Most stressful moment as a nurse: spouse on vent + decision making

Nurses General Nursing

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Right now is my most stressful moment as a nurse. All my wife wanted for Xmas was to go and visit her mom(she has Alheimer's and lives her older who relocated to SC within the last 18 months or so) so I sent her there. My wife is blind and has multiple medical problems including being the world's worst migraine sufferer. She had the usual H/A's etc but either late Xmas eve.early Xmas day she had a really bad one(all of her H/A's were always bad to her) with N/V which is not out of character sometimes(she was sick in bed and never got to spend Xmas with mom anyway). US Air wanted $600-700 to fly her home early so we had to crash some low level credit cards to get airfare and was due to fly home on Friday. Unfortunately she collapsed and was rushed to ER, and is now on a vent in a neuro ICU. In 22 yrs it has never bothered me looking at a sick pt, but then again there was no emotional attachment as my wife and I have. This is absolutely killing me and is moving me towards wanting to seriously give up on nursing as a career. I work in an intense med/surg ICU and am sure I would not melt down taking care of my next vent pt. Sorry for the long winded message but I am just so lost right now and trying to hang to whatever I can that we(she and I) will get over this and continue to be together(as I always tell her, "we will grow old, and fat together baby"). Flaerman

So sorry about your ordeal. Be on Angels wings my friend....

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I don't know what to say. I was in your position, many years ago, regarding my brother, and it was the hardest decision I had to take part in. I am so sorry you're going through this, and I wish you God's blessings at this difficult moment in your life.

Sometimes it sucks to be a nurse, because we know too much.......

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You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

It is good your family is taking time with each other now.

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Specializes in Emergency, Nursing Management, Auditing.

I'm sorry you're going through this right now... I can't even imagine. Good luck to you, you and your wife are in my thoughts.

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Specializes in M/S, Onc, PCU, ER, ICU, Nsg Sup., Neuro.

Just a quick note to everyone regarding my wife. Life support was discontinued at 5:30 PM on Wed(01/23/08) andd my dear wife and best friend slipped quietly into that good night at 11:50 PM surround by her loving family(myself, her 3 children, older sister and favorite neice and nephew). I had to do was right for her, it hurts she is gone but she is in a better place and will never have another headache, GI problem or SOB. Traching her and a PEG on long term vent support would not be what she wanted along with total L sided paralysis, severe speech/cognitive deficits, and inabilty or servere swallowing deficit would not be the way she want to live either(being blind she'd already lost one sense and had enough of a disability and she always told me her greatest was being on a vent and not being able to speak). I fly home to Phoenix later today to try and piece my life back together, also gotta get my "babydog-EMMY" from my co-worker(she is Sharon's semi-retired guide-dog who doesn't travel well so on "mom's" trip- so she stayed home with "dad"(she's always been as much my dog as Sharon's). I'll figure out what to about returning to work and being an ICU RN again(if I can without thinking of my wife every time my pt's are vented). I want to thank everyone who has responded with much needed, kind words of support which have been a great help to me during this time. This was a time for me where nurses did not eat their own and showed great class.

flaerman

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God, you know how much pain this man is going through. Thank you for allowing him to spend the years with one of your beloved children even though the time was too short. As Flaerman continues on with his life, draw him near to you and let him know that he is not alone. Give him the courage to face the challenges of life and the ability to offer his care and support to others that he meets. Guide him on this life's journey and help him to find peace the peace that you have promised. Amen.

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Specializes in private duty/home health, med/surg.

Flaerman, I am so sorry to hear about your sudden tragic loss. My thoughts are with you and your family as you grieve. It must have taken a lot of courage to make the tough decision you did, but it sounds like your last gift to her was to honor her wishes.

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I am so sorry, Flaerman. Thank you for letting us know. I pray you and all who loved your wife find comfort and peace.

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Specializes in Rehab, Med Surg, Home Care.

So sorry for your loss. I hope you will find the peace you deserve.

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I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.

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Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

Oh my. I am so truly sorry. What courage you had together. What strength.

Please take the time you need now for yourself.. lots of it. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, and to grieve.. for as long as it takes.

Bless you and yours.

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Specializes in L&D, M/B.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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