Mom of 3 trying to go back to school

BBFRN, BSN, PhD · May 16, 2004

LTDave- she did say her husband was going to stay at home with the kids.

MYAgirls3 · May 17, 2004

You know LT-Dave if you had read my thread, I did say my husband was to care for our children. I really didn't care for you first reply, but now knowing you don't have children is unfair for you to say anything at all. I would be doing this to make sure I could always provide for them. I am not for daycare from my own expierence as a child. I want to better my childrens future. I think you would better understand if you had children.

BBFRN, BSN, PhD · May 17, 2004

MYA, don't be discouraged...you're already out of the house as it is, trying to make ends meet and working- I guess in some people's eyes, that's also bad...whatever. Do what you feel is right for your family- they're the only ones you have to answer to.

Best of luck to you and your family in these hard times. It was a situation similar to yours that prompted me to go to nursing school, and my children are just fine...in fact, they have thrived and are living a better and more secure life than before. Good luck to you.

Saved_by_Grace · May 17, 2004

Good luck to you Mya. I am also a mother of 3 ages( 8,5, and 2) and am starting nursing school this fall. I would like to tell LT Dave that yes I chose to have 3 children and yes My husband had a great paying job when we decided to bring them into this world, but then the economy changed and he LOST his high paying job due to downsizing. The telecom industry does not have a shortage as does say the nursing industry. Now he can't find a high paying job that would support his family of 5. He works mind you, but as a manager at Wal-mart because that's all he can find around here. I guess he could become a fisherman and feed us fish every day...lol.~so I can relate, you do what you have to do to provide for your little ones. ANd you let them know when you are with them that they are loved and give them all the kisses and hugs and encouragement in the world. You cherish every moment with your little ones and hope that you can keep them safe and warm and secure. So you go for it girl! Don't let anyone tell you you can't. That just adds fuel to my fire ..lol and makes me want to achieve it even more. Good luck and reach for the stars!

~Rn graduate in 2006

allnurses Guide · May 17, 2004

Dave may have been responding to nurseunderwater's post:

"Is there any way you can work part-time? i have 3 also - boys - 1,3,6. my plan is to work weekends, school fulltime and have a nanny. I know that this sounds pretentious(at least to this mama it does) but here in houston I can find a loving, experienced woman for around 350 a week to watch them in my home. this also includes cleaning. i figure this way i have the freedom to stay at the library and study/do research, go to class, clean while she takes the kids out, play w/ the kids while she cleans etc...i feel like it builds in the flexibility i need and my kids won't be so displaced. also if i work 24 hours at the hospital the forgiveness loan program will cover my tuition and expenses"

Sounds like her plate is over-full.

I did wait until my youngest started 1st grade. No one is saying it can't be done . . it is just hard and requires sacrifices that some are not willing to make. My kids are 21, 19 and 14 now and we had a baby almost 3 years ago and I can attest to the fact the time flies. Enjoy your little ones now . . they DO grow up way too fast.

steph

tonicareer · May 17, 2004

If you do wait until the kids are grown then the schools will not want to accept you because you are an older student, at least here in Indiana I see them losing my records and putting all kinds of obstacles in my path because I am older. Do what you want to do and just don't take years to get there like I did.

allnurses Guide · May 17, 2004

Everyone is my nursing class was an "older" woman . . .except for a couple of early 20's girls and a couple of guys just out of high school.

I think the stats are that most students are older returning students.

Don't sweat the older stuff. Lots of folks here became nurses OVER 40!! :eek:

Check out the threads here about older students . . .lots of us have done it.

steph

indigo · May 17, 2004

I too am a mother of three. I am divorced and now remarried. I am financing my nursing education using student loans. I quit my job and now concentrate all my energies on caring for my children and doing my studies. I will owe probably about $40,000 when I become an RN, but this way I can parent my children and get (almost) all As in school.

My husband is very supportive emotionally, but generally we do our money separately. He is there for backup, but mostly I am doing this on my own.

Good luck to you. I encourage you to follow your dream of nursing, but remember that you are always a parent, first. But then again so is your husband.

4EverStudent · May 17, 2004

I am a single mother of three and have went to school and worked to support them without a support system. It is difficult I have found that I had to jump in! I took alot of my classess on the internet at the local university you would be surprised at how many you can get out of the way that way. My children are very smart have always known how much I love them and how they come first. I am proud to say that I have raised them right! We are very close, no alcohol or drugs ever tried and all of my kids friends know that they are welcome when I am here and I know all of them and thier families as well. There are times when I am extremely tired and I did have to cut back to 32 hours and alternate shifts but it has worked well for me. My oldest graduates this year and my other daughter graduates next year. They are both graduating Magna Cum Laude and hold down part time jobs to help with thier car and insurance. My youngest is three and since most of my classes are on the internet he now takes his "classes" on the internet also. Reader Rabbit is facinating. And Dave I am glad your choice was not to have children I don't think you would have set a good example. Other wise I don't think anything that you had to say worth validating. Day Care at a certain age is even reccommended for helping children develop social skills before attending school. Mya, I just wanted to let you know that it could be done with minimal "damage" to your family if you want it, it just might take a little longer. I received my LVN 15 years ago when my girls were 2 and 3 and I gave up school for awhile and then slowly started getting into school again this last semester I took 15 hours and was able to keep my family intact and loving and work to support them. I hope to finish with my NP within 2 years so that I can continue to assist my children in thier schooling. Good Luck on what you decide. Remember though that you are setting a good example for your children to follow and the outcome is usually well worth it!

lisamc1RN, LPN · May 17, 2004

I have 4 children (11,9,6, and almost 2). I will be going to school part time. My husband will be watching the 2 year old (and the rest of them during the summer) on the days I'm in school. I was going to go to work part time as well, in order to afford to get through school, but I have been blessed with a husband who has a very flexible schedule, and he decided to pick up extra hours at his part time job (he also has a full time job as a pastor), so that I can be home the rest of the week. If it weren't for his flexible schedule, I wouldn't be going back to school until my son was ready for school. I have been a SAHM for 11 years now, and it would be very hard on the family for me to be gone full time all of a sudden. I know that sometimes, parents have no choice, though. Perhaps there is a way you can go to work part time and school part time? It will take longer, I know, but it might be more workable for your family?

ferfer · May 17, 2004

I just had to reply to this post, it is so full of emotion.

For myself, i have one girl, three and a half years old. I have minimal support, but enough to get by. I chose to go to school to provide a better life for myself and for her. It is true that time is limited, but quality is more important than quantity. When I am with her, that time is for her- not homework, not phone calls, not cleaning. It has been a tough road to be honest, but I would not change it for anything. I am only months away from being an RN and she is not so old that I have missed everything in her life. I stayed home with her as a baby and now she goes to a fantastic daycare,

Daycare could be another thread in itself, but it depends how you look at it. I shopped around, so to speak, and found an excellent facility. My girl has made friends and learned how to socialize and interact with other children. Her language skills have excelled and she is cared for by a wonderfully supportive staff. I feel she will be better prepared for the structure of school. They teach the kids manners, cleaning, they do crafts and have theme weeks, they have story time, and they go on field trips. She is in swimming lessons right now. It in no way replaces "mommy" but I do not feel that I am just dumping her off.

It is true, there is guilt associated with not seeing your child as much, but I always weight the benefits over what I would be doing. If not school now, where would I be? I might be working two full-time jobs at minimum wage, just to make ends meet, and would see her even less.

My advice, never give up on your dreams, and remember to prioritize. Some days, there will be times where you might have to put the work down as the kids will need you more than getting an A on an assignment. But it is possible, whether you do it now or later. Good luck to you!!!!!!!!!:)

smk1, LPN · May 17, 2004

It is true, there is guilt associated with not seeing your child as much, but I always weight the benefits over what I would be doing. If not school now, where would I be? I might be working two full-time jobs at minimum wage, just to make ends meet, and would see her even less.

My advice, never give up on your dreams, and remember to prioritize. Some days, there will be times where you might have to put the work down as the kids will need you more than getting an A on an assignment. But it is possible, whether you do it now or later. Good luck to you!!!!!!!!!:)

A truly reasoned response! :)