My parents want me to be a doctor instead

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Pretty much I've been feeling depressed/stressed because my parents don't fully accept my career choice as a nurse. In the eyes and minds of my parents, they envision a light of prestige and raining money wherever doctors live. They grew up with very little and I realize that these are very important issues for them. However, they don't understand that a nursing career can be just as rewarding.

I can't seem to find the words that will turn the switch in their outdated minds from off to on in which they will understand how truly wonderful a nursing career can be. My Dad always emphasizes the fact that if I just study a little harder I could become a doctor if I wanted. Yes, my grades are definitely not up to par with medical school standards, but that's not why I chose nursing. Which brings me to my next point.

They do not realize that my goals can be just as difficult as med school. I plan to attain my BSN then go onto CRNA in the future. Maybe it's because CRNA is an uncommon term to the arrogant public, but even after trying to explain what they do, how much they make, and how difficult it is to get into anesthesia school, they still tell me that being a doctor will be better.

I really respect and care about what my parents say and think, but this is my life. I don't know where I'm going with this. I think this is more of a rant then anything. Has anyone else gone through something similar? If so, how did you get over it?

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"I'm not doing this because I CAN'T become a doctor. I'm doing this because this is what I want, and I am not changing my mind."

Might be best to just not entertain those conversations that are clearly going nowhere. They aren't going to see your side of things until later (if ever), so just shut the circular arguments down before they start.

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Specializes in ICU.

I am so sorry to hear that. I don't think that people realize that besides nurses being very knowledgable about medical care we are with our patients 24 7 and know them inside and out essentially we are their eyes and their ears and offer our interventions and judgement calls can be the difference between life and death for people. The doctors at my hospital have huge respect for the nursing staff they include us in rounds and take into consideration our input on care decisions. The nurses at my hospital run codes, education new residents and have great autonomy. I wanted to go to medical school initially and chose nursing due to wanting to be there for my daughter. I honestly don't think I would find medicine to be as rewarding as what I am able to do for people as a nurse. Not to mention if money is the issue remind your parents that you will have hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans then you go and work as a resident for $10 bucks an hour for 3-4 years.....yes that is what it comes out to when you figure the amount of hours worked! And you will not have a life you will be at the hospital 6 days a week at least 12- 20 hours a day. I would also show them the salary of a CRNA and the salary of a family doctor because they are not to far off! It sounds like your parents need educated on what an amazing career you chose to pursue :yes:

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A male coworker went through this with his family . His family includes a university professor.

He showed them the figures. With minimal OT he makes more than local GPs (after they deduct their overhead expenses). He also has a better quality of life by being able to leave his job at the hospital.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Emergency, CEN.

I understand your dilemma. My mother regularly lies to her friends about who I am and what I do.

You can't live your life to please them. They want what they think will make you the happiest. All parents do, but in the end it's YOUR happiness and YOUR life. I bet their parents gave them the same speech when they were going to school, too. Ask them what their reactions were when their parents disapproved of them. It'll give them something to think about.

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Yall are right. I feel like they won't respect my decision until I actually land a job towards my career and see how well I'll be doing. I'm still their child and they support me, which is why this irks me because I can't do something that pleases them.

NurseOnAMotorcycle, how do you deal with that? Were you ever at a crossroad between choosing nursing and medicine as your career path?

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Emergency, CEN.
Yall are right. I feel like they won't respect my decision until I actually land a job towards my career and see how well I'll be doing. I'm still their child and they support me, which is why this irks me because I can't do something that pleases them.

NurseOnAMotorcycle, how do you deal with that? Were you ever at a crossroad between choosing nursing and medicine as your career path?

I became a nurse. They can take it or leave it. I love what I do and there are plenty of times when they call for my opinion on something.

Look inside yourself and choose what YOU want. If you want to be an Md then go for it. If you want to be a nurse, then don't let anyone else's opinions stop you.

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Specializes in Pedi.

I stopped listening to my parents' opinions when I was about twelve so eh. I make more money than both of them in my 6th year as a nurse anyway.

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I'm on the cusp of starting nursing school, but have a dear friend who is in her 4th year of medical school. All she ever wanted in life was to attend medical school and worked her butt off and sacrificed a lot to get where she is. However, as she is almost done with her 4th year and is applying for residencies, she tells me often(and wistfully) that if she knew back then what she knows now about the medical field she would have chosen nursing school. I too have had people (college professors, family friends who are M.D.'s, etc..) ask me why I wasn't trying for Med school. "You're smart enough to be a doctor," is one quote that stays with me. I just say," because I want a life!" Hopefully you can just let your parents comments roll of your back for now and in time they come to peace with your decision and support you. Good luck!

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Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.
"You're smart enough to be a doctor," is one quote that stays with me.

I'm also smart enough to be a nurse. That takes just as many brains, and fewer years of school.

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My relative who has been an MD for over twenty years says if he had known what med school was like, he never would have done it. You have to move on from your parent's opinions of you and just be your confident self. Don't worry about them.... If they weren't commenting on your career choice they would be commenting on some other aspect of your life. It's what parents do.

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Are your parents paying for your education?

I ask because there's more MD's in huge debt from school than you can shake a stick at.

I think that to become a BSN is a great goal, and you will then be able to work while deciding which path

to then take to continue with your education.

I think the goal here is to discuss that you need to get an undergraduate degree and a job. THEN discuss where to go from there.

As a NP you can have your own practice. As a physician's assistant you have options as well. Same with a CRNA. But you need an undergraduate degree first. And to do something that is financially feasible.

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