My new nurse manager is driving me crazy

[Lilone20]

Hi, in December we got a new nurse manager and it seems like my unit is going down the tubes quickly. Every day she is making us sign a new policy, like a few weeks ago my unit secretary told me read my email because "she would no longer answer any personal phone calls for staff including emergency calls from schools and daycares" I asked her what am I supposed to do, I have a high medical needs son? She said, "not my problem, carry your cell phone." I knew the cell phone policy. The very day after that my manager came around with the cell phone policy that states, "we will not have them at the nurses station". I asked her about the other policy, she said the secretary would do her best. So I called my sons Dr and got a letter stating I had to be accessible by phone for his medical needs, and my manager was sarcastic about it. "I will give the secretary 8 lashes if she doesn't cooperate" (I also have FMLA for him) then this weekend she came in and had us sign a new policy that stated that we could no longer have set days off due to the needs of the unit. (My days off are Tues/Weds) the ones that work scheduled for me) I told her that, it was impossible for me to schedule my sons specialty appointments, PT/OT appointments and daycare if I don't have a set schedule and I started to cry. I have been at this facility for two years, I work charge nurse, and discharge nurse. She advised at that time that I go to EAP because I sounded stressed. The week before that she wanted me to discharge patients and take a full patient load as well. (I work on acute psychiatric unit) I told her that would not be safe.

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

I'm just going to put this quote here:

I'm in the position where I want to find a new job, and have been trying to do so for the last several months. I love what I do; management has torpedoed morale to the point that no one is happy.

[Lilone20]

I love the team of nurses I work with and I love my patients but I feel like my manager is well you can read above, when she recommended EAP I was shocked. She came in on Sat and was writing people up for wearing blue jeans while wearing blue jeans. (I was in scrubs). I don't understand why tearing down your nurses is main a better team?

[Sour Lemon]

If you can't wait it out, it's time to move on. My unit is going through the exact same thing. Our new manager is insulting, inconsistent, unreasonable, etc. At least four people quit just last week, and I'm sure there will be even more to follow. I'm only per diem and have few obligations, so I'm staying put for now. Plus, I work overnight and have never actually seen the beast.

[TriciaJ, RN]

OP, do you have any recourse in your workplace? Like a union? Are your coworkers cohesive or has your manager already divided and conquered? It would be a bummer to have to find another job where you can accommodate your son's needs.

Can you go over her head? To upper nursing management or HR? How about EEOC or ADA? Your son's medical needs might make it appropriate to invoke those entities. If I were you, I might even check out EAP. Tell them exactly why you're so "stressed". They might know which cages you can rattle.

I would bet your manager is someone who clawed her way up the food chain because she can't actually nurse, and is intimidated by those who can. She needs to be run out on a rail. I'm sending you hugs and wishing you good luck.

[Lilone20]

Sadly I work in a non union state, and not like this matters but maybe it does in the eyes of my manager, my son is a foster child who abruptly entered my life in October and when that happened I became not as flexible with my schedule or being able to work over time and covering other shifts. I'm personally very happy with my son and the abrupt change in my life.

I've considered going to HR about all of this but I'm scared it wil make things worse, as I said before I have FMLA for my son, and a Dr's note explaining his needs. But I really don't want to make my manager any more upset with me.

However, I never thought about going to EAP SN and explaining why I was so stressed out.! That maybe a good option. So, how does EAP work exactly? Or if I go to HR how does that work?

[quazar]

Just a thought here......you could approach HR from the angle of disability rights. You aren't afforded many rights as a caregiver, HOWEVER, under FMLA laws, you may be covered to take off the days you need for PT/OT etc., one or two days at a time. Here's a link that may be helpful: ADA Q & A: ADA + FMLA = Job Protections for Parents

At any rate, as the mother to a special needs child, if it were ME in your shoes and I was considering going to HR about this particular problem, I would most DEFINITELY be digging up all disability law I could find, printing it off, and bringing it with me to meet with HR. That might make HR more inclined to listen. Just saying.

Edited to add: this is a very good example of why I will never work full or part time again, only per diem. I cannot afford to have anyone but ME in charge of my schedule, due to the needs of my children. I realize not everyone can take a per diem position due to needing the benefits that a full time position affords, but if you can swing it, I highly recommend it.

Lastly, here is an additional link with information. Best of luck to you. Family and Medical Leave Act - Wage and Hour Division (WHD) - U.S. Department of Labor

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Check your email as often as you feel necessary. Check your phone, in private, as often as you feel necessary. Your special needs with your son is not the responsibility of your employer.

The newly mandated policy of no scheduled days off is reasonable. You need to work according to the needs of the unit. You should have no problem switching with your peers to have those days off.

You will be required to take a full patient load. Document how that is not safe with your discharge duties. Offer a solution , for example, nurses do their own discharges now.

Any manager would refer you to EAP if you lost it and cried , when change is mandated.

Change is hard, use your FMLA wisely.

Never let them see you cry.

[Lilone20]

On my unit we have one nurse who only does admissions all day and one who only does discharges, so I'm not responsible for only dischcharging my patient load, I'm responsible for discharging every patient on the unit who is going home that day which on a busy day would be 8-10. My manager wanted to give me a 9 patient load assignment plus have me discharge the usual 8-10 patients. I understand that I can't dictate which days I have off due to the needs of the unit, but when I asked her to please tell me what my days off would be, she said she had no clue. (That makes it impossible to reserve a daycare spot). I'm only a (0.8). I also understand that my kids medical needs is not my works concern but his daycare stil needs to. Be able to contact me in case he had an emergency

[cleback]

Unfortunately, I feel like the new changes are not unreasonable, per se. Most of the places I worked do not allow set schedules or cell phones (although the no receiving any personal calls seems heavy handed... everyone has a family, everyone can have a family emergency.) I think you may be looking for anther job that can be more accommodating for your family.

Safe staffing is another issue.

[TriciaJ, RN]

Lilone20 said:

Sadly I work in a non union state, and not like this matters but maybe it does in the eyes of my manager, my son is a foster child who abruptly entered my life in October and when that happened I became not as flexible with my schedule or being able to work over time and covering other shifts. I'm personally very happy with my son and the abrupt change in my life.

I've considered going to HR about all of this but I'm scared it wil make things worse, as I said before I have FMLA for my son, and a Dr's note explaining his needs. But I really don't want to make my manager any more upset with me.

However, I never thought about going to EAP SN and explaining why I was so stressed out.! That maybe a good option. So, how does EAP work exactly? Or if I go to HR how does that work?

You can go to HR to ask for help with your problem. Tell the HR person that you understand the needs of your unit and are committed to being a solid employee. However, you do have a family situation which requires a juggling act and you want to know if they are able to work with you. Then tell them specifically what you need from them in order to keep on being a valued employee.

Make it clear that you are there in the spirit of problem-solving. Doesn't hurt to be armed with information on disability rights. Maybe you can't afford to go per diem, but you should still be benefit-eligible at 0.5, if that is at all doable for you.

If HR isn't willing to work with you, ask them how to access EAP, because the situation is stressing you out. (And EAP may be a resource for how to get the accommodation you need.) Good luck and keep us posted.

[Lilone20]

I will do just that, I'm also willing to change the days I work but I need enough warning to tell my child's daycare. The current schedule I'm working is M Th Fr and every other weekend. When I asked if she could predict the new schedule she said she had no idea, which makes it impossible for me to schedule appointments, or hold a daycare spot. I tried explaining that and she ignored me. I'm willing to change my work schedule I just need to know what it will be. They need me to request days off 60 days in advance so they can schedule but they publish the schedule do weeks in advance which gives me no time to make plans. This was not an issue when it was just my husband and I, but now that I have a child I have to have a daycare spot for it is a problem. (Thus the lack of flexibility I used to have and not working doubles each weekend)