Most RN's first borns?

[lvs2nrs3535]

Hi everybody,

I have a question and PLEASE dont anybody blast me for typecasting, this was not MY statement, it was a LCSW I was friends with. She claims that a huge % of nurses are first born females of alcoholic fathers. Something to do with the fact that as the first born in dysfunction family of origin you are a caregiver from the get-go. Now my father was not an alcoholic, but I am a first born. I was wondering how many of us are first-borns. (Also, she said this to me a long time ago, and I have lost touch with her, so I cannot ask her where the heck she got her information was) I was just starting school at the time and didnt really fight with her about it, just kind of gave her one of the Hmmm, thats an interesting opinion.... answers. Also, she meant it as a compliment, that we take a difficult beginning and build on our strengths and turn them into a career.

So, how many first borns are out there?

KristyBRN

[Lightning Bug RN]

I am the first born, both my mother and father are alcoholics.

[busylady61]

I am a newbie who is planning on going to LPN school next year so I apologize if I am asking an obvious question.

What does ETOH mean?

P.S. I'm first born in a somewhat dysfunctional family... mom was the daughter of an alcoholic father and she was still dealing with it when I was growing up. Her entire universe was her kids, disproportionately so, to the point that she didn't have friends or outside activities of her own.

Feeling a little guilty for triggering the empty nest syndrome after I went off to college, I somewhat took on the emotional and financial caretaker role for her when I got into my 20s. I moved back to my hometown to be closer to her. I don't really regret it though because she ended up dying of cancer when I was 30. When I look back I am thankful that I stayed close by her side and stayed close friends with her during the few years we had left. After she died I moved away and started to carve out my own path.

Very thought provoking thread...I still miss my mom so much sometimes, I try not to think about it. I think I'd be grateful if I could be burdened with the caretaking role again if it meant having her back. So I guess that fits right into this whole theory.

[Doog]

ETOH = Alcohol

[fromtheheartRN]

#3.

First/only female.

No ETOH

[mmurphy]

I was told a long time ago that the complete opposite is true. First borns are rarely nurses, however a lot of physicians are first born children. The explanation was that this is due to the authority of a first born child, and the subserviant nature of following children.

[ortess1971]

Oldest child by a lot(7 yrs older than my sis, and 12 yrs older than my brother) and my dad is an alcoholic. Still have a good relationship with him though-he was/is a good dad despite his problems. I forgave him long ago. I also have heard of this theory and think there is something to it. Children of alcoholics tend to be good in a crisis and sometimes will create drama just so they feel like they are in a "familiar" environment. I know-I've done it!:uhoh21:

[SmilingBluEyes]

Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't have much contact.

I only feel bad about it this time of the year when it's the holidays ... and all you hear about is family, family, family ...

Oh well ... hubby is my real family.

Yea, I have finally come to the conclusion they are sick and were making me sick, in the process. I was depressed and always fearful of the next nasty email or phone call from home, criticizing me for some stupid thing or another. My mother has become a bitter, mean, (young) old woman at just 60. Somebody I want to spend ZERO time with anymore.

So after her last cruel phone conversation with me, I cut her off. That was 2 years ago. And I feel soooooo sooo much better.

She was sucking the joy out of my life and marriage. Since leaving them behind (my parents), my dh and my marriage is better, more peaceful and joyful. Like you said, he is my family really, and has been for over 18 years. I am lucky and finally get that enjoying life is what I was put on earth to do!

I am not alcoholic, nor is my dh, thankfully, and I HOPE the relationship with my kids turns out much better than the one w/my parents and me. It's hard, cause both want to know why we never see gramma and grampa on that side. The teen understands, but the little one, not.

The holidays are better, too. I don't go home, don't call, dont' have to hear my parent's sharp words or often-drunkeness during the holidays. Yes, I am sad in a way----family is what it's all about. But we have two kinds of family: the one we are born with, and the one we MAKE. I choose the one I made.

AH well glad to know I have a kindred soul out there who gets it.

deb

[NickiLaughs, ADN, BSN, RN]

I am the first born, my father (to this day) is a drug addict & alcoholic. My mom left when i was young. I had a 5 year old brother and a very jacked up childhood.

[Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN]

Hmmmmm....

First born of alcoholic father, here. We have not had a contact for decades.

I have a close friend who has a great family. I'm very envious.

I don't have a close relationship w/ any family members. Like SBE & lizz, my wonderful dh is my family now.:redbeathe

[adrienurse, LPN]

I am the middle child of three. 4th generation Caregiver: Midwife--> X-ray Tech--> Nurse ----> Nurse. No ETOH in the last 2 generations and none since I was born.

My Mom was an RN - First Born - Dad alcoholic.

[UKRNinUSA, RN]

I'm a first born. Maternal grandfather was an alcoholic. My dad is not an alcoholic as my mother took her own advice and didn't marry "a man who drinks". I am a recovered (hopefully) codependent (apparently a factor in the predisposition to playing a caregiver role).

[jms79]

Im the baby of the family only female. First born (male) is a doctor. No alcohol abuse in the family