Yes, we all have (or have had) those instructors that are from hell. We're lucky if we have just one. My clinical instructor is the known b*tch in our program. There were rumors of her making a student cry and trying to fail her over a discrimination issue. She's tough. I've gotten to know her - she's VERY VERY smart. She plays straight from the books (at exactly 2.5 cm haha) and is very observant to tiny details to tiny things people say to each other. I do respect that she is a smart instructor but as a person, she's.... in another world. She doesn't give constructive criticism but teaches through negative reinforcement. She may say things calm but it's like a slow, tortured death. We got along alright (for the most part). Most of my classmates (now) proclaim that "oh she's so nice" but I believe they say it out of fear. It's like an abusive relationship with your partner- the one day you don't get verbally or physically abused and everything is "normal", you consider them "nice". She just seems like such an unhappy soul. I'm completely opposite. I'm an easygoing person, happy, confident (most times, not all the time though), etc... I like to take care of myself to keep myself happy and meditate. I've seen a therapist who says I'm an empath and a very intuitive and sensitive person to people's energies. My other instructor saw this in me and we chatted about it (she also believes in the same thing).
During clinical (with the bad instructor), I have been on EGGSHELLS. I've been doing everything to adjust myself to her. I've instinctively known what to do to get on her good graces; needless to say I've been around her alot, consulting w. her, asking questions, etc... last week, I felt that I just wasn't happy. I was a different person but still myself. I would wake up unhappy and my body and soul did not feel right, didn't feel like the "happy heart" I normally have. Yesterday, I went to another unit to shadow a nurse. I was away from my instructors and classmates. I had an EXCELLENT time with the nurse who I was with. I was relaxed and did more than I was expected in this "shadow" experience. I was supposed to meet my instructor after my "shadowing" and hearing her name and knowing it, my pulse increased and I could literally hear my heartbeat in my ear. My stomach was tied in knots with my mouth being dry. I don't let anyone intimidate me but my body does not feel right about instructor. Funny that happened because when I went up, she was confrontational, "where are your assignments??! I don't see it!! this is not good!!!!" My heart literally dropped and I could it feel it pounding in my chest. Guess there was a mis-undersanding and SHE did not see my submission... anyhoo, how can I protect myself from her?
she probably loves you as a student and just wants to give you that extra push to do more for yourself, if your confident in yourself just keep doing what your doing and do not change your nursing ways for her. hang in there
A Blooming Rose
20 Posts
ahhhhh, and the 'get used to it' advice never fails to appear.
Very helpful