Moving Out and Working Part-time

[NewTexasRN]

After years of subjecting myself to verbal, emotional and physical abuse I have come a final decision and I need advice and support.

I'm 23 years old and I have one more year left in nursing school. I live with my mother, which has been extremely difficult for me. First, let me say that I've lived with my mother most of my life except when I went off to college.

It's difficult to explain, but most of the 23 yrs that I have lived on this planet, I have been emotionally abused. Part of the reason I stay at home is for nursing school is because our school told us that they don't recommend working full time.

But after the years of control for example last week my mother was yelling at me, telling me how to drive, who I should talk to, and what friends of I should keep, I had to step outside of myself and ask, "Why am I subjecting myself to this?" My mother thinks that because she pays most of bills she has a right to abuse me.

My question is, I've decided to finally move out and get my own place. I will at least have to work part time while I'm in school. How do the other nursing students balance work, school and family life?

This will be a big step for me, but it's the right decision. A step towards empowering myself.

Thank You.

[TazziRN, RN]

I'm so sorry that you've had an unhappy life at the hands of someone else. Kudos to you for doing something about it.

You can do this. In your favor you have the fact that you are single and childless, so there will be no one else clamoring for your attention. Check into scholarships and loans, there are a lot of them out there. Nursing school will take up a lot of your time, there's no way around that. Just keep in mind that it will not be forever, and there are huge rewards at the end.

Hugs to you, my girl.

[crazensweet]

HI......sounds alot like my "Father"... but anyway....How have you been doing in the nursing program? I am going to assume well since you have a year left to go... by no means no one should subject themselves to any kind of abuse....but if there isnt anyone else that you can stay with for the remainder of the year do that.... If not could you handle staying with your mom until you graduate? If you have no other choice you might want to DRASTICALLY LIMIT THE AMOUNT of time she sees you. Stay out until shes in bed wake up and and be out the door before she gets up. Leave very little time for her to open her mouth (unless she wakes you up to provoke you). If she asks "i dont see you anymore?" "Simply state "mom, its my last year and its really hard" and when you graduate RUN , RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope this helps:yeah:

[rita359]

You can work part time and make it and probably should.

[Atheos]

Wow, apparently a lot of us share parents that must be related. If you move out, things will be more difficult but in the long run you will be happier.

You are 23, it is time to put her in her place. Another reason it will be good to move out is many emotionally abusive parents will try to maintain leverage. If you stay at home or they help in ANY part of your life, they will try to hold you hostage by threatening to withdraw those things.

I would start working and save enough to move out. It's only a year. There are plenty of places on the internet that list available rooms for rent and/or roommate options. Not quite sure if I can put them here as it may be a TOS issue, but I will find out and if I can I will post one. IT really does not take too much to shelter and feed yourself for a year. This would also be a good time to get work experience in a healthcare related area as they are very flexible and support nursing students.

Verbal, Emotional , Physical, and Sexual are all abuse. They all leave scars and they all hurt. Please get out...

[Jules A, MSN]

I'm sorry you have been going through this in addition to the stresses of nursing school. Could you find a room mate to help with expenses? Don't worry about working it is something that you can do, many of us did without any problems. You will need to be super organized and most every minute of your day will be accounted for but its not forever. Wishing you the best.

[husker_rn, RN]

I am sorry you are going through this but I am also proud of you for realizing it's time to take care of yourself. While in school I worked part-time but had a wonderful support system. Check with your school and several institutions as well as your BON. After XX amount of classes you may be considered more than qualified as a CNA....and may be able to work as a CNA. If you are already a CNA { as many schools require }, maybe you could work out of an agency; they will work around your school/study scedule. Just remember it's okay to take care of yourself first. Good luck in whatever you decide.

[casi, ASN, RN]

I moved out of my parents house about a week before I started my first semester of nursing school.

First thing I did was got a roommate. One bedroom apartments are just too expensive if you aren't working full-time, but you can find a lot of really nice 2 bedrooms reasonably priced.

I don't know what kind of experience you have in the working world, but try to find a job that is flexible with your school hours. Healthcare jobs are awesome for this.

Also if you can, take out extra student loans for school. It's more debt later, but it's worth it for now.

[RNperdiem, RN]

Many if not most, of the students in my nursing school class worked at least part-time.

My own sister worked a full time job at night and went to school during the day. It was not an ideal situation, but she kept her grades up, paid the rent on her own apartment and graduated.

Don't move out until you have the job and place to live lined up. Another sympathetic relative might be a contact.

[NewTexasRN]

Thank you so much everybody! I've been feeling down a lot lately and your support means a lot to me. I work as a PCT per diem at a local hospital. I get paid really well. So I should be able to rent a room and pay cheap rent. I'm looking for a car. I need a cheap car that will last for at least a year.