Mean girls....OR Bullying

Specialties Operating Room

Published

Hi all. :) Just wanted to vent and get a few takes on my current situation. I am a fairly new nurse (second career) and have been in the OR for about 1 year. I work in a large teaching hospital and I really love my job. I have recently completed orientation in the OR and now I am on my own in the rooms. I both circulate and scrub. I feel I have finally gotten a grasp on things and am doing well but I am still learning. I have been experiencing some rude behavior from co workers. I have been busting my butt to learn and grow and I have been told by my managers and nurse educator that they think I am doing well. Some days are better than others but an incident the other day made me question my abilities as a nurse. :(

An older nurse went to my nurse leader and told her that I 'looked lost''when I had gotten to the room that morning. :no:Normally there is a circulator and a scrub. This day there was 3 of us scheduled so we were trying to figure out who should do what and I was told by my nurse leader that I was to help circulate. Ok fine. The other circulating nurse was complaining the whole time that she was scheduled to leave and do lunches later that afternoon and obviously she didn't want to do it. After complaining about me "looking lost" to my nurse leader and then to the charge nurse, I was told to do the lunches so she could remain in the room. Later I was called into the nurse leader's office and asked how I was doing and she told me about the comment. I had been working in rooms on my own for at least 3 weeks and never had an issue and this nurse used the fact that I was new to her advantage, making me look incompetent in the process. And the whole time we were talking and working together like everything was fine. :nono:

Now I feel like other nurses are starting to look at me as if I don't know what I'm doing but after working with me clearly see that I am perfectly capable. How could someone do that?:unsure: I was so upset and broke down crying in her office, not just from this incident but from many others this past year. I am really fed up and know in my heart that I am doing an awesome job. I used to go to work with a smile on my face and excited to start the day. Now I feel bitter and disgust at some of the nurses I have to work with. I want my old happy self back. How do I deal with these nurse on a daily basis and keep my sanity? I'm thinking of leaving and starting over somewhere else. I know it's not that bad but I hate how I feel these days. I love being an OR nurse and I will die a nurse, but I now have headaches and heart palpitations every now and then because of the tremendous stress I feel.:nailbiting:

P.S. I have gotten confirmation from an experienced nurse that I am doing an awesome job and that there are "mean girls" in our OR.:snurse:

Specializes in Pediatric and Adult OR, Tele.

Unfortunately the OR can be a place where strong personalities can lead to problems like you have come across. I would not put much weight on this until you have a sit-down with the people involved. Most of the time these situations are not quite as bad as you feel they are and just require clarifying things. As someone who was new and now has experience and trains new people, I have seen a lot of different responses by staff. People who have worked in the OR for a long time have really had to earn their badges in many situations. It can be a very tough place to work and has a very steep learning curve. Give respect where it is due, but don't allow people to walk all over you. Respectfully and professionally confront the person you feel is the offender. Most of the time that will help. The fact that you made it through orientation is an accomplishment in itself so nice job! Be careful how you approach seasoned OR staff. Start by stating you respect their experience and appreciate feedback directly if they feel there are things you can improve of. Hope that helps! Keep your head up and keep striving to learn! The OR is an amazing place to work!

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Specializes in Operating Room.

I took the OPs claim of awesome meaning that she's surviving and doing well off of orientation, not that she thinks she's the best circulator out there.

Op, there are a couple of possible scenarios here. One, you may have truly looked lost. If you were precepting with me, I would have addressed it there and then. I would have asked you if you were comfortable with what you were doing or had questions or concerns. I would have not gone behind your back.

Two, the other circulator was pissed that she had to do lunches so she figured that if she threw you under the bus, she'd get to take over the room. To me, this is the likely scenario. Also, it f you are that "lost", why have you do lunches? People that give breaks have to be able to cover pretty much anything to be useful. I have also witnessed schedule drama in the OR. People fight over rooms, being free and call all f the time. So, she got her way.

It sucks, but don't let this bog you down. Just make a promise to yourself that when you are experienced, you won't be as much of a jerk. ;)

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Specializes in PICU.
I took the OPs claim of awesome meaning that she's surviving and doing well off of orientation, not that she thinks she's the best circulator out there.

This is what I took "awesome job" to mean as well. That for being three weeks off of orientation she is doing a good job.

I think with the extra person in the room it probably did throw you off and the other person was made about the lunches. Try your best to shrug it off. it won't always be this way. Next time try and discuss who will be doing what ahead of time.

Keep it up!

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Thanks for your comment Invitale...you are right, perception of me is one thing and the reality of me is another. I have not been holding anything against this nurse. We still work together daily and I have never brought it up.

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Thank Jdsmom, I have been trying to keep a cool head and remember that everyone has their reasons for the things they do. I have gotten very vital feedback from those more experienced than me and the last thing I want to do is make them feel as though I don't need them and I am a know it all. I learn everyday and I try to keep a positive attitude about it all.

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I took the OPs claim of awesome meaning that she's surviving and doing well off of orientation, not that she thinks she's the best circulator out there.

Op, there are a couple of possible scenarios here. One, you may have truly looked lost. If you were precepting with me, I would have addressed it there and then. I would have asked you if you were comfortable with what you were doing or had questions or concerns. I would have not gone behind your back.

Two, the other circulator was pissed that she had to do lunches so she figured that if she threw you under the bus, she'd get to take over the room. To me, this is the likely scenario. Also, it f you are that "lost", why have you do lunches? People that give breaks have to be able to cover pretty much anything to be useful. I have also witnessed schedule drama in the OR. People fight over rooms, being free and call all f the time. So, she got her way.

It sucks, but don't let this bog you down. Just make a promise to yourself that when you are experienced, you won't be as much of a jerk. ;)

Yes! GadgetRN71 I like that you said I won't be as much of a jerk when I am experienced. I will always take into consideration how challenging it is to be new at something and need positive reinforcement to continue to grow. The OR drama gets to me sometimes so thank you for helping me focus on the the positive....and yah! I did cover those lunches and it wasn't at all easy so I hear where you are coming from. Thanks for your comment!

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I took the OPs claim of awesome meaning that she's surviving and doing well off of orientation, not that she thinks she's the best circulator out there.

This is what I took "awesome job" to mean as well. That for being three weeks off of orientation she is doing a good job.

I think with the extra person in the room it probably did throw you off and the other person was made about the lunches. Try your best to shrug it off. it won't always be this way. Next time try and discuss who will be doing what ahead of time.

Keep it up!

Thanks RNNPICU,BSN,RN I will shrug it off and keep on moving. I love the OR and I will continue to do my best everyday

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Specializes in Med Surg, PCU, Travel.

Hate to say it but some nurses, especially the experienced ones are just plain stupid jerks. They pretend to be friends to your face then go talking behind your back. Its happened to me and I just blow them off. I never hope to be like that...why can't the experience nurses simply say hey these are the things you should prioritize and do these steps a b c and everything should be fine. Nope...they always have to rip someone's life apart to make their's look important.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Hate to say it but some nurses, especially the experienced ones are just plain stupid jerks. They pretend to be friends to your face then go talking behind your back. Its happened to me and I just blow them off. I never hope to be like that...why can't the experience nurses simply say hey these are the things you should prioritize and do these steps a b c and everything should be fine. Nope...they always have to rip someone's life apart to make their's look important.

Why experienced nurses to simply say "there are the things you should prioritize and do these steps a, b and c" -- lots of reasons.

We want to teach you to think on your own because there will come a time when YOU are the most experienced nurse on the unit.

Because we don't always have the time to think for ourselves and do our assignment and then prioritize and plan for you, too, because he haven't learned to.

As far as "ripping someones life apart and making their's look important" -- it's not the experienced nurse doing that to the newbies. It's the newbies complaining that some seasoned nurse with a wealth of expertise and experience to pass on is "just an ugly old hag" who couldn't possibly know anything worth knowing because if they DID, they'd just regurgitate it to me when I need it.

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True, there are "mean OR nurses", however, suck it up. Do what you know is right and not worry about what others think. Not everyone will love you or hate you. Some people are hard to work with. Too many newer nurses want a "kum bay yah" experience every day and that is not going to happen. This is your second profession? Maybe you should look inside yourself. It is not the other nurses jobs to make you "feel good" every day. You have to be tough to last in any nursing job. We take care of people when they are at their worst. If you want to be happy, then be happy and don't depend on coworkers to constantly give you praises. It won't happen. This may sound harsh but this is reality on all levels. OR nursing is stressful. Some can make it look easy, some can't . Every profession has mean girls. Don't be one of those nurses who falls prey to them. Have confidence in yourself, admit your mistakes and be nice...Just saying

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True, there are "mean OR nurses", however, suck it up. Do what you know is right and not worry about what others think. Not everyone will love you or hate you. Some people are hard to work with. Too many newer nurses want a "kum bay yah" experience every day and that is not going to happen. This is your second profession? Maybe you should look inside yourself. It is not the other nurses jobs to make you "feel good" every day. You have to be tough to last in any nursing job. We take care of people when they are at their worst. If you want to be happy, then be happy and don't depend on coworkers to constantly give you praises. It won't happen. This may sound harsh but this is reality on all levels. OR nursing is stressful. Some can make it look easy, some can't . Every profession has mean girls. Don't be one of those nurses who falls prey to them. Have confidence in yourself, admit your mistakes and be nice...Just saying

:up: Kum Bay Yah!

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Specializes in Med Surg, PCU, Travel.
Why experienced nurses to simply say "there are the things you should prioritize and do these steps a, b and c" -- lots of reasons.

We want to teach you to think on your own because there will come a time when YOU are the most experienced nurse on the unit.

Because we don't always have the time to think for ourselves and do our assignment and then prioritize and plan for you, too, because he haven't learned to.

As far as "ripping someones life apart and making their's look important" -- it's not the experienced nurse doing that to the newbies. It's the newbies complaining that some seasoned nurse with a wealth of expertise and experience to pass on is "just an ugly old hag" who couldn't possibly know anything worth knowing because if they DID, they'd just regurgitate it to me when I need it.

I equate that to giving a 16 year old the keys to your new BMW and saying to them go learn to drive. Very dangerous!

We all know nursing schoool does not teach about real world nursing, as a new nurse I not saying do all my homework, or hold my hand and walk me to each of my patients, just give me some pointers and tools to make it in the real world...thats all we ask. Eventually our questions will become fewer and we will figure things out.

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