Moving home with the parents for school- better than debt?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Hello my friends!

Here is my situation. I am starting nursing school in the end of August (this will be my second degree). I am 25 years old, and I have been living with my boyfriend happily for the last 2 years. Before that, I lived at home and was absolutely miserable. I hated it. A large part of this is due to my dysfunctional family (there is alcohol abuse involved), and since I have moved out I have been much more emotionally healthy.

I thought I would have some help from other relatives to go back to school and to put towards my living expenses, but just found out that I will not get any help towards living expenses at all. My boyfriend has his own things to pay for, and I wouldn't expect him to pave my way anyway- this is my career, not his.

If I try to stay where I am, I will have to borrow about $50,000 total in student loans. If I move home, the number will be drastically reduced to $30,000 total (maybe less).

So..I am at a complete loss as to what to do. Is my emotional sanity for 2 years worth the $20,000+ interest I will have to pay back for the next 10-30 years? I know that nobody can know the answer but me, but I really am at a loss. I've made pros and con lists and I just don't know what to do. I could really use some ideas, advise, or stories about what other people did (or are doing) in school.

Thank you!!:redbeathe

Specializes in LTC.

I acctually moved out of my parents house 2 weeks before I started nursing school. It was the best decision I've made.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg.

Do not move home. Take out the loans and keep your sanity, health, and educational focus in check. It sounds like you are very happy with your boyfriend....why disrupt life when it's going well? Loans STINK but most people have them. Good luck.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

I'm with the communter...

I've lived away from home for 9 years....and unless I was going to be sleeping next to the river....I would NEVER go back.

I'm a very private and independent person....and I wouldn't compromise that....

I think YOU know what you should do....and we ALL give you permission to do it..

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Well, the consensus of the other responders seems set: Go into debt and live with your boyfriend.

I marvel at what is considered good advice.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

yeah, I know. That whole getting an education thing, getting a job in a profession that can pay well, and living in a stable environment are all highly overrated concepts.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.

Is there any possibility of working for a facility that will assist you with tuition? Could you work as a unit clerk, or train in phlebotomy or as a CNA and work for a hospital or clinic that has tuition reimbursement?

Even non-medical employers have tuition reimbursement, and some of them employ nurses in areas such as occupational medicine.

I'd look into all possible avenues of assistance before taking out loans.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

I am normally totally against huge debt, and especially against borrowing for living expenses in most cases, but I definitely wouldn't suggest anyone moving into what they know is a toxic environment. My advice would be stay with your boyfriend but definitely get a job and work while in school to at least keep your debt to a minimum. I agree with santhony44. Not working while in school doesn't make sense to me unless it isn't cost effective due to childcare costs etc. Wishing you the best.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.
Well, the consensus of the other responders seems set: Go into debt and live with your boyfriend.

I marvel at what is considered good advice.

She didn't ask about the morality of living with the boyfriend, that is a decision she already made. She asked about the advisability of moving back to what sounds like an intoleralble living situation. We all basically say no.

As for the debt, that is taking responsibility for your own life and career. There are alternatives to massive debt, but being miserable for two years during a stressful course of schooling is not really a good one. I'm with the others, try other means to avoid the debt (grants, tuition reimbursement, work while in school, a job that pays back student loans after graduation). It isn't like moving "home" would avoid debt altogether.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatric ED.
So..I am at a complete loss as to what to do. Is my emotional sanity for 2 years worth the $20,000+ interest I will have to pay back for the next 10-30 years? I know that nobody can know the answer but me, but I really am at a loss. I've made pros and con lists and I just don't know what to do. I could really use some ideas, advise, or stories about what other people did (or are doing) in school.

Thank you!!:redbeathe

IMHO, you can't place a price on your sanity. I say this from experience. I once stayed in a job that preyed on my emotional/mental state and I wound up having to quit and be on medication for a few months. I learned after that, that no amount of money is worth feeling like you're going out of your mind.

So if you think it will really be emotionally unhealthy for you, I say take out the loans; I don't think you'll regret it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Debt is easy to gain and hard to pay off.

You never know what the financial future will bring but debt-free is always easier to deal with than debt-laden.

Move back in with the 'rents and save, save, save!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

This topic is right on time for me. My 19 year old daughter is moving back home with the 'rents to save money. The boyfriend whom she's been living with isn't too happy, because he's going to be homeless next week. But, he's not expressed any interest in helping to pay the 6K they racked up in debt. But then why should he? it's not in HIS name. And he thinks they should have "joint custody" of the car We gave Her. She's just started on her pre-reqs for nursing. Sorry, just had to vent. I love the girl but she's got awful taste in men. To the OP, if your folks are that horrible stay with your boyfriend. If they're just irritating, move home, save your money, and study at the library. Good luck.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in psych, ltc, case management.

I really appreciate everybody's avdice. I realized, once I began reading responses, that it was probably silly of me to open up this very personal, and difficult decision to people who don't know the whole story- however, that isn't anybody's fault here except mine! I don't blame you for the knowledge you could never know.

I'll fill in a few blanks-

I am going to a private 2 year school. Yes, that much debt for just 2 years. Why aren't I going to a community college? Waiting lists, and the school I am going to had the highest scores on the NCLEX in 2007 for the US. I feel like it's worth the money.

I am working while in school, part time.

I have not been able to find any free money beyond what I've found already, tuition reimbursement, etc.

The expense numbers, unfortunately, are not going to change right now. I have to work with what I have.

As for my relationship, I have been with him for 4 1/2 years and living with him for 2. We are not quite ready for marriage (due to career chasing, school, etc.), but discuss it as a serious option. I am not worried about his cheating on me, or anything. I am worried about never getting to see him because of school, work, etc. and how that will affect us. I am worried about just plain missing him when I move out, and letting go of this home I have built with him for the last two years.

He happens to put financial security in a very high place, but also would love to live with me. He has made his support known to me, no matter what I decide to do known.

This might give you a better window into my life.

In spite of the many people suggesting I stay, I am currently leaning towards moving home. Money isn't everything, but I am feeling like I might be able to suffer through 2 years in order to severely reduce my loans for the next 30, and also have more money for a house and wedding with my boyfriend when I escape school!

He has offered to make things easier by moving into a 1 bedroom, giving me a key, and allowing me free reign to come and go. :loveya:

And so, perhaps between the option of staying at "his" place, a library to study at, and a pair of earplugs to sleep with, maybe it's worth putting up with my parents. Not to mention the perk of the laundry room and someone cooking for me occasionally!:p

I am giving myself a little more time to think on this though, so if you want to add anything I am all eyes.

Thank you again to everyone!!:yeah:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment