Most stressful moment as a nurse: spouse on vent + decision making

[flaerman]

Right now is my most stressful moment as a nurse. All my wife wanted for Xmas was to go and visit her mom(she has Alheimer's and lives her older who relocated to SC within the last 18 months or so) so I sent her there. My wife is blind and has multiple medical problems including being the world's worst migraine sufferer. She had the usual H/A's etc but either late Xmas eve.early Xmas day she had a really bad one(all of her H/A's were always bad to her) with N/V which is not out of character sometimes(she was sick in bed and never got to spend Xmas with mom anyway). US Air wanted $600-700 to fly her home early so we had to crash some low level credit cards to get airfare and was due to fly home on Friday. Unfortunately she collapsed and was rushed to ER, and is now on a vent in a neuro ICU. In 22 yrs it has never bothered me looking at a sick pt, but then again there was no emotional attachment as my wife and I have. This is absolutely killing me and is moving me towards wanting to seriously give up on nursing as a career. I work in an intense med/surg ICU and am sure I would not melt down taking care of my next vent pt. Sorry for the long winded message but I am just so lost right now and trying to hang to whatever I can that we(she and I) will get over this and continue to be together(as I always tell her, "we will grow old, and fat together baby"). Flaerman

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

may this help comfort you: the dash movie

from your writings, appears you had a fantastic loving relationship and those memories ---the dash-- will help sustain you in the future.

[Nurseboy1]

Flaerman

You have my deepest thoughts, prayers, and sympathies.

[Justhere, BSN, RN]

Flaerman I just found this post today, and am praying for you to be able to handle you grief in losing your bestfriend and loving wife. Maybe your story will help another family that you will meet in the future, and you will be able to help them through the difficult decision in taking a family member off life support. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[GrumpyRN63, ADN, RN]

Your wife was truly blessed to have you as her husband, nurse and health care proxy. What a loving, compassionate, selfless gift you gave to her. May God bless

[wayunderpaid]

As you mourn the tragic and sudden loss of your dear wife, may God allow you to remember the wonderful memories of times past, and keep your faith strong. I am so sorry about your loss. I would be completely lost without my wife. I can understand your sense of loss. Let us know if we can do anything for you.

Wayunderpaid

[dream'n, BSN, RN]

I am so sorry. Please know that we here at Allnurses send you our support and friendship, and our thoughts are with you.