I wanted to be a nurse when I first started college at 18(now28), but my mom told me I could do anything BUT nursing. She was paying so I didn't do it. I got half way through a business administration program and dropped out because it wasn't what I wanted to do. I got married and had a baby instead of finishing school.
Anyway I started back to school and I am finishing my last prerequisites and applying to nursing school right now. My mom however, is being less than supportive. I have gotten to where I rarely talk to her.
We were talking oneday about nursing and about my friend that is a tech and she said in so many words that nurses are 'rear wipers' . I told her that nurses do some of that stuff but that is definitly now all they do. Her reply was "yes they do, do a little paper work".
Since she wasn't convinced that nurses did more than wipe rears, I told her about I girl I know that is a new grad. She got a job at the hospital I volunteer at making $30 an hour. I said "I would love to wipe rears for $30 and hour"LOL. She didn't laugh though.
Another day we were talking about shoes and about our feet hurting and I told her how bad my feet hurt when I was waiting tables. She tells me because of this that there is no way I can be a nurse. I told her I will be able to afford good shoes but she just rolled her eyes at me. She also told me that someone told her that in nursing school you have to disect cats; and I won't be able to do it. My response was "that is A&P and I had no problem doing it". She just said "oh".
My father was really sick with cancer recently, and I would think she would have developed some kind of respect for nurses but she hasn't. I wonder if she even knew who the RNs were when she was at the hopital. Maybe she thought the CNAs were the RNs. I just can't figure her out and she is pissing me off.:angryfire
I understand manipulative parents, trust me. Mine were always trying to manipulate my love life. You are 28 years old. It is your life. You don't have to put up with her maniuplation anymore. Do what you want! Hopefully some day some how she will learn what a nurse really does. Maybe her view will change when she see's you happy and making a decent living.
My mom and husband both said the same thing to me 5 years ago ("You can't wipe butts.") Funny thing is, my husband runs a nursing home and my mom volunteered at one! They did have an idea as to what was going on so I can't fault them. I obviously took their advice and got my Master's in psychology.
Now that it's a few years later they seem to be fine. My mom is trying to set me up for not feeling totally discouraged if I don't get into the BSN program (letters should go out next week or so). She'll be the first one to tell you everytime, "CNA's are the hardest working, most underappreciated people." A lot of her friends are RN's and they are totally excited about me getting my degree.
Don't worry about it. Your mom could have a million reasons why she is saying those things, none may even have to do with you! Don't avoid her; just try not to talk about it with her.
You have to talk to your mom just NOT about nursing. I'm in the same spot you are. I have told my mom that I'm doing what I want to do and it may take me 10 years to get it done but she isn't paying for it so she can't complain. Of course her complaint is I should just be happy to stay at home with my kids. (I work full time right now) Go Figure:rolleyes: It may make your mom mad but she will come around if you just tell her you will not talk about nursing with her again end of story. The funny thing is the first time somethng happens to her she will expect you to take care of her!!!!
I would go ahead and be a nurse. Although she is still your mother, you have to respect her, but you are married now, you can make your own decision. You want to be a nurse because you want to help people. She needs to understand it is your choice not hers and support you regardless.
you need to follow what you want to do:nurse: . look for support from others (like us). it's hard not to have supportive parents (i know first hand:madface: ), but don't let her talk you out of what you want. there are too many regrets later in life, don't let this be one.
I might discourage my children to go into nursing as well, but for much different reasons that i won't get into here. However, lack of respect for nurses is not one of them. Her view of nursing is very typical of the lay person's view. People really have no idea what we are responsible for. Yes i do wipe ass, but I am also able to determine if my Swan has migrated into a lethal wedge postion, I am able to defibrillate someone back to life, and I am responsible for timing the inflation and deflation of the balloon that might be sitting in her ascending aorta one day. I've caught many a thing that a physician has missed over the years while i've been wiping ass. Also, I have never lost my compassion (despite this attitude toward nurses). I'd say that was pretty versatile. Good luck to you
Until the nay-sayers start paying your bills and living your life for you, their opinions on your decisions really have no bearing on your life at all. Hang in there!
Try to convince her that your new dream is to become a stripper.
Then maybe nursing will look better to her.
I should try this!:roll
My mom has always been a stay at home mom/house-wife so maybe that has something to do with it. She said something the other day about daycares being kidie kennals.:angryfire She is so passive agressive it isn't funny I have a hard time talking to her without nursing coming up, as school is such a big part of my life right now. I will just have to change the subject fast.
I thought I only had this problem. I am 33, married to the best husband in the world. I've been with my husband for over 13 yrs but, married for only 2 yrs. and no kids yet. I've been a CNA on and off for 13yrs. and tried other jobs in the mean time. ( medical billing, dental asst. ect. ) Lost intrest and they did not pay well and/or employers wanting more exp. I don't come from a highly educated family, just regular blue collar workers. I have 2 sisters and 1 brother. My parents never really pushed college and also never had the money to help with a better education. I recently told my parents that I was thinking about LPN schooling and try and make it to RN. My dad said it would be great but really didn't get the whole process and as for my mother she didn't even acknowledge what I said. OUCH, that hurt. In conversation with my husband and telling him the response he turned to me and said, that my mother simply does not want me to be better than her and you know, I think he is right. It all started to make sense. That is when I finally realized why I have no confidence and never completed alot of things in my life. It was sad that I got no encouragement from her. Please, don't get me wrong, I love both my parents very much and had a healthy up-bringing. But I just think my mom has issues with her own past and maybe not doing what she has always wanted. I don't know. As her response left me with no confidence once again, it frustrates me and is pushing me even more just to prove a point and to someday say, " See, I did it " As for my husband, he gives me all the encouragement I need and thinks I would make a great nurse.
. I told her that nurses do some of that stuff but that is definitly now all they do. Her reply was "yes they do, do a 
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GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN
1,553 Posts
I understand manipulative parents, trust me.
Mine were always trying to manipulate my love life. You are 28 years old. It is your life. You don't have to put up with her maniuplation anymore. Do what you want! Hopefully some day some how she will learn what a nurse really does. Maybe her view will change when she see's you happy and making a decent living.