Most ridiculous patient requests?

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Specializes in ER, ICU, Education.

The thread on customer service has me wondering, what are the most ridiculous "customer service" requests you've had? Off the top of my head, mine are a request for a pedicure and massage, and for me to go rent them a movie.

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Specializes in Trauma ICU, Peds ICU.

SAH pt. 4 days post coiling on dysphagia puree diet wants a burritto at 2am. I explain the kitchen closes at 1900 and I don't have any snacks appropriate to their diet orders. Pt. asks how I'm going to eat. I explain that I bring a lunch for myself. Pt. demands my lunch.

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Specializes in MED/SURG STROKE UNIT, LTC SUPER., IMU.

usually it is something like "would you run out real quick and get me a beer and some cigaretts?" Yeah, I'll just leave my other 19 patients and go fetch something for you right now! Uggh people can be so dense.

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

On your day off, cook me a meal for my family & guests and deliver it at 2PM. We want it hot!

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Specializes in M/S, Travel Nursing, Pulmonary.

Actually, it was a request made to my CNA, but the pt. was mine. The story is kinda two-fold:

32 yr old male, works at a local grocery store as a night stock person. In with cellulitis of the left forearm. This was his 5th or 6th admit in the last couple years. He recently had a PICC inserted for long term IV antibiotic therapy. Social Services had been in his room that morning to discuss going to a SNF to finish the antibiotics (cause he was not going to stay there) or possibly, if he preferred, have them done at home with a home nurse (this option he did not like). He was leaning heavily towards choosing a SNF, didn't really care which one.

I'm at the nurse station answering a call light and I hear noise coming from his room, mostly him yelling and a couple things being banged around. Sure enough, as I'm hanging up the phone, the CNA comes storming out of the room and informs me "I am not doing a DAMN thing for that man tonight, not even vitals, and from now on I won't accept any assignment with him on it."

Now, if you've ever seen the movie starring Clint Eastwood that also has Morgan Freeman, "Unforgiven", it makes this story a bit funnier. If you have seen it, recall that the whole issue with the cowboys Eastwood is hunting down starts when a hooker giggles at the size of a customer's...............manhood.

I go in, ready to rip this guy a new bum hole (because I know the CNA and she is top notch, never rude to patients and always going the extra mile for them). He is sitting on the edge of the bed crying. I'm thinking "Whoa, what is going on?"

I ask very calmly if he is OK, if there is anything I can get for him. He says "No, but can I ask you something?"

I tell him sure, I'll answer whatever questions he has. Well, that was a lie. He asked what was probably the one, single question I would not answer.

"Is my pecker really that small?"

:eek:"Well..................ummmmm........................OK then. No, I don't think so but I'm not an expert, why do you care?"

He said he just had a hunch and he wanted to be alone.

Fast forward to after I've been able to talk to the CNA (who is returning from a cigarette break). Her side of the story:

"He asked me if I was in school to be a nurse. I told him no, I am probably going to major in accounting (this was true, I knew that she was in a CC but was not going into nursing). He started using the urinal (this guy did this in front of everyone, not news) and told me he wanted me to look at something (I'm getting weirded out at this point). He tells me to open his bag so I do. In it was a bunch of papers, and some were W2's. He asked me to do his taxes, and he was serious. I giggled. He got mad at me for saying no and started throwing stuff, told me to quit making fun of him."

By now you've probably put 2 and 2 together. She giggles at his request for her to do his taxes, he thinks she is laughing at the size of..............him..........and gets very upset.

So, to answer your question, in one fell swoop, I got the two oddest requests in one incident:

1. Judge the size of another man's............self.

2. Do said man's taxes.

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Peds hospital. Mom calls. Patient needs to go to the bathroom. I figure the problem is the IV pole, so I unplug it, move it in the direction of the bathroom. Mom says, "But there's somebody in there, don't you have another bathroom in one of the other rooms?" "No m'am, the floor is full, all the rooms are occupied, whoever is in his bathroom will just have to get out."

I used to work on a unit that didn't have bathrooms in the patient rooms. Complaints then were understandable. But I'm not going to apologize for only having one toilet in the patient's room!

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Actually, it was a request made to my CNA, but the pt. was mine. The story is kinda two-fold:

32 yr old male, works at a local grocery store as a night stock person. In with cellulitis of the left forearm. This was his 5th or 6th admit in the last couple years. He recently had a PICC inserted for long term IV antibiotic therapy. Social Services had been in his room that morning to discuss going to a SNF to finish the antibiotics (cause he was not going to stay there) or possibly, if he preferred, have them done at home with a home nurse (this option he did not like). He was leaning heavily towards choosing a SNF, didn't really care which one.

I'm at the nurse station answering a call light and I hear noise coming from his room, mostly him yelling and a couple things being banged around. Sure enough, as I'm hanging up the phone, the CNA comes storming out of the room and informs me "I am not doing a DAMN thing for that man tonight, not even vitals, and from now on I won't accept any assignment with him on it."

Now, if you've ever seen the movie starring Clint Eastwood that also has Morgan Freeman, "Unforgiven", it makes this story a bit funnier. If you have seen it, recall that the whole issue with the cowboys Eastwood is hunting down starts when a hooker giggles at the size of a customer's...............manhood.

I go in, ready to rip this guy a new bum hole (because I know the CNA and she is top notch, never rude to patients and always going the extra mile for them). He is sitting on the edge of the bed crying. I'm thinking "Whoa, what is going on?"

I ask very calmly if he is OK, if there is anything I can get for him. He says "No, but can I ask you something?"

I tell him sure, I'll answer whatever questions he has. Well, that was a lie. He asked what was probably the one, single question I would not answer.

"Is my pecker really that small?"

:eek:"Well..................ummmmm........................OK then. No, I don't think so but I'm not an expert, why do you care?"

He said he just had a hunch and he wanted to be alone.

Fast forward to after I've been able to talk to the CNA (who is returning from a cigarette break). Her side of the story:

"He asked me if I was in school to be a nurse. I told him no, I am probably going to major in accounting (this was true, I knew that she was in a CC but was not going into nursing). He started using the urinal (this guy did this in front of everyone, not news) and told me he wanted me to look at something (I'm getting weirded out at this point). He tells me to open his bag so I do. In it was a bunch of papers, and some were W2's. He asked me to do his taxes, and he was serious. I giggled. He got mad at me for saying no and started throwing stuff, told me to quit making fun of him."

By now you've probably put 2 and 2 together. She giggles at his request for her to do his taxes, he thinks she is laughing at the size of..............him..........and gets very upset.

So, to answer your question, in one fell swoop, I got the two oddest requests in one incident:

1. Judge the size of another man's............self.

2. Do said man's taxes.

OT, but goes so well with your story.

Pt who'd been self administering interferon in his leg muscle comes in c/o redness and swelling at injection site.

Me: Let's have a look at that.

Pt: I don't wear underwear.

Me: That's okay.

-----we both go behind the curtain, but in earshot of other staff, pt drops his jeans---------------

Me: Wow! Look at that!

Pt: Yeah, look how swollen it is.

Me: That's very impressive!

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When I was 8 months pregnant. I had a pt ask for a piggy back ride. I told her no we would use the lift. She said all the other nurses give me piggy back rides. ya right.

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Well, unfortunately, I was the offending request culprit. This is my confession and apology to the nurse. Until I started reading this site, I didn't know any better. SO sorry! My (first and only) baby was admitted into the hospital for RSV when he was 4 months old. I was the only one staying in the hospital with him. I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours (after an ER nightmare!!) and the nurse brought me lunch vouchers to get something to eat from the cafeteria. Here it goes... I asked her to stay in the room with him while I went down two floors to the cafe to bring something back. YIKES! I was nervous about leaving him alone. The unit was somewhat secured (with scan badges,) but not like the newborn nursery with special arm bands and such. I had never left him alone before. He was still sleeping in the same room as me (at night and for naps). I was even peeing with the door open! At the time, I thought the ratios were 1:1. She tried to convince me that with all the monitors attached to him, they would know instantly if anything was wrong. But knowing instantly and preventing is totally different. I begged her and promised that I would RUN (which I did). I also made a comment that she should start a business cutting baby fingernails, but I was telling her a story about how nervous it made me and how I messed up TWICE and I am hoping she knows I was just kidding about that and not belittling her skills and training as a RN. I have always respected nurses. I am sorry Nurse Bethany! Hopefully what goes around doesn't come around b/c I desperately want to be a peds nurse myself now.:)

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Specializes in Cardiac Surgical ICU.

I worked as a secretary in an outpatient physician's office and as a patient was leaving, he walked up to the front desk and asked for a toothpick lol. Sorry sir this isn't a restaurant!

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Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.
usually it is something like "would you run out real quick and get me a beer and some cigaretts?" Yeah, I'll just leave my other 19 patients and go fetch something for you right now! Uggh people can be so dense.

I'd be like "heck yeah, if you get my NM to find coverage for my other 6 pts, sure will". Maybe, just maybe that way I get to hop, skip and eat my lunch on the way and get a break.........lol

j/k of course!

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Specializes in multispecialty ICU, SICU including CV.

I had a very obese lady a number of years ago at a very prestigious hospital nearing discharge from CABG surgery (patient was likely very wealthy, didn't live in the area, had flown in for the surgery, etc.) MD had been in the room earlier and told her that she needed to lose a significant amount of weight, and when she was seen for her post-op check in about a month he wanted her to be down 10 pounds. This lady ate and drank everything we put in front of her, always wanted snacks, etc. so I wondered how that was gonna go.

She was a nice lady but she treated us all like wait staff. She had this weird thing where she refused to drink water -- was always having us bring her juices and would guzzle them down. She probably had 12-14 juice cups average in a 24 hour period. I went to bring her her HS pills and handed the cup to her. She had water at her bedside. She was like, "Oh, I can't take these pills." Me - "Why not?" Her - "I don't take pills with water." (Rolling my eyes in my mind at this point.) Me - "What would you like to take them with then?" Her - "Apricot nectar."

APRICOT NECTAR?????

I told her the hospital didn't stock that (like she didn't know already after all the juices she had been drinking!!!!) and we had apple, orange, grape, and cranberry.

I don't know why I still remember that lady, but I do. I'm betting she hasn't lost any weight.

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