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Momma, Who Are Those Children In My Room?

Nurses Article   (22,528 Views | 48 Replies | 544 Words)

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I had always wanted to work with pediatric oncology kids but when actually faced with the opportunity I was very hesitant. What if I messed something up? What if I wasn't able to give the parents and child the support and answers they needed? Despite all of my fears, I went through the oncology certification course. You are reading page 2 of Momma, Who Are Those Children In My Room?. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

blondy2061h has 15 years experience as a MSN, RN and specializes in Oncology.

1 Article; 4,094 Posts; 38,189 Profile Views

One of my long term patients who I was fond of recently died. This is a comforting story to read.

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MAISY, RN-ER has 6 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in ER/EHR Trainer.

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This was a great story and although sad, uplifting.

I grew with an Irish mother who swore to me that when her grandmother and mother died they talked about seeing loved ones prior to their death. As a matter of fact, my grandmother was in the hospital and when my mom came told her that she had just missed her father. Of course, my mother left the room and went hysterical. My grandmother was there for renal colic-she died unexpectedly that night!

Do they come for us?

More recently, my FIL passed in hospice; the final two days of his life he was talking to "George"-George had been a friend from childhood who he'd kept through his entire life. He kept saying that George had called and said he was coming. The conversations continued into the following morning. Dad died that day. When we tracked down George's number to call, we found out from his son that he had died several years earlier on that SAME DAY!

Did George come and get him? Who knows?

If so I am glad he didn't go alone. It's a nice thought that someone is waiting for us....

M

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35 Posts; 2,000 Profile Views

There's no doubt in my mind. To a nurse who has worked with hospice patients or critically ill patients, the question of whether or not this could be true is a complete NON ISSUE. If you have worked with enough dying patients, and have an open mind and even a thread of intuition, this type of story is very commonplace.

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Libitina specializes in Obs & gynae theatres.

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There's no doubt in my mind. To a nurse who has worked with hospice patients or critically ill patients, the question of whether or not this could be true is a complete NON ISSUE. If you have worked with enough dying patients, and have an open mind and even a thread of intuition, this type of story is very commonplace.

An open mind means questioning all avenues, not blindly believing. I have also cared for many dying patients and do not project my personal beliefs on their situation.

I don't want to 'devalue' the OPs original point however, so will keep the rest of my opinions on this matter for a more suitable thread.

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35 Posts; 2,000 Profile Views

With all due respect, are you saying you work with the dying and haven't experienced a situation such as described? It has nothing to do with "projecting personal beliefs." Perhaps it is a matter of seeing and hearing and NOT trying to reason it away. As we were taught, the experience is what the patient says it is.

Besides if the thought brings a patient comfort in their final hours, or peace to a grieving family, is that a bad thing?

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1,318 Posts; 10,895 Profile Views

A girl I went to highschool with had a sister (7) who was dieing of cancer. She was in the hospital and said once day "Mommy I want to go home". She was dieing but the mom (i am assuming) did not want to upset her said, "You will sweety". Her response "No, I want to go home with Jesus, but how will I know what car he is driving" her mother told her she would just know.

This to me, shows a level of understanding what was happening beyond what a child of that age should have to have. In the situation she did need to know, but it saddens me. I always knew what was going on, my parents never hid anything of my disorder (neurofibromatosis) from me, but to understand you are that close to death at such a young age, that is sad to me.

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dbscandy has 37 years experience and specializes in Renal; NICU.

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My aunt had been ill with renal failure for quite some time. One Sunday morning in the hospital, her husband, a minister who had died many years before, 'came to visit'. She related this to her cousin that afternoon. She tried to die that night, but her doctor kept 'going and going'. Finally, it was taken out of his hands, and she died the next morning.

Because I am a Christian, and I believe in God's comfort and peace, I believe my Uncle Courtney was sent to reassure and comfort his wife. Perhaps it was the Spirit in a form she would recognize. Perhaps children come to children for they may not have a dead relative they would recognize 'to go with'.

Children seem to 'see' more than we do, and I believe it is because they are innocent still. They are very up-front about what is going on and I think God uses this.

During a healing prayer service in my church, a little boy, 4, asked his dad who the tall men in white robes were, who were standing in the back of the church. Of course, Dad looked around and saw nothing. When he said this to his son, the child insisted they were there. Who's to argue with that?

You know, when it's all said and done, it doesn't really matter what YOU believe. It matters what your patient BELIEVES is happening. And IMO, you just go with it.

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BSN_after_40 has 19 years experience and specializes in Public Health, Teaching, Geriatric, M/S.

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Your story and the replies from other nurses who cared for terminally ill people really compell me. I had an experience when I was 12 years old I will never forget. My grandmother was dying in the hospital of bone cancer. She was such a huge part of my life and I was closer to her than anyone else, even my parents. I was holding her hand and telling her what I had done in school that day when she passed. I felt her hand go limp and I looked at her, with a peaceful smile on her face. She had been in so much pain. Anyway, I looked at my parents who were crying and some how, felt myself come out of my body and saw them from the ceiling. I can't explain it, but I clearly saw myself, my parents, and my grandmother for a few seconds from above the room. I felt no sorrow, just peace. I quietly said "I will go tell everyone she is gone (in the waiting room)." I was able to walk to the door then I felt like I crashed down into my body and starting to sob. I know it sounds crazy but it did happen to me. I can't figure out how but I feel like her spirit clung to me for a brief couple of seconds before she went to heaven. That night, I had a very clear dream. I walked down this dark tunnel holding her hand. When we got to the end, there was a bright light. She stopped and looked at me and said "I have to go now, But I will be watching over you." And then she walked into the light and I woke up. I have never had any kind of experience like this before or since.

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jschut has 20 years experience as a BSN, RN.

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Thank you for this story.

I wanted to add, that I believe God allows us to have "visions" or whatnot as we may need them.

For instance, my Momma passed away 2 years ago this past July. I've been very upset lately cause when I think of her, I can't "hear" her voice. I can remember it was deep and she had a booming laugh that often sent us into fits of giggles whenever we'd get tickled about something...

But the other night during a dream, Mom and I were talking.. a real conversation (not like before she passed, when her voice and words were mutilated by dementia, oral cancer and surgery...) and her voice was clear to me! And the laugh.. oh! that precious laughter! It's clear to me once again, and I am at peace, and I know my Momma is happy.

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In response to all of the stories here today I must say that I had an experience when I was doing home health. I had a client that was terminally ill with lung cancer. She was in her ninties. Her mind was well intact. I cared for her since the very first day that she went on hospice. It was about two months when she was in her final stages. One night about three am. I went in to check on her in her bedroom. Husband was sound asleep beside her. She looked asleep but then suddenly she opened her eyes and called me over. For some reason I knew that it was not going to be good. I got really nervous. I said to her what can I get you? She said to me, get ALL of my medicine, I want to end it. I said to her excuse me? Thinking that I may have misunderstood her. She repeated it again. Get me ALL of my medicine. I said to her that I could not help her end her life. I said to her that GOD would not forgive her. I knew that she was Cathloic. She asked me why? I said to her that it was mortal sin to commit sucide in the Cathloic religon. She thought about it for a moment and a real look of being afraid came over her face. She said to me that she was afraid that she would not go to heaven because she had not been a very nice person. She cried. I had not EVER experienced anything like this before so I had to think fast. I was the only one there besides her sleeping husband who was also terminally ill with throat cancer. So I asked her if she had been saved. She had replyed no. I sat next to her and explained to her that she would only pass away when GOD was ready for her. And she kept telling me that she was ready now. She wanted no more pain. I had told her that GOD was preparing a room for her in his mansion in heaven. But she was so worried that she would not be able to go to heaven because she was not a GOOD person. I explained to her that we do not enter the Kingdom of Heaven by good deeds, but by our belief in God. So I asked her if she truly believed that GOD died on the cross for our sins. And she said yes. So I explained to her that if she confesses with her heart and believes that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, so that we may have eternal life in heaven than she is saved and her sins are forgiven. She will enter the gates of heaven. We prayed the prayer of salvation and that was the last time that she ever spoke to me again. She died two days later. Her husband died eleven days later.

I can honestly say that God or whomever it is that we believe in, gives us a chance to redeem ourselves in the end. It is up to us to take that chance and make a decision. Hopefully we will make that decision sooner than later.

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8 Posts; 989 Profile Views

Beautiful post. It is so true that we receive more than we give when we are privileged to serve the dying and their families.

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87 Posts; 4,687 Profile Views

Hmm I don't mean to be argumentative...but I don't know if I could agree with ru4rns. If she was a Catholic then it probably wasn't appropriate to tell her those things. Catholics don't believe in being "saved" and they do not think that just faith will get you to heaven. It's faith in cooperation with good works. I don't think it was really appropriate to tell her that she would go to heaven if she did what *you* believe will get someone there.

I know that it was probably hard to think on your feet and help her in being comforted, and it was all right to pray with her, but honestly it would've probably been better to call a priest in the morning to give her her last rites because that's in accordance with her religion. Catholics have to confess their sins to a priest to have them absolved. If you didn't know, then it's not something you should feel bad about, though. And now you do know for the future :)

I'm not trying to start something, just saying that it's a gray area in dealing with patient's religious beliefs when they're in conflict with yours, and I think nurses should be careful about it.

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