graphicdesigner22

Everyone's relationship is very different about what they accept and what they cannot live with. Anyone would become worried and have questions after their relationship changed over night because of a new priority like school taking over. It puts a spotlight on insecurities and makes you have questions about motive. Especially if you have not experienced the type of school like nursing to relate. Thanks for being a sounding board everyone. Great advice both nursing related and otherwise. Sorry "THATguy" if you were offended by my question. "Overnighters" is something I would not think is appropriate way to spend your time once married, but I don't know you and shouldn't have made a quick judgement about you.

Your right that wasn't appropriate. I think you nailed it. Thanks for the advice.

Overnight! Yeah I would have flipped out on that. You had a wife at the time and she was cool with you sleeping over with other woman? Dd you end up flirting and/or sleeping with any of your class mates in the process?

I'm asking strangers advice because I'm not a nurse, nursing student or medically minded I'm trying to separate my emotions from the facts. I want to factually know what you guys went through so I can determine if my husband is capable of giving our relationship priority during this time and if this really is just 20 months of this behavior then we will go back on track.

I get all day Saturday with him and 2 nights at home, but he studies those two nights. So realistically 1 day a week. All other days and nights he is working, at class, or at a study group. He is getting good grades on exams so I'm not going to ask for those to be cut back.

Thanks Rbeck911! I think he is having a jack ass moment for sure. I used everyone's suggestions to talk it through and while he is willing to have me meet other students at some point when it's appropriate (I'm happy that I can put faces with names eventually) it sounds like the celebrating will continue after each exam to blow off steam. While I'm not thrilled that there is no compromise to that decision he has made for himself I think I have enabled that by taking care of everything so in turn he has extra time to play. I think I'll add some more back on his plate for now and let him take care of himself for a while. It doesn't matter if you are a doctor, nurse, fast food manager or celebrity; you cant use anything (like school) as an excuse to have someone take care of you completely while you go out and play. We aren't twenty year old college students in a platonic relationship. There are boundaries.

I wondered that too. I asked him if they were just hanging out and talking most of the time and he says they aren't so I believe him. I'm not being selfish, but I could use his help and if he has time to casually socialize and casually drink then I would prefer to put his effort into our lives when he can. I'm equally busy and with him in school there is no option of a cleaning lady. Does it get easier being married to a nurse once they are done with school?!?

I would like to host a study session at our house, but first of all one of the girls has it at her house already because it's a nice newer house and big enough for everyone to be comfortable. It sounds like her husband is very wealthy from the way my husband talks. Second, We have a starter house with projects all over the house (drywall, paint cans, tub in the kitchen). My husband has no interest in hosting a study session because of the state of the house. I'm fine with it now since they all seem to like going over there, but it's a 50 minute drive there so that surprises me he would even consider it. He wasn't going to offer up the fact the ladies bought him drinks, but I questioned how much he spend because he was there for 5 hours so I was anticipating a huge tab.

That's a good idea to meet some new people too that are in my situation. We have had the same friends for so long that it was a shock and felt out of the blue for his typical behavior. I'm playing catch up because I had no idea he was friends with anyone. He was pretty grumpy the first quarter and didn't want to talk much about school with me. I'm just now learning about the cohorts and how you have to rely on other students to get through it. I was unprepared because the first quarter was nothing like this. I'm not condemning him, but I thought I should educate myself so I'm more prepared for the next 20 months.

Thanks everyone for your input! It sounds to me like there is no "norm" for how a nursing student will manage their relationships. It's all over the board. I hope I can keep being supportive and not drive him crazy. Should have investigated these things before he went. Had no idea what I was getting myself into!

Just one time. The girls from class wanted to buy him a couple of drinks to celebrate that they finished their exam after the 8 hr study session the day before. They went out for 5 hrs which is a little much. He's an intense person so everything is done big! They did all act like it was their first time drinking and it was a frat party. Came home drunk, the whole bit. He's a really good man this is just how it is with the pressure of nursing school I think. Did you all do similar things?

He's the boss of our relationship so there's unfortunately there's no "telling" him to do anything, but yes I agree that it is very distracting. I'm just wondering what the motivation is. If it is truly helping him I DO NOT want to keep him from being successful. I don't want to be another unsupportive spouse that all the nurses talk about on these treads because I really do feel for you guys.

No kids yet. Other people in the group have kids, but not us. I promised to put that on a back burner until he has a nursing job. Men...I think they would be happy to wait until 40 to have kids if our bodies could do that. HA!

It sounds like I should wait for an invite if other spouses are involved. I'm starting to realize I maybe a single yet married woman for the next 20 months. Does anyone know of a "non nursing student" support group lol!

I'm a nursing student's wife and I'll tell you that it's no fun on either side of this process. This is also my second marriage so this definitely scares me to death to hear all this talk about nursing students and divorce. My only advice to you is both of you need to walk in each others shoes. I have been both supportive and a brat to my husband, but I love him incredibly and try to understand what he is going through. It's way better to wait until after you are done with this type of schooling before having a relationship at all. I wish I could have met my husband after he was already a nurse. That's how bad it is for the non-nursing student.