I wanted to be a nurse when I first started college at 18(now28), but my mom told me I could do anything BUT nursing. She was paying so I didn't do it. I got half way through a business administration program and dropped out because it wasn't what I wanted to do. I got married and had a baby instead of finishing school.
Anyway I started back to school and I am finishing my last prerequisites and applying to nursing school right now. My mom however, is being less than supportive. I have gotten to where I rarely talk to her.
We were talking oneday about nursing and about my friend that is a tech and she said in so many words that nurses are 'rear wipers' . I told her that nurses do some of that stuff but that is definitly now all they do. Her reply was "yes they do, do a little paper work".
Since she wasn't convinced that nurses did more than wipe rears, I told her about I girl I know that is a new grad. She got a job at the hospital I volunteer at making $30 an hour. I said "I would love to wipe rears for $30 and hour"LOL. She didn't laugh though.
Another day we were talking about shoes and about our feet hurting and I told her how bad my feet hurt when I was waiting tables. She tells me because of this that there is no way I can be a nurse. I told her I will be able to afford good shoes but she just rolled her eyes at me. She also told me that someone told her that in nursing school you have to disect cats; and I won't be able to do it. My response was "that is A&P and I had no problem doing it". She just said "oh".
My father was really sick with cancer recently, and I would think she would have developed some kind of respect for nurses but she hasn't. I wonder if she even knew who the RNs were when she was at the hopital. Maybe she thought the CNAs were the RNs. I just can't figure her out and she is pissing me off.:angryfire
I regret your mother has the archaic view of a nurse that the profession still battles. Fortunately, we all know better. First, we recognize that nursing is indeed a profession and it is a noble one that takes a unique individual who is dedicated to providing quality care with positive outcomes. The profession of nursing also opens so many doors and offers many career paths with its routes to advanced practice and even doctoral education. I would imagine your mother is completely unaware of this.
It is difficult for us to acknowledge that our parents aren't perfect. Yet, every day we acknowledge and laugh at our own imperfections and recognize that we ourselves have prejudices. Follow your heart and pursue your nursing career. Your mother may never understand your career choice but she will see that you are happy and in the end that will be what matters the most!
you would think she would have a better idea of what nurses do, after your father's hospitalization. that's usually the turning point for most people. these are the people that thank the nurses, not the doctors, for everything they've done (like dave letterman did). how did you and she see entirely different perspectives of a nurse's role (especially in oncology). maybe she did confuse the nurses with the cnas. while i have wiped my share of butts, it takes more than butt-wiping 101 to give chemo.
its obvious that she feels nursing is not good enough for you. or she feels that you (as a mother) should not have to (or need to) work. i feel like my mother thought that way. she couldn't wait to become a grandmother, my father needed to gently remind her that i really should get my career up and running first. i've been a student for the last 14 yrs (12 of them part time- bsn and msn), and i don't think she appreciated my passion for education (hs grad and sahm until i was 14).
i think she appreciates it now, now that i'm a single parent and able to (almost) live financially independent of a man. something my mother would never be able to do (fortunately she does not have to).
Wow.....could be anything -- jealousy, not understanding, an unhappy person who can't stand to see another happy? Who knows?
I will say this -- many people just can't seem to not project their thoughts on others. And a parents' thoughts are extremely powerful.
At 50 years of age (well, probably somewhat earlier), I finally learned to tune my mom out....her voice still sometimes rings in my head, but she doesn't have all the answers and she surely doesn't have MY answers. I plug along and so should you.
I am so sorry that she can't be supportive, but some parents can't. While you're in school you will find many people who are trudging down the same path and have the same dreams -- those are the people you need to help keep this dream alive and who will support and empathize as you travel this path. Oh, and this place, too!
I credit my late mother for not only encouraging my dream to become a nurse, but also for fighting to get me into public school to begin with after I was tested and labeled as "mentally retarded". I wasn't retarded. I had a learning disability. If it hadn't been for her perserverence, I wouldn't be talking to you guys right now.
i know it's hard, but don't let the jealousy get in your way...your probably doing way more w/ your life than she ever has, so keep your chin up...at least that is what i think my mom's problem is :)
Try checking out a book (like any of us have time to read!) called "You're Wearing That?" by Deborah Tannen. Although I haven't read it, I heard an hour long interview with the author on my school commute one morning. The author studied the mother-daughter relationship for years and gave a lot of insight and solutions. It might be worth your while to try and make things better with your mom, if her opinion is that important to you. I do agree with the other posters, though, you are an adult, go for it! My mom forbid me to join the Marines at the age of 20 - we didn't talk for the last few months before I left for boot camp. She came to terms with my decision when she saw that I was successful and loving it. She has been supportive ever since and is proud to have her (veteran) daughter in nursing school. She has even kept the "My daughter is a U.S. Marine" sticker on her car because she is prooud - and I have been out (and in college) for three years! She just needed to learn that I know what is right for me, no matter what she thinks. Good luck and go for it.
You know, this crap we get from relatives has been on my mind. We all know that nurses come out on top in those surveys taken of which professions the public respects. We also know that nurses don't actually get enough respect in the real world. There lies the paradox, when public surveys rank tops in respect and real world falls short in respect.
I think the public appreciates what nurses do for them, but not who they are (education, complexity of the role). It seems like a kind of conditioned response, when John Q Public is asked about nurses, or nursing, he responds with something like "nurses...couldn't do without them. You must be a good person to be a nurse." But when John Q Public sees the curriculum for nursing education, you hear things like "why would a nurse need to know Organic Chemistry, anything complicated the DOCTOR would be doing."
As we all know, of course this attitude is because nursing is a historically female profession and women are not respected like men.
Oh, and John Q Public is my father, a retired engineer. After he said the above, and treated me in a (((condescending))) manner when I told him I'm going to nursing school, I nearly told him to "go %$#@ yourself" as his hero, Dick Cheney has a habit of saying.
. I told her that nurses do some of that stuff but that is definitly now all they do. Her reply was "yes they do, do a 
stpauligirl
2,327 Posts
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