Womens interest in male nurses

[johny1]

I am a nursing student, currently studying to be an RN. I am really enjoying the experience, however I have an issue that is concerning me.

When chatting up women and the conversation comes up about what I do, and I reply studying nursing, their eyes widen and the mood seems to change. This is not related to women in the field but those outside. As soon as I utter the word nurse, I seem to go from a confident manly guy to a nice guy to them. I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring. Can’t a male nurse be sensitive and manly? Do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?

If a woman is able to climb the corporate ladder and make big money in business and still have sex appeal, does a man need to limit himself to traditional masculine roles to prove his maleness and be attractive to women or can he do a traditionally feminine job of helping and caring for people.

I understood that when women refer to equality, it is for both men and women. They it’s a great idea for men to be nurses, but individually, their actions seem to speak louder than their words.

I would be very interested in your opinions on this both guys and girls

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

It is interesting the judgements others make based on profession.

I do think you need to take a look at your own insecurities and make sure you're not projecting them on others. Just because someones eyes widened and mood changes doesn't mean they are suddenly thinking you're less confident and manly, and just "nice". They could be thinking a whole world of other positive things about you, and you're too insecure about presenting yourself as a nurse.

Also, women have different definitions of confidence and manliness nowadays. Nowadays a man can cry, hold his baby and change the diapers and still be considered confident and manly.

The important thing is not how others see you but how you see yourself. If you're confident in your own "manliness" (if manliness is an important trait for you to project to the world) then that's half the battle. People are going to think what they are going to think.

I hope I'm making sense. LOL

[Roy Fokker, BSN, RN]

The important thing is not how others see you but how you see yourself. If you're confident in your own "manliness" (if manliness is an important trait for you to project to the world) then that's half the battle. People are going to think what they are going to think.

I hope I'm making sense. LOL

I completely agree there Tweety :)

[johny1]

yeah tweety, maybe i am feeling a bit insecure about this, but this is because i get this reaction alot and its after i say i'm studying nursing. if its because of the stigma of a "male nurse" then i can only be the best nurse i can be and hope the stereotype changes in the future. if i'm no good at chatting women up then i don't want to use this as an excuse lol

[danfif]

Roy,

What, we have to be perfect too!!

Peace Out,

Dan

[NephroBSN, BSN, RN]

yeah tweety, maybe i am feeling a bit insecure about this, but this is because i get this reaction alot and its after i say i'm studying nursing. if its because of the stigma of a "male nurse" then i can only be the best nurse i can be and hope the stereotype changes in the future. if i'm no good at chatting women up then i don't want to use this as an excuse lol

personally, i'd rather work with the dreaded (sic) male nurse. they don't complain near as much, they get their work done, patients seem to like them.

and after all, isn't it the patient we should be concerned with more than anyone else.

if you meet a real woman she'll like you for being a real man.

it takes a very strong individual to think outside the box, and go where not many men go. if a woman see's that in you then she's worthy of your admiration too.

[johny1]

Thanks Nephro

I think I'm only concerned about this because Im single. Otherwise it would'nt bother me what people thought outside of my family and friends.

[CardioTrans, BSN, RN]

I had a picture a couple of years ago that an agency was doing to help promote men in nursing. The title of it was "It takes a real man to be a nurse". There were men in that picture that you would have been surprised to see as a nurse.

I dont care if you are male or female, it doesnt matter to me. I too would rather work with the guys not only because of the above mentioned traits, but because men are not as catty as some of the women I work with.

If this is what you want to do, then go for it. Dont let other people influence your decision.

[Tony35NYC]

I would say it all depends on one's interpretation of words such as 'caring', 'compassionate', 'sensitive', etc. as often applied to nurses in general. People who are staunchly into gender politics insist that 'real' men cannot, by nature, be any of these things. Then there are the assumptions that male nurses who are 'kind', 'gentle, and 'sweet' are gay.

As a man who happens to be a nurse I always find myself laughing at these generalizations. I can be kind, gentle, sweet, compassionate and all these nice things; but I can also be just as rough, tough, and competitive as anyone else. I prefer to be the type of nurse who sticks strictly to the matter of good patient care without getting too friendly or too close. I'm not an unfriendly person, but I've seen the downside of what can happen when the lines of professionalism are crossed and I'd rather not go there.

I've come to accept that it really doesn't matter which set of adjectives one uses to describe men in nursing, some people are just having a difficult time adjusting to the fact that nursing is no longer a female-only thing. There's still that perceived dissonance between being a man and being a nurse, and if its this bad now I can't even imagine what it was like for guys who came into this profession years ago.

[11:11]

I have never really experienced this type of predudice. To the contrary when I tell women I am a nurse, or when I was in school a nursing student, I always recieved respect.

The only comment I recieved from a women while in nursing school was another student who was complaining that all of the patients would be calling me "Doctor" instead of nurse.

When I was in school I was still single until my last couple of semesters when I met my wife. It made dating women easier if anything if you want to go there. I should think you would be making it work for you, not feeling somehow emasculated in the eyes of women you converse with.

As far as other men go, Some of my older friends introduce me as a "male nurse" but I think that is a generational thing.

In my other profession which is "manly" by its very nature, I have not heard one peep about me being a nurse, to my face or otherwise. To the contrary, the guys I roll with like having me around especially since our medic got hit.

Stand up and hold your head high-

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[johny1]

It made dating women easier if anything if you want to go there. I should think you would be making it work for you

Stand up and hold your head high-

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Thanks 11:11 thats just what I needed to hear!

Can I ask how your nursing ties into your other "manly" profession?

[NephroBSN, BSN, RN]

I would say it all depends on one's interpretation of words such as 'caring', 'compassionate', 'sensitive', etc. as often applied to nurses in general. People who are staunchly into gender politics insist that 'real' men cannot, by nature, be any of these things. Then there are the assumptions that male nurses who are 'kind', 'gentle, and 'sweet' are gay.

As a man who happens to be a nurse I always find myself laughing at these generalizations. I can be kind, gentle, sweet, compassionate and all these nice things; but I can also be just as rough, tough, and competitive as anyone else. I prefer to be the type of nurse who sticks strictly to the matter of good patient care without getting too friendly or too close. I'm not an unfriendly person, but I've seen the downside of what can happen when the lines of professionalism are crossed and I'd rather not go there.

I've come to accept that it really doesn't matter which set of adjectives one uses to describe men in nursing, some people are just having a difficult time adjusting to the fact that nursing is no longer a female-only thing. There's still that perceived dissonance between being a man and being a nurse, and if its this bad now I can't even imagine what it was like for guys who came into this profession years ago.

Can you expound on the "downside"?? Not sure I'm understanding what you are saying?

[11:11]

My other profession is the Infantry, combat arms.

Im not sure if the two "tie" into each other or not other than to say that there is nothing unmanly about nursing, and that I am knowledgable about patient care. I was able to convince our Battalion PA to add fenanyl lollipops to our formulary and Ive taught soldiers to question their care if they are not happy with it (ie anthrax vaccine).

Ironically, a few hunderd years ago nursing was the persuit of monestaries which was all male-

HTH

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