, I am a New Grad too, so this advice is not from a long standing RN but here it is anyway: In my perspective, it would be best to drop the program and keep working. A BSN degree is more geared towards Charge Nurse, who is expected to lead his/her team of nurses. You can't really do that without the appropriate experience. As a new grad, I think the most valuable thing is working and learning how to ACTUALLY PERFORM as a nurse. If you can't do that, it wont matter what degree you have. Think quality not quantity. Also, it is hard enough to find a New Grad job right now because so many places want the experience. If you wait a MINIMUM of 1 year to go back to school, that work experience alone can help you find another job later. Just food for thought. Good luck!

Jane_Diagnosis · Jul 13, 2010

If you're unhappy at your work, then I would say pursue your BSN. Dont feel bad if you want to resign from your job. Hospital is a business and it means making profit. If you leave, someone is always there to take your place. Trust me, if something bad happen (God forbid), they can easily point their fingers at you. You never know, by the time you get your BSN, the job market for nurses will be back to normal again. Then you can have more options of finding the right job for you. Goodluck.

mamamerlee, LPN · Jul 13, 2010

Quit the job. Use your scholarship.

WickedRedRN, BSN, RN · Jul 13, 2010

A full scholarship is a blessing in our current economic downturn, but I also think having a good job is too. How is your program set up, online or class time? For me, I worked full time at the hosp and did school full time, but it was mostly online. The clinical time happened in the last year and by then I was more accustomed to a work/school balance.

Being a new grad is HARD. Your learning curve is steep and sharp, but you will level off soon. You do need to take some time for yourself just to unwind from all the work pressure and school. You have to do what is right for you and not worry about what your manager or co-workers will think. A good education will open doors for you later. Perhaps you can look for another position that will allow you to work part time?

swansonplace · Jul 13, 2010

It's a tough decision. But it's great that you were able to get a job and a scholarship.

Experience is so vital therse days, and a good references are also important in the job world.

I also believe that a good mentor makes a difference, and if you don't have one, I would consider posting questions and concerns about your job. This may help you to understand what is happening, and give you different ways to look at it from nurses that have gone through it. Plus, the assistance will make you a more competent nurse in the end.

About the BSN, and the scholarship. It is such a great accomplishment to get it, and the grades are important as you say. What is the name of the school you got the scholarship at? What is the reputation of the school? If it is an average school, like a state school, I would consider going to school part-time and loose the scholarhip if I was sure I would do well at work.

trixie333, ASN · Jul 13, 2010

I'm 59 y.o. and side with the older posters; your scholarship opportunity is very likely a once-in-a-lifetime thing...USE IT NOW....there's plenty of time to be a working-stiff afterwards----from the tone of your post, this job is probably not a 'good fit' with your full-time student status. The posters who say your boss/manager is looking out for the hospital's interests are RIGHT...TRUTH...

You will very likely experience conflict after conflict to keep work and school balanced and possibly end up with a mediocre outcome on both fronts...

If you are so gifted you get scholarships to nursing school, you are probably advanced practice/ academic/ administrative material anyway; so, my advice, educate yourself the best you can...you are destined to be a great nurse, just a little later....and then you will have the wisdom to guide young nurses coming behind you. If you need to work, look for an easier, more flexible position: think clinic, radiology dept., OB practice, employer health, etc. that can accomodate shifting schedules and part-time commitments. You are the future of nursing for the next 30 years...take advantage of you educational opportunities.

Work in Progress · Jul 13, 2010

I would say prioritize the school over the job as well. Scholarships don't come along every day. But no matter what any of us, your family and friends or your boss say: do what you would do if you would have one hundred percent support for your choice from everyone. Life is too short to be making your decisions to please others. Do what is right for you!