Most ridiculous patient requests?

[AOx1]

The thread on customer service has me wondering, what are the most ridiculous "customer service" requests you've had? Off the top of my head, mine are a request for a pedicure and massage, and for me to go rent them a movie.

[LynM75]

"I don't know if everyone is just skirting "the request" or take it for granted. I have recieved hundreds of requests from pts who are confused and not, young and old, male and female to rub "it", get in bed with them, and in every crude way can be thought of to pleasure them sexually. My standard answer has become "I have a headache.":)"

And my standard answer to this is to tell them "Sorry we are not a full service salon..."

[9livesRN, BSN, RN]

Pt says please remove this foley it's so deep it's poking my a*hole. Nothing wrong with the catheter but guess where the oxymeter was???

Male pt asked if I could order him pineaple pizza and pay for him, he'd give me 100 cash so that the wife did not trace it, mind you he was DM in for ketoacidosis glucose at 580

Pt said not to read his heart strips because if we read his heart we could see his secrets and all the women he cheated with!

[Crux1024]

I got a strange one once... the patient asked that I go "funk" myself..

Needless to say I didnt... LOL.

[gentlegiver, ASN, LPN, RN]

I'd have told them "You can't afford me as a cook. You think your medical bills are high, you have no idea what spending money is about until you've hired me as a professional cook. And the food isn't all that great, mostly canned stuff heated up, but thats what my personal time costs you."

While she probably couldn't afford to pay me for my time in the kitchen, I have to admit I am a very good cook (and have even published a cookbook), I often bring in food for my co-workers so she knows I know my way around a kitchen. I'm just amazed that she refused to take no for an answer.

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

While she probably couldn't afford to pay me for my time in the kitchen, I have to admit I am a very good cook (and have even published a cookbook), I often bring in food for my co-workers so she knows I know my way around a kitchen. I'm just amazed that she refused to take no for an answer.

OMG. I want some.

<_>

>_>

Oh no, did I just do the same thing your pt. did? Ah well, I still want some.

[ZippyGBR, BSN, RN]

But since those requests are so common I would have to say that the strangest request was most recently when the young female quad in my care screamed me into her room to pick her nose for her. I was abit torn about this request but used a q-tip and gently cleaned her nares (that's how I charted it).

totally not a strange request from a tetraplegic patient , especially one whose SCI is at a high level (C5 or above)...

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

"i don't know if everyone is just skirting "the request" or take it for granted. i have recieved hundreds of requests from pts who are confused and not, young and old, male and female to rub "it", get in bed with them, and in every crude way can be thought of to pleasure them sexually. my standard answer has become "i have a headache.":)"

and my standard answer to this is to tell them "sorry we are not a full service salon..."

and mine is "that's a really old joke, and not so funny after you've heard it a thousand times."

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

and mine is "that's a really old joke, and not so funny after you've heard it a thousand times."

i cut people off mid sentence when they start with the "gay male nurse" jokes. my warning to them is:

"you can sit here from now till you are a day away from dying and you won't come up with any gay male nurse jokes i haven't heard at least twice already, so save yourself the time."

if i don't like them, i also add "and its probably not too much longer for you so, there are better ways to spend your time".

[General E. Speaking, RN, RN]

One of our cardiologists ask me to get his patient "a pillow... STAT!!!"

(He is one who frequently abuses the word STAT because most of his orders are written STAT even if it is not necessary to do them STAT.)

I called him on it and said, "Seriously, doc? A STAT pillow? No, I won't." He seemed a little embarrassed when he realized that his request was ridiculous.

Another time, this doc was lounging at the nurses station with his feet on the desk. Other nurses had catered to him by bringing him drinks. I walked by and he said, "Hey, how about a little black coffee?" My response, "No thanks, I just had some." I walked on as his mouth was hanging open...

[Quark09]

Hehehe... I stumbled on this one while perusing the thread on "Things you'd love to say to your patient"

I did have a (19-year old) post-circ pt in the PACU who, almost immediately upon waking, asked me to retrieve his cell phone to take a picture of the doc's handiwork and send it to his girlfriend

[NurseLily22]

I had a patient not too long ago take a shower and put on fresh new PJ's. Her mom had brought the PJ's and they were 10X too big, so my patient asks me to go home and bring some of my pajamas for her to wear since "we probably wear the same size".

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i had a patient not too long ago take a shower and put on fresh new pj's. her mom had brought the pj's and they were 10x too big, so my patient asks me to go home and bring some of my pajamas for her to wear since "we probably wear the same size".

this has to be in contention for most ridiculous patient request! it's right up there with the patient who requested that we take care of his wife (alzheimer's) while he was in the hospital -- she could have the next bed. but don't actually admit her because then we'd have to pay.