My Instructor Used To Be My Nurse

[hikeclimb44]

Several years ago, long before I was in nursing school, I was a mental health inpatient at a local hospital. Fast forward into nursing school, and there’s a new nursing instructor at my school who I immediately recognized as one of the nurses I had while I was an inpatient. During one of our classes recently, this instructor shared a story of a patient she had several years ago, and I immediately knew that patient was me (the details were spot on). The instructor did not reveal any identifying characteristics that would alert my classmates to knowing that story was about me, however, it made me extremely uncomfortable. I don’t know if that instructor even realizes that the patient was me, and I’m not sure if I should say something. I don’t really want to disclose this to this instructor, but I also can’t stand to hear someone speak poorly of me during a time when I was unwell. That experience several years ago was also very traumatic for me and is something that I have been trying to move past. Anyway, this has been such a weird situation, and certainly one I never thought I would have to deal with. Thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

[Davey Do]

An understandably uncomfortable situation, hikeclimb.

I, too, have been professionally been spoken poorly of by being mentioned "anonymously" by my supervisor in a meeting of about 150 employees. I got passed it by reassuring myself that, okay, that was me, it wasn't the best thing I could have done, but in that specific circumstance, I did the best I could to my ability.

Some points I request you consider, hikeclimb, is the possibility that the instructor does not remember you and spoke unknowingly freely. Or, the possibility that another patient's behavior was so closely comparable to yours that you are not actually the patient in the scenario. 

Behavior often manifested by those who are dealing with traumatic events can be interpreted as aberrant- "hear someone speak poorly of me"- when the account could be a perception from an objective, or subjective, viewpoint.

Once we understand that others' perception of us does not define us wholistically, and that we all do the best we can under any given circumstance, the negative power diminishes.

We get past these negative events by being okay with who we are, no matter who says what about us behind our backs, or to our face.

The very best to you, hikeclimb.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

There are many patients with similar situations and diagnoses. Your instructor has had many patients. It's very hard to remember a specific patient.

I can't imagine an instructor speaking poorly of any patient in a classroom situation. They would just be describing a scenario, in order to teach the proper nursing response.

 

[Emergent, RN]

I had a clinical instructor who was also working as a travel nurse in the ICU of the local hospital. She took care of my uncle who was hospitalized there, and told the whole class his last name, and his diagnosis and course of treatment. Apparently he had told her that his niece was in the nursing program there, so she did preface the story by telling the class that he was my uncle.

I hadn't even known he had been in the hospital, I didn't come from a very close family. The whole thing made me very uncomfortable. In retrospect I should have reported her but I was intimidated being a first semester nursing student. I couldn't stand that woman, she was a you know what that starts with a B.

[Davey Do]

5 minutes ago, Emergent said:

I couldn't stand that woman, she was a you know what that starts with a B.

Belinda?

Hey! That's my real wife you're talking about!

[speedynurse, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

I think all of us have had an experience where we were talked about in a negative and inappropriate way. I know one time I was out of work from a health condition I had dealt with since childhood. I had only told my manager why I was out of work and was on intermittent FMLA. When I came back, one of the charge nurses was talking about me, apparently bringing up the idea that I had been making up being sick. It bothered me because it was truly a situation I had no control over and devastated me. I couldn’t wait to get out of that department.

If this does teach you one thing, it is to be careful about what you say and to not jump to conclusions. That old quote about being kind because you don’t know someone’s journey.....yep, that has a ton of truth to it.

[JKL33]

3 hours ago, hikeclimb44 said:

I also can’t stand to hear someone speak poorly of me during a time when I was unwell.

So she was inappropriate in describing the patient scenario?

[hikeclimb44]

Yes, she was. She described the situation from a very stigmatized point of view, and even used a few derogatory terms when describing the patient (again, this patient was me, so it was not pleasant to hear) I don't think sharing the particular scenario was beneficial to anybody's learning.

[hikeclimb44]

Thank you for sharing, I guess I'm not the only one who has been in this weird situation. I may bring it up to her at the end of the semester.

[TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN]

I can imagine how hard that would be to listen to. I would caution you, even though the details may sound the same, to assume that she was talking about you. Believe it or not, a lot patients have very similar experiences and reactions, and depending on how long your clinical instructor was a psychiatric nurse, she could have come in contact with countless patients. The problem is that if you confront her, regardless of whether or not you are the patient she referenced then the situation could get a lot more complicated. Unless she gives uniquely identifying details out that violates your privacy, legally, then I would let this go regardless of how painful it is to hear.

I do think we've all been there in some shape or fashion, and it feels as though we're on centerstage but it will blow over.

What kind of derogatory things was she saying?

[JKL33]

10 minutes ago, hikeclimb44 said:

She described the situation from a very stigmatized point of view, and even used a few derogatory terms when describing the patient

It could be addressed from that standpoint (the inappropriate presentation) if you choose to do so.

Though I haven't experienced anything like what you describe, I'd like to think this is the advice I would go with:

2 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Once we understand that others' perception of us does not define us wholistically, and that we all do the best we can under any given circumstance, the negative power diminishes.

Again, it isn't for me to say what is moving forward vs. moving backward, but it seems like conquering nursing school and not letting some talker shake you is a very good idea. ??

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

33 minutes ago, hikeclimb44 said:

She described the situation from a very stigmatized point of view, and even used a few derogatory terms when describing the patient

It is unfortunate that someone in the position of teaching the next generation of nurses is putting forth statements about patients and conditions that could negatively influence the attitude of those future nurses. I try to assume good intent of people, and I certainly don't think that she would have spoken of you personally if she did realize that you were in the room. As others have pointed out, when you've been practicing a while you may see many similar patient scenarios and perhaps her story was more of a generic patient story. However, that does not explain the derogatory terms.

I would probably not say anything at this time and see how things go through the semester. You may find that it's not worth your time and effort to speak with instructor and put yourself through reliving a difficult experience. You've clearly moved on into a successful place, I'd suggest focusing on your moving forward in a positive direction. However, if you find at the end of the semester that your feelings are still unresolved and you need to express this, you could approach her then.

Good luck!