Mom Wants Me to Become an RN as Backup... But I Don't

[RyanThePianist]

Hi all,

My name is Ryan, I'm 22 years old, and I recently graduated college with a music major and biology minor. I completed the premed prereqs, but realized in the last year that I don't love medicine, and that I'd rather get a Master's degree in Classical Piano Performance so that I can potentially teach music at universities, K-12, perform around the city/churches, and start a home piano studio to take in students for lessons. Music has been my passion since before I was a teenager, and as a teacher currently, I absolutely love all the kids that I teach and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything else.

I have one dilemma: Since I quit premed, my dad has been ok with my decision, but my mom has been begging me to at least become a nurse as a backup degree... basically, she wants me to spend all this money, time, and energy to obtain a degree that I won't even use (unless I somehow quit music or if need the money). I get she wants me to have a stable backup plan since running a studio is basically running my own private business, which she isn't comfortable about as she thinks I'll be "crawling for money". In my view, yes you gotta hustle and persist to make money, but I'm fully aware of this and accepted that it's a life I want to live.

A career in music may mean that I have to pay for my own health insurance if I don't work at a school, and my income isn't salary based if I don't land a school job; however, I feel I can make it work like the many other successful music teachers/performers in my city who cobble a career together with multiple music-related jobs, and I feel as if going to nursing school would just be wasting my time and money that I could be using to obtain my Master's degree in music and start my business with zero debt. I feel like if I get a nursing degree, I'd be age 25 or so by then, and then I'd have to pay off that debt working in a job I don't enjoy, and then get my Master's in music, then find jobs and gigs while starting my studio.

Best case scenario: There's a teacher in my city who charges $65 per hour lesson, and she has 45 private students and a couple of other employees in her studio. She also accompanies musicians on the side for school. This is quite a lot of money, in my opinion. This is something I want to do one day.

Lastly, I don't care about being rich... as long as I make somewhere around 50-70k I think I'd be pretty satisfied, especially since I'm in my dream career.

I'm simply here to ask what other nurses or nursing students think about this situation. Is it worth it to go through the schooling just to have a fallback degree? Should I just go all in for music and go to nursing school if music isn't paying the bills (which I feel won't be the case since I'm so driven)?

Feel free to ask me any questions you have, especially about music since I'm sure that field isn't a common topic to many of you.

Thank you!

Ryan

[marienm, RN, CCRN]

I worked in performing arts for quite a while before deciding it was time for a change (including more financial stability). I entered nursing school in my 30s, and had to take out loans to do so, especially since I already had a degree and thus wasn't eligible for things like Pell grants. In a way, nursing was my back-up plan...I just made the switch when *I* was ready to make it and wanted to work full-time as a nurse. Depending on where you are located, your school options for nursing will vary. In my area, my good grades from my first degree (>10 years earlier) helped me get into nursing school (especially since I had no health care experience). It was also not difficult in this area to get a job as a new grad nurse in a hospital. So, when I decided I wanted to do it, it was a fairly straightforward path. No reason to think you need to rush into it now just because you finished undergrad.

TL : DR nursing could still be something you pursue later. Tell your Mom there are a lot of options in nursing and you'll keep it in the back of your mind? Meanwhile, throw yourself into music if that's what you're committed to doing!

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

You have to live your own life. I think you would regret going into nursing just to placate your mom. Stand your ground and enjoy your music career. But do you really need a Masters if you are already teaching others with the education you currently have? Avoid unecessary debt, especially student loan debt as their are no bankruptcy options for student loans.

[Oldmahubbard]

A lot to think about. I don't blame your Mom for being anxious, because so very, very few people support themselves in music, even when teaching is factored in. The teaching jobs are almost as competitive as performing. Maybe even more so, because they are a stable income.

Keep in mind there are nursing jobs that are not crazy hectic hospital shift work, but they usually require experience, and tend to pay less.

Keep an open mind, because nursing encompasses many roles that you probably have never imagined.

[BookishBelle]

Hi!

You sound kind of like me back in the day! I did a music theory bachelor's and planned to teach and have a private studio for piano while performing at weddings and other events as well as being involved in a lot of church music groups. And I did for a lot of years and enjoyed it very much. But I'm going into my second year of nursing school, reinventing my life because although that is a great part time pay, it makes it very difficult to save for retirement or have any extra since you need a lot of hustle to make it full time long term.

It's very possible you have that hustle! Since you are young, I would say give it a go! Try it for the next 5 years! Your prereqs for nursing should last that long, and if it is hard to sustain, change paths then. If nursing doesn't appeal there are other good professions!

. All my kids are musical and gifted, but I encouraged them to get "real" jobs and do the music on the side for love. Not super hard core, but they knew what we had been through. So they are constantly doing music, but after their 9-5 accounting and science jobs. They like their jobs, and they love their music. I've loved my music, but hated not having any security, so here I am. Enjoying my nursing training, but not actually in it yet, so not totally qualified to talk, but figured I would toss my perspective into the thread.

[turtlesRcool]

Another second career nurse here!

My passion was theatre (got at BFA with double major in English), and I got a master's in education so I taught and directed for years.

Then I got married, had kids, and burned out. In fairness, this was public high school, so probably more intense with grading, lesson plans, emails, etc. than teaching in a private studio. But still, what people want out of job can change as they enter different seasons of life.

So, I went back and did an accelerated BSN, and am enjoying my second career as a nurse. Since you already have a heavily science-related undergraduate course of studies, you probably don't need to do much to have all the prerequisites you need, should you decide to go back for nursing.

If, sometime down the road, you find you want a job with greater stability, etc., then you are well-positioned to become a second-career RN.

Pursuing an RN right now will not help you in any way. It will take away from your music career, which requires a lot of time and energy to get off the ground. It will incur debt, which is rarely a good thing. It will give you a "useless" degree because if you don't use it immediately, your skills will become outdated quickly, and you won't be able to find a job anyway.

[CherylRNBSN]

Oh my gosh, you have an embarrassment of riches here. Lucky enough to have two potential career paths. Prepared to pursue either.

I have been a nurse for a very long time, and while I (mostly) love it, it sounds to me you clearly have a passion for music. You must pursue your passion. You will regret it if you don't. You are young enough that you have time to decide if you WANT or NEED to choose a different path.

Since you clearly love teaching and music, BE a musician and BE a teacher. You must do this first.

If you find that is not really want you want or need, re examine your goals. My Dear, you have the time. But... once you hit mid-thirties, reassess and seriously examine where you are and what you need/want.

You would still have time to pursue nursing or medicine.

After that, things get harder. TiME becomes an issue, family responsibilities become an issue, aptitude becomes an issue. Money becomes ever more an issue. Pursue aptitude and passion first but don't forget money and time.

My two cents!

Best of luck to you, my musician friend and possible fellow nurse.

[RyanThePianist]

Every single person here has helped me immensely with my situation. I feel more confident about my life choices, and I'm glad that basically 100% of you suggest that I go all in without turning back so that I reach my full potential. I will constantly be cautious, and I will reassess my life here and there to see if I need to make any major career changes (even if that career change doesn't involve nursing). The advice about being in as little debt as possible also resonates through me, and I will ensure to take the steps necessary to avoid that as much possible, even if it means delaying my studies for a while as I continue working and building my home studio.

I'm considering even showing my mom this forum by saying, "Look. Here are actual nurses and nursing students who can say that your path isn't the best path to take." She'll probably make a counter argument, but it just frustrates me how my mom, a mom who hasn't worked a day as a nurse, can beg me to do something I don't see myself committing to. I know she's just worried about my financial security... I guess we'll just see where things go.

[kara_t]

If nursing is not something you want DO NOT do it! Nursing school is so incredibly hard and if you're head is in something else besides nursing then it will be even harder. I had friends drop out first semester who really wanted to be nurses but once school started found they hated it. Also like others have said nursing isn't really a fall back career unless you're going to work part time hours in order to stay competent in tasks. For your sake and patients sake do not pursue nursing just because your mom wants you to. Follow your own dreams.

[LC25]

As many others have said, If YOU don't want to go into nursing, DON'T DO IT. Nursing school will always be there if that's something you choose later in life. There are plenty of people in school in their 30's, 40's etc. I could't even imagine getting through school if it wasn't something I REALLY wanted to do, let alone work in this field. Do what you want, you're young and have a passion. There are so many people out there with absolutely no what they want to do. The fact that you have a vision and dream for yourself is great! Follow it!

[trytounderstand]

Don't do something that you are not happy or comfortable doing. If you have found that you aren't interesting in nursing it would be a shame to put all those years and dollars into something you would hate doing.

I would suggest that since you want to be a teacher, find something to go with your music that you would be comfortable teaching...science, math, art....that you could fall back on if necessary to add to your list of accomplishments. That way if your plan on having a studio does not pay the bills you can supplement with a teaching position or even just substitute teaching...

Your mother is correct in thinking that you should always have a backup plan just in case your dream job does not work out. Have been very many things in my lifetime some I never expected to be and some far away from what I spent money to get a degree ....life sometimes throws you a curveball

[jetsy62]

Nursing can be a second career, but it can't be a back up career. Two totally different things. If you don' want to be a nurse (and people have many different reasons for wanting to be one), I believe your chances of successfully getting through school and passing NCLEX is minimal. My best to you.

[caliotter3]

After reading OP's last post, can't help but get the impression that Mom has a little bit of an unfulfilled wish to have become a nurse herself, that she would like her kid to fulfill. Nothing wrong with that, but it could play into the situation.