Most stressful moment as a nurse?

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Excluding anything that led to a lawsuit or information that would be inappropriate to share with the message board, what is the most stressful situation you ever experienced as a nurse?

Specializes in Med-Surg/Peds/O.R./Legal/cardiology.

I once had a doctor who was about to operate on the wrong side (hip fracture) He was adamant that he was on the right side and after looking through the chart, the consent said opposite side, the radiologist report said opposite side and his own H&P said opposite side, and the ER record said opposite side. He told me to "just mark through to the chart and cross out the other documentation and put the side he was operating on. I flatly refused. He refused to give us a time for a "time out" and was asking for the knife. I told the scrub tech NO! and said "I think we should call xray to confirm. He said "NO! We don't need xray! So, I picked up the phone and called xray to OR stat. HE WAS LIVID!" It turns out that he was indeed on the wrong side! He offered no apology. This incident went to the sentinel event committe. The doctor did not speak to me for months and later screamed at me for a minor unrelated event (in my face like a drill sargeant). This happened several months later. I threatened to report him to to an attrorney for work place environment (as he also called me an ignorant stupid nurse. What he didn't know is that I save his butt from a medical malpractice law suit! He never even thanked me. Professional slander would have also be appropriate and he called me ignorant stupid nurse..

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health.
Right now is my most stressful moment as a nurse. All my wife wanted for Xmas was to go and visit her mom(she has Alheimer's and lives her older who relocated to SC within the last 18 months or so) so I sent her there. My wife is blind and has multiple medical problems including being the world's worst migraine sufferer. She had the usual H/A's etc but either late Xmas eve.early Xmas day she had a really bad one(all of her H/A's were always bad to her) with N/V which is not out of character sometimes(she was sick in bed and never got to spend Xmas with mom anyway). US Air wanted $600-700 to fly her home early so we had to crash some low level credit cards to get airfare and was due to fly home on Friday. Unfortunately she collapsed and was rushed to ER, and is now on a vent in a neuro ICU. In 22 yrs it has never bothered me looking at a sick pt, but then again there was no emotional attachment as my wife and I have. This is absolutely killing me and is moving me towards wanting to seriously give up on nursing as a career. I work in an intense med/surg ICU and am sure I would not melt down taking care of my next vent pt. Sorry for the long winded message but I am just so lost right now and trying to hang to whatever I can that we(she and I) will get over this and continue to be together(as I always tell her, "we will grow old, and fat together baby"). Flaerman

My friend, I can personally understand "how" that would be difficult for you at this time....to care for others who may remind you of your dearest loved one. Not only is this a time of crisis for her (your wife), but for you as well. You are an excellent and compassionate man...this indeed shines thru on your post....and no doubt, a wonderful nurse and a devoted, loving husband. But, we all have limits, my friend. Due to the nature of your current nursing field (M/S ICU), you are surrounded by intense moments that either "remind or blur" the nurse and husband in you. So, in this, I understand your difficulty...and your need to lessen the pain. Crisis can do this.

You are now questioning "if you have it in you" to remain a nurse due to these circumstances. It is a crossroad that some of us must face...due to the nature of our business. I had a similar crossroad of crisis(es) several years ago...and had to come to some major life decisions of my own then...for myself and for those I cared for and loved. The ache of a man is indeed a hard thing...and, it shouldn't be ignored...since many of us tend not to reach out, but hold it in. One of my choices then was to simply change fields to a different area of nursing...which made a world of difference for me. This is one option you may want to consider for yourself....to reduce the intensity in your life.

I am very honored by the sharing of your heart to us here and admire your courage to reach out to us in your own personal ache. We all have limits...and there is no shame in acknowledging and owning this. The priority now is to yourself and to your wife..."a couple in extreme crisis". And it is appropriate to begin thinking about "what do I need to do now for us" as a result of it...in order to get thru this and for you to be there for her when she needs you the most. So, some decisions will need to be made by you...to assist you both. But, do not think that decisions have to be all black and white. And do not think that decisions have to "all be made right now at this moment." Even in crisis, we have time...if we allow it...to work thru it and to think it thru more clearly, honestly. Give yourself some time. Continue to reach out and discuss. Embrace the support that is offered to you during this time. Listen to what others have to say...exploring your options. Pay attention to your own groanings and needs as well.

So, is Nursing still an option for you? It is but a question for you to answer...in time. But before you do make a decision like that...consider all your options.

My friend, I wish you my very best during this difficult time...and in your decisions that you will need to eventually make. I do commend you...for the love and devotion that you hold towards your spouse. Believe it or not, in this day and age, many do not have this precious gift. I am honored by your presence. And I have no doubt that you will eventually do what is best for you both...as a loving couple...career decisions and all.

Extending out my prayers and hugs to you both,

Wolfie

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

flaerman, I'm so sorry for what you're going through and I hope it gets better for you. I'm sure it would honor your wife to continue to take care of patients, treating your patients with the care you'd want a family member to get.

My most stressful times in nursing were those first cuople of years as a new grad on med-surg. I moved out of state after a year and it seemed I started all over, because it was a different type of unit. That high ratios, the sick patients, feeling like a total failure, it was tough, but I survived.

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I once had a doctor who was about to operate on the wrong side (hip fracture) He was adamant that he was on the right side and after looking through the chart, the consent said opposite side, the radiologist report said opposite side and his own H&P said opposite side, and the ER record said opposite side. He told me to "just mark through to the chart and cross out the other documentation and put the side he was operating on. I flatly refused. He refused to give us a time for a "time out" and was asking for the knife. I told the scrub tech NO! and said "I think we should call xray to confirm. He said "NO! We don't need xray! So, I picked up the phone and called xray to OR stat. HE WAS LIVID!" It turns out that he was indeed on the wrong side! He offered no apology. This incident went to the sentinel event committe. The doctor did not speak to me for months and later screamed at me for a minor unrelated event (in my face like a drill sargeant). This happened several months later. I threatened to report him to to an attrorney for work place environment (as he also called me an ignorant stupid nurse. What he didn't know is that I save his butt from a medical malpractice law suit! He never even thanked me. Professional slander would have also be appropriate and he called me ignorant stupid nurse..

You did that jerk a huge favor and he thanks you by crapping on you. What a low life. Had you let him operate on the wrong side, I'm sure he would have blamed you for it.

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Specializes in Med-Surg/Peds/O.R./Legal/cardiology.

Mike, no question! I had no intention of having my orifice in court with his!! That REALLY burned my butt up! The hospital administrator did send me a thank you note (per snail mail) thanking me. I think the sentinel event committee reprimanded him severely from what I was told by my Chief of Surgery. (In strict confidence)

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Specializes in ICU, now in Palliative Care Home Health.

Coding my coworker.

She drove herself to work feeling cruddy, sat down in a chair, and then went down. We worked on her for over two hours. Got her back at first; she was talking and joking with us. We did everything--everything!--we could, but she'd had a massive MI and died that night, surrounded by her friends and coworkers.

I developed PTSD, wound up being hospitalized for 3 weeks, and was getting better. Then I was caring for a coworker's father when he coded, I had a flashback and panic attack, and got fired for being "unreliable."

I had my first code in my new job last night, and now it's 4am and I can't sleep, thinking about all of this.

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Specializes in OB, LTC, ER, MS.

Flaerman..you will be in my thoughts

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Specializes in Emergency, Nursing Management, Auditing.
Coding my coworker....

I had my first code in my new job last night, and now it's 4am and I can't sleep, thinking about all of this.

OMG. This must have been terrible for you. I can't even imagine... :icon_hug:

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

IntoTheUnit,

I hope things get better for you. What you have gone through is very rough. All the best to you. Hugs

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Specializes in Utilization Management.

My most stressful moment as a nurse was when working agency at a LTC and a patient went berserk. No, he didn't hurt me physically, quite the contrary, he decided that I was the only person he could trust, and held my hand in a death grip as we marched around the facility looking for spies and secret agents. Another nurse kept trying to reach the on-call doc, but he never called back. Meanwhile the patient was terrorizing the staff and marching me around the unit, trying to break out of the "concentration camp" he thought he was in.

If anyone tried to talk him out of his mission, he'd get extremely violent. He was very strong and agile. One CNA had to go to the ER and was off work for weeks because of this patient's attack on her. At one point, he grabbed a nurse's scissors and was trying to stab her with them. (Even though they were bandage scissors, they did bruise her arm pretty badly.)

I was not physically hurt but I was pretty traumatized by the event.

The patient's bizarre behavior was caused by a well-meaning doc abruptly DC'ing all of his psych meds. The on-call mistakenly thought someone else was on call that night, and eventually the facility medical director was called and the patient was shipped out to the ER. But those hours before the patient was taken out were a few of the most awful of my life. I could never be a psych nurse.

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Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.

About 6 years ago my very first day doing charge (no orientation) our regular charge nurse had a family emergency so I got elected.

The "big" doctor at the hospital, the "big" money producer doctor, decided that he was going to ignore me when I told him a patient was critically ill. The primary nurse was already in tears, she had called him and he ignored her too. The family members were surrounding the desk very anxious that something be done for their loved one. This patient was having dizziness and chest pain. BP was low but HR was above 250bpm. By this time it had been going on for about 30 minutes. I called the doc one last time and told him that if he did not respond that I was going to call administration. Well within 5 minutes there he was on the floor. He had been in the hospital the whole time, in his office. It was closed as it was Sat or Sun. He started yelling at me to the top of his lungs. I said just look at the telemetry. He said holy s*** and called anesthesia stat to come in for a cardioversion. Then went back to yelling at me. He asked the unit secretary in my presence to give him a form so he could write me up. I then asked her to give me one to write him up for patient abandoment. He started yelling again and then left the floor. Then I fell apart and started squallling. He asked administration to relieve me of my charge duties permanently and that I was never to care for another one of his patients. They turned down his request. It turned out that administration stood behind me and told him he needed to apoligize to me. Of course he didn't. Administration said they had complaints from 3 of the 4 hallways that a doctor was yelling and cursing a nurse and that the nurse was being polite regardless of his ranting. Whoa, what a day!

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Flaerman, my thoughts are with you during this troubling time.

As for me and my most stressful moment as a nurse--there have been way too many. I have taken pause in my career in nursing over the last two years. I relocated to a rural environment and a quieter pace. I had to. I have coded my co-workers, seen one to many hatchets in the head, the work of the knife and gun club, bad things happening to good people, the hayham that an adult can inflict on a child, "freak accidents", empalements, patients jumping out the hospital windows to their death, a patient pull out a gun and kill his nurse, heard one too many death bed confessions that to this day slip into my dreams. I could go on and on! I am one wacko quackco--call it fried or burnt out, but I have just seen too much and am paying for it now. I have become the nursing eqivilant to the TV character "House". I have worked shifts that I couldn't go home after--I had to go to the bar--we called it "choir practice". Shame, but true.

So, I am growing hay with my little 89 year old dad and working in a quiet rural hospital and am having less nightmares. But, they still come.:o

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