move for job opportunities and reluctant spouse

[sungrl01]

I'm in a dilemma. I moved to a smallish town and jobs are definitely not a plenty. There are only two small hospitals in town and only hiring for part time. I work in a clinic for only one month and half and in that time our Doctor got fired and new management company came in and questioning all of us employees and what we do and making comments that I cost more than the LPN that works with me. But the job I came from replaced me with two part timers. I have applied to places around this small town area with no job hits. But amazingly I hear from hospitals all over the country who are ready to give me a job. I am the main breadwinner in our family as my spouse works part time job at hospital. I know he is from here and we just bought a house almost two years ago and his family is here but the work situation has changed. None of my extended family is here but he doesn't want to move by them or anywhere. I don't know if I'm going to have a job tomorrow or not..not with business being bad and new management in there. Move for work or keep praying I'll get a job around here? I don't want to stay in this town and have two small children to support. Anyone gone through this with reluctant spouse? Or situation like this?

[sungrl01]

Yes we have two young children 3 and under.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

Yes we have two young children 3 and under.

He still needs a reality check. If you lose your job, how are the bills gonna get paid? I was dating a guy once, we didn't have any kids, & he got PISSED at me when I got laid off from a NH. It wasn't my fault at all, the census was low so the last hired was the first fired. He was working as a CNA, there was no way we could pay our bills on his salary. I know it would've been twice as hard if we had kids.

Your husband needs to realize this before you *do* lose your job (I hope you don't). But if you are that scared every time you go to work, I would be looking for other jobs & places to live. Because God forbid you lose your job, at least you have another one set up.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I can understand your spouse's reluctance to move away from his family, and to take a hit trying to sell a home that you bought just two years ago. However, if you lose your job and he can't or won't step up to become breadwinner, there isn't going to be much choice. A two hour commute is miserable, and working from home with two little kids seems like sheer misery. Is it possible you can get hired at a job that really interests you in another city? I've known a number of people who live in the next state (or even neighboring country) and come to work for three or four days in a row, then fly or drive back home for their days off. Some of them rent rooms from other staff, stay in cheap motels or crash on someone's couch. Your husband will have to deal with the kids on his own while you're gone. He may step up to that challenge, or he may decide that selling the house and moving to your job is the better option.

Another option is travel nursing. Some folks take travel assignments close enough that they can commute. I don't know if there are options like that where you live. You might be able to find a travel assignment four hours or so away and take their housing stipend to rent a room there, and go home on your days off. If not, one thirteen week assignment with you gone ought to clarify his options for your husband!

[DowntheRiver]

Also, you don't have to be near an insurance company's headquarters to work for them. A LOT of nurses telecommute for RN jobs at insurance companies. Honestly, I see posts all the time for BCBS Anthem, Humana, and United and you can live anywhere. In fact, one of those companies is my parent company and I know for a fact you can live anywhere in the US and telecommute as a RN. Just look on Indeed.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

If the situation becomes dire, you can turn the situation into a commuter marriage where you are working in a faraway city in another part of the state (or even across state lines) during the week. You get to see the husband and kids on weekends.

No one wants to be away from their family, but sometimes this choice is preferable to foreclosure and abject destitution. Just some food for thought...

[vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN]

Ask your spouse for his suggestions on solutions to remedy the problem.

If he has none, reiterate your solution (relocating to an area where you've been offered a job) and ask him to get back to you in a few days/weeks with a solution.

If he has no solution, yet doesn't agree to your suggestions, then you know that the problem lies with him.

I truly hope, however, that he does have another solution that you can try.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Wrench Party]

Sounds like we have a few options here:

1) Status quo- you're an RN, husband is a tech, don't make enough money, stay in small town. You're trying to get out of this because there's no jobs.

2) Increase the pesos- husband needs to buck up, take the NCLEX again, pass, start working as an RN. What are this hang ups? Test taking anxiety? Resistance to change? Assumedly, he made it through nursing school, so can't be that horrible with tests.

Maybe your husband's tune will change once he becomes an RN and realizes he can start making some serious $$ in some big cities, especially working full time?

3) Nuclear option- you take a full time gig, take the kids, move to a big city and work full time. Can you literally and emotionally afford to do this? Do you have any family that could help you out? (Childcare, being a single parent, probably going to end your marriage, etc.)

I know there's more to life than money (friends and family) and intangibles asociated with community, and I'm sure your husband sees that in his town.

But...I also spent the majority of my childhood on the working class/living paycheck to paycheck side of things, and saw what a strain that put on my parents' marriage. I know it's what motivated my mom to go back and get her ADN, so she could increase our standard of living. I can imagine any parent would try to improve the economic opportunities for themselves and their families.