My husband is in nursing school

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My husband is in his 2nd quarter of nursing school and the first quarter went great! I supported him emotionally, helped him with some of his online class work, and took care of all house related things. We had a great plan and we both stayed focused. Now that has changed this quarter he does 8 hr study groups and goes to the bar with those same group of people. I haven't been introduced or invited to go out to the bar with them. Is this normal for nursing students? Should I be worried and how do I continue to help and be supportive during the next 20 months?

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

NO - This is not "normal". Married nursing students are not expected to behave as though they are single. Drinking and socializing will not help academic performance nor will jeopardizing his marriage. I encourage you to establish clear boundaries and expectations.

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Thanks HouTX does it matter that a couple others in the group also have spouses and children? They seem to be doing it too and their spouses are okay with it. I don't want to be the "party pooper". I know that divorce is high among nurses so I don't want to cause problems so soon into this.

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I was single in nursing school (and an older student), but some of my classmates were married (many had serious boyfriends/girlfriends), and some had children at home. I never met any of the spouses or boyfriends/girlfriends; they showed up for graduation, but that was it. They were not included in any of the socializing among the students, and it would have seemed v. weird and awkward if they had tried to insert themselves.

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Thanks elkpark. I was wondering if that would be awkward to meet everyone. Especially if everyone was talking about classes while having a drink. I would have nothing to contribute. I'm an artist not a medical mind. The major issue is we are both 30 and up until now we have hung out with all the same people even all the people at his work know me and we get together. Nursing school kind of sounds like a high school clique. That a new and challenging thing for someone our age.

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Specializes in ER, Trauma, Med-Surg/Tele, LTC.

My nursing school friends and I generally included our other friends/significant others whenever we hung out socially and they would become our friends too. Even when us classmates would discuss nursing things, there were other non-nursing people around to keep each other company.

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It sounds like I should wait for an invite if other spouses are involved. I'm starting to realize I maybe a single yet married woman for the next 20 months. Does anyone know of a "non nursing student" support group lol!

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Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.

You guys have kids?

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No kids yet. Other people in the group have kids, but not us. I promised to put that on a back burner until he has a nursing job. Men...I think they would be happy to wait until 40 to have kids if our bodies could do that. HA!

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Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.

Then it's an easy decision and I believe you already know what you need to do. It's my opinion that there is nothing to be gained, academically, by "hanging out" with your fellow nursing students; only distractions.

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He's the boss of our relationship so there's unfortunately there's no "telling" him to do anything, but yes I agree that it is very distracting. I'm just wondering what the motivation is. If it is truly helping him I DO NOT want to keep him from being successful. I don't want to be another unsupportive spouse that all the nurses talk about on these treads because I really do feel for you guys.

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Specializes in hospice.

I guess I'm the odd man out in not seeing a problem with making friends and decompressing with them sometimes. Are married people suddenly not allowed to have their own friends now?

Is this an everyday thing, once a week, or occasional?

Being irrationally possessive won't be good for your marriage either. The frequency, amount he's spending, and how intoxicated he gets will help determine whether you are overreacting or not. Also, whether he's open about it or tries to hide it.

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