My inability to brown nose is holding me back in my nursing career

muffie, RN · Sep 23, 2007

just keep your nose clean

medsurgnurse, RN · Sep 23, 2007

my inability to pucker up and kiss a** has affected me in the same way.

Piglet08 · Sep 23, 2007

Not having heard how you express yourself, I don't know exactly what you mean by "not brown-nosing". There's ways of saying things that are honest but also diplomatic. And are you as honest with yourself about your own shortcomings as you apparently are with your higher-ups about theirs? What is your goal when communicating? Do you want to show everyone that you're right, or do you want to come to a solution?

You might be in a really political environment, and maybe it's not a good fit. But if this is something you keep coming across no matter where you work, you might want to look at what you're projecting when you're being "honest". And I'm not in any way judging, because this is very close to my own situation. I'm re-educating myself on how to communicate effectively, and changing some reflexive responses that aren't getting me what I want, and it's a struggle, fersure.

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Sep 23, 2007

Unfortunately, I'm set in my ways. I turned 50 this year, so it's really hard to change my hardwiring. I think I'm feeling a ton of self-doubt right now, even though many things are right in my life.

It's just that I know that my ability to communicate with patients and win their trust is totally exceptional. My bedside manner is totally disarming to my patients. I'm able to intuitively sense where they are coming from and meet them where they are. I'm great with families too. I know I would be best for this diabetic ed job because of these strengths.

Yes, where I work it is incredibly political, and I admit it, I'm a poor politician. It's frustrating, but the reality is that my workplace is extremely political and I haven't played the game properly. I could kick myself!

leslie :-D · Sep 23, 2007

i so understand where you're coming from.

i too, am exceptional w/my pts and families.

not so w/tptb.

and i hate authority.

because of this, i cannot b.s. or "schmooze".

i'm very comfortable w/who i am and am not willing to change.

i know you want this job.

it's truly sad when human beings need to bleed to succeed.

it's all about how you play the game.

you'll always have your integrity.

stay true to your self.

ultimately, it really is most important.

leslie

caliotter3 · Sep 23, 2007

Those of us who fit your description should start our own club and network with each other for job prospects, references, advice, etc. My direct supervisor once told me point blank: "You don't play the game." I guess I never will, however, I certainly know how to make great efforts in my care of patients. Throughout life, in other lines of work, as well as nursing, I have observed that while the politicians are busy brown-nosing, we are left with the bulk of the workload. Somebody has to do the work. All talk and little work results in patients that are not cared for (or about). At least my conscience is clear in that respect.

anonymurse · Sep 23, 2007

You pays your money and you takes your choice. The main thing is to know it's a choice and know what it costs up front so you can not only be free of regret in the future, but enjoy, if not relish, your decision in years to come. I passed up the well-deserved promotion of a former career that way and years later still don't have the smallest regret.

deeDawntee, RN · Sep 23, 2007

You don't know for sure that you didn't get the job, correct? I wouldn't jump to conclusions. It really depends how insightful the people doing the hiring are and what qualities they consider important. You just don't know.

I don't think we should ever give up who we are to be what we think others want us to be. If my boss needs to have her/his rearend kissed then who really wants to work closely with that person anyway? I refuse to be that way myself. Luckily, in nursing, we are in a lot of ways our own bosses, so I believe that the more independent, self-sufficient person is valued, at least by managers with some intelligence.

Wait and see, jlsRN, I recall your post on that woman who you spent all day bending over backwards trying to help with her diabetes and situation...that alone should get you hired. I would bet that your bosses know how committed you are to education and helping people cope with diabetes. I would bet you DO get the job.

:yeah: :yeah: :yeah: you can be my nurse anytime!

MzMouse · Sep 23, 2007

Wow, do I understand where you are coming from. I care about my patients and am kind and caring no matter what. But I just can't BS and kiss rear end where management is concerned.

IMO, smart people see past the BS. I would rather be myself, even if it hurts me sometimes.

Ms Kylee · Sep 23, 2007

I can't either.. and the nurses hate it cause I won't cowtow to them and put their patients ahead of all of my others. My playing field is equal unless a patient is dying or throwing a code.

turbohound · Sep 23, 2007

Wow, reading these stories leaves me a little concerned. I've just left corporate america afor the same reason, and I was hoping that nursing would be a bit more altruistic. Perhaps I'm a bit naive, but I was hoping that it would just be about helping people. Darn it, it scares me to hear stories like this.