My clinical instructor gives me anxiety - advice?

[Hellostudentnurssee]

Yes, we all have (or have had) those instructors that are from hell. We're lucky if we have just one. My clinical instructor is the known b*tch in our program. There were rumors of her making a student cry and trying to fail her over a discrimination issue. She's tough. I've gotten to know her - she's VERY VERY smart. She plays straight from the books (at exactly 2.5 cm haha) and is very observant to tiny details to tiny things people say to each other. I do respect that she is a smart instructor but as a person, she's.... in another world. She doesn't give constructive criticism but teaches through negative reinforcement. She may say things calm but it's like a slow, tortured death. We got along alright (for the most part). Most of my classmates (now) proclaim that "oh she's so nice" but I believe they say it out of fear. It's like an abusive relationship with your partner- the one day you don't get verbally or physically abused and everything is "normal", you consider them "nice". She just seems like such an unhappy soul. I'm completely opposite. I'm an easygoing person, happy, confident (most times, not all the time though), etc... I like to take care of myself to keep myself happy and meditate. I've seen a therapist who says I'm an empath and a very intuitive and sensitive person to people's energies. My other instructor saw this in me and we chatted about it (she also believes in the same thing).

During clinical (with the bad instructor), I have been on EGGSHELLS. I've been doing everything to adjust myself to her. I've instinctively known what to do to get on her good graces; needless to say I've been around her alot, consulting w. her, asking questions, etc... last week, I felt that I just wasn't happy. I was a different person but still myself. I would wake up unhappy and my body and soul did not feel right, didn't feel like the "happy heart" I normally have. Yesterday, I went to another unit to shadow a nurse. I was away from my instructors and classmates. I had an EXCELLENT time with the nurse who I was with. I was relaxed and did more than I was expected in this "shadow" experience. I was supposed to meet my instructor after my "shadowing" and hearing her name and knowing it, my pulse increased and I could literally hear my heartbeat in my ear. My stomach was tied in knots with my mouth being dry. I don't let anyone intimidate me but my body does not feel right about instructor. Funny that happened because when I went up, she was confrontational, "where are your assignments??! I don't see it!! this is not good!!!!" My heart literally dropped and I could it feel it pounding in my chest. Guess there was a mis-undersanding and SHE did not see my submission... anyhoo, how can I protect myself from her?

[12leakec]

My clinical instructor in High School was not very nice at all I just stuck through it. She knew what it would take to pass my CNA test so I just decided that I would act like I liked her just to pass the class. GOOD LUCK :) :) :) :)

[Jackfackmasta, ASN, RN]

I've had instructors who who really nice and some everyone told me were mean and blah blah. I have found from experienced it was the "mean" ones that actually shaped me the most in school because I would take their criticism and change it so that they won't criticize me again. They helped me become more organized and helped me think more critically.

The really nice instructors did not challenge me. Try not to be so judgmental of her and LISTEN to what she's telling you because there is reason behind it. How you respond to her criticism may also help. Appear receptive and Listen. I've had 3 "mean" instructors and had it not been for them I would not not be ahead of the other students in my class in terms of caring, picking up patients, assessing, being organized, documenting, and staying caught up. My professors weren't on my hind tail this semester but they were on others. I got to say my pink fanny pack is smoking :)

[Hellostudentnurssee]

I don't think I'm being judgmental. I've had tough teachers who are not student favorites who I got along with very well. As a person, she rubs me the wrong way, no matter how receptive I am to her. I'm humbled and I appreciate what she says but her energy is just off. I feel more drained being around her than the clinical experience, itself.

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

I had an instructor like that in nursing school who, after the course was completed, asked me if I would like to come work with her. WHAT?? This is an endurance test. Do all the required work and force yourself to smile. This too shall pass. If she is truly discriminatory, complain to the Dean

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

You have written about this before how much longer do you have with her? You have to understand that there are people that you are unable to work with and yet you must learn how. Be pleasant. Especially in a temporary situation like this, learn to be cooperative, keep your head under the radar. Seek her advice on how she would like things done. Bide your time this too shall pass. No one ever said nursing school, or life, would be easy......do it the way she wants it for now as you can change it in your own practice later. There is always that one teacher/instructor/visitor/patient....that will make your life miserable.

Smile! Never let them see you sweat!

[Cuddleswithpuddles]

Whenever I am confronted with similar personal conflicts, I think, "I cannot change her but I can change myself." That is the premise I start from.

Instead of saying, "This professor gives me anxiety" I say, "I have anxiety when I am with this professor." Subtle change of vital importance. Instead of being a passive recipient of negative energy, I affirm that I created that anxiety reaction. I formulated that reaction and it is not working so, therefore, I need to formulate a new reaction.

Also, open up to the possibility that your classmates are speaking truthfully and DO like her. When nursing students are alone and among each other, there is no motivation to lie about that sort of thing. Remove yourself from the ill feelings you have about this professor and ask, "What are they seeing that I don't?" Maybe there isn't anything. Maybe she is indeed as horrible as you think she is. But you owe it to yourself to reshape your perspectives and reactions in a way that does not involve your heart nearly exploding out of your chest.

Good luck!

[systoly]

You'll get to work with a lot of folks who's energy is off after you graduate. While it's no fun to deal, it might be better than having the milk and honey overflow while in school only to be suddenly confronted with several unhappy souls after graduation.

[Cuddleswithpuddles]

I also wanna add this personal experience.

I had a professor in my nursing program that was pretty universally disliked. She was an unapologetic hard-@ss. She wrote me up... twice... I think. But it was not until I actually followed her instructions and saw the lessons I have learned through her seemingly archaic ways that I started to feel grateful to her. I came back to the same school for my RN, had her as faculty, graduated, came back and shook her hand. I told her that I see the method in her madness, and I am forever grateful.

[llg, PhD, RN]

You wrote that you had seen a therapist in the past. Maybe it's time to talk with a therapist again -- so that you can learn how to work with people you don't particularly like.

From what you wrote, it sounds more like your problem than hers. She doesn't seem to have done anything to hurt you, been unfair, etc. (which isn't to say she won't do so in the future). So it's not a matter of learning "tactics" to prevent or win a battle. From what you wrote, it sounds like you need strategies to remain calm and at peace with yourself when you are around someone who you don't trust or with whom you just don't "click." Maybe your therapist can help you with your anxiety problem.

[rngolfer53]

I don't think I'm being judgmental. I've had tough teachers who are not student favorites who I got along with very well. As a person, she rubs me the wrong way, no matter how receptive I am to her. I'm humbled and I appreciate what she says but her energy is just off. I feel more drained being around her than the clinical experience, itself.

I don't mean this to sound harsh, but---get used to it. You'll encounter Pts, families, bosses, colleagues and just about everyone else in the world who will rub you the wrong way on occasion.

Figure out how you can deal with these kinds of people and situations. Anxiety is part of life and part of nursing. To thrive in either, you have to learn to live with the discomfort at times, and focus on what needs to be done.

[SillyStudent, ASN, RN]

Had the same thing in school. I think we all get a clinical instructor that is a little scary.

Do your work, be prepared, and give her no reason to doubt you.

Good luck