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Discussion

Needing Alone Time

Hi,

I'm a relatively new nurse on a busy neurology unit. I work 12 hour rotating shifts (day/nights). This is all that was available at the time so I'm just trying adapt as best as I can.

Thing is, I find that on my days off, I increasingly need more and more alone time. I often neglect to see my friends and family, let alone make time for new connections. Part of it is that I'm tired and just need that time to recuperate, but there's a part of me that feels like I'm missing out on life..

Does anyone else feel this way? Do you need to spend a lot of time alone on your days when you're not working?

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    • Featured Replies

    I will only recommend balance...

    don't tip too far one way or the other, seek balance in your life pursuits

    good luck

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    • Guides

    I used to feel the same way when I was working full-time. Nursing took so much out of me that there was nothing left for friends, a social life. I stopped being fun and all I could think about on my days off was vegging out in front of the computer and eating myself into a coma.

    Most of it was me; I never learned how to balance life and work. The closest I ever came was when I was working very part-time at an LTC last year, and it was because I was working so few hours. When I work full-time, I throw everything I have into the job and then isolate myself at home. I don't know how to do anything halfway. If I'd learned how to leave the job at work instead of taking it home with me, I might still be in nursing.

    I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. All I can say is, don't be like me---learn how to integrate work into your life, instead of the other way around.

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    YES, YES, and YES!

    Uh, could it be because you have 5+ freaking people in your face all day long at the same time each wanting something different? Could it be because you run like a crazed maniac all day trying to do the job of 5+ differfent people? OMG, if I am lucky enough to get a break the first thing I do in that breakroom is shut off that noisemaker (TV!). With little ones at home and my nursing job I swear the most beautiful time of my day and my most favorite thing in life right now is when those ear plugs go in my ears at night and my head hits the pillow!!!!! I LIVE for peace and quiet now. Are you an introvert?

    I can't find the "balance". They only way I can see anything ever balancing is if either my home life gets easier (NOT!), the job gets easier (can't see it ever happening), or I work less (what I am trying to do, LOL)......

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    • Author

    Yeah I lean towards introversion. Oh well I guess this is just where I'm at in life right now. Maybe I will find another type of line of work at some point or work part time...

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    • Experts

    Oh gosh yes. I live alone and on my days off I tend to spend them alone. I enjoy my own company and I needed the peace and quiet to recharge.I have friends and i do socialize but I still spend the majority of my time alone.

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    • Author

    Nice to know I'm not alone needing time to be alone.

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    I feel like so much is expected of me at work that I need a lot more alone time to recover. If I do socialize, I tend to have a preference for other healthcare workers. Or, men in their early 20s. I have no idea why.

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    I struggled a lot with that as a CNA on a busy tele floor. Haven't hit that point yet in the honeymoon phase of nursing, but I'm sure I'll be back soon enough.

    I'm a mild extrovert. I spend a lot of social energy at work, between being "sunshiny" for my patients and coworkers and the general teamwork aspect of working the floor, and I just wanted to be ALONE when I was off work without pressure to do and be a million things.

    Unfortunately, I have a husband and three kids, so alone wasn't reasonable. I fell off the face of the planet with my friends and family who didn't live with me and phoned in my time with my immediate family - all the while just wanting to get in bed and watch netflix marathons or read for hours. I didn't see my own mother (who lives about 15 min away) for 4 months and I didn't even realize it until she brought it up.

    The only way things got better was for me to stop working overtime and eventually quit. So I don't have any great advice for you, except that some alone time is good. Too much isn't necessarily a good thing. Sometimes just getting over it and making a lunch date with a friend is what it takes to get out of a funk.

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    YES! That's totally me.

    I prefer to spend my off days at my house chilling on the couch or even doing chores around the house.

    If I have blocked days off like 2-3, I get all my errands in on one day so that the other two days I don't have to leave the house.

    My husband wants me to hang out with our friends if I have a weekend off and I usually go but wish I were at home. :-/.

    I'm as introverted as they come.

    It's very difficult. You're not alone. Glad to hear that I'm not so weird after all!

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