Basically, I'm my own worst enemy. I'm too proud to brown nose, and brown nosing is vital in my work place to get ahead. I'm frustrated with myself. I'm able to be a phoney with the patients and their family, but I can't do it with HR and the CNO. I know I'm not going to get the diabetic educator job because I haven't brown nosed enough, and I'm up against some real comformists. It's frustrating, but I just don't seem to be able to brown nose to save my own life.
I see others do it, they really know how to play the game. It's not that I'm rude to higher ups, but I refuse to be a yes man. I'm too honest. Ugh, I wish I could bring myself to do it, but it seems to go against my nature.