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marriage and nursing school

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I am almost halfway done with nursing school, and lately it has been a little hard on my husband. He's extremely supportive and understanding, but at times we really struggle. I also work part time as a student nurse tech (awesome opportunity and learning experience!). My husband is in the air force and we recently moved out of state from all our friends and family. I know he gets bored a lot and I think he's lonely. I try really hard to make time for him, but I just feel like it is not enough. I always feel guilty when I am studying for hours and he's just downstairs hanging out by himself :( Anybody have any tips or advice?

vintagemother

Specializes in Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC,.

Is he so lonely for you that he's willing to help you study by quizzing you with your flash cards or NCLEX questions?

My opinion, is, if he will help you study for a subject he is not into himself, then he is super trying.

As for me, only my young kids were willing to do this.

Therefore, I'm of the (albeit may be unpopular ) opinion that you should just study as you need to. He can get mad or throw accusations all he wants but if he won't devote to your career in a meaningful way , then you deserve it to yourself to do what is best. For you.

Haha I know what you mean. He occasionally will do this for me, but Im sure you know, he gets super bored because he has no idea what Im talking about.

JNcCole15

Specializes in Emergency. Has 1 years experience.

I know how you feel! I feel like I am not giving my hubby the time and attention he deserves! Between school and the kids we don't have much time together. No matter what, I always make at least ONE day that I am not doing any school work when he gets home from work. We sit, talk, play with the kids or watch a movie. It helps us stay connected. I agree that him helping you study would be a great way to spend time together as well. Good news is, you're almost done! This is only a temporary situation and your marriage is a lifetime!

Haha I know what you mean. He occasionally will do this for me, but Im sure you know, he gets super bored because he has no idea what Im talking about.

Tell him you have to practice doing patient teaching, and ask if he can let you know if you're explaining it well enough. This is actually true about just about anything you'll have to study. Bonus: You will learn it better!

Red Kryptonite

Specializes in hospice. Has 3 years experience.

Tell him you have to practice doing patient teaching, and ask if he can let you know if you're explaining it well enough. This is actually true about just about anything you'll have to study. Bonus: You will learn it better!

And after that, tell him you need to practice head to toe assessment. ;)

And after that, tell him you need to practice head to toe assessment. ;)

That still works for me.

Seriously, though, it sounds like your husband needs to develop a hobby or find some friends to hang out with. You aren't going to have time to entertain him.

One night a week together and at least half an hour of communication a day should help keep things on an even keel without taking too much time away from your schoolwork.

vintagemother

Specializes in Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC,.

And after that, tell him you need to practice head to toe assessment. ;)

Honestly! Yes this to! Make it a game. I did!! 😉😊]

BeachsideRN, ASN

Specializes in NICU. Has 2 years experience.

I feel Ya. My husband works full time and we have a toddler. It's very hard and I often feel like I am neglecting them. But the juice is worth the squeeze. I do schedule time to sorbs with them. We go to the park, I bring notecards. We hang out and watch movies on Sunday's then I study after the baby goes to bed. It is hard. But it will be worth it.

I think making sure that you make time for the two of you as often as you can (without sacrificing your studying) and try to incorporate him into your studying (I did this with my youngest child before he started school this year....he would study with me...I would explain what I was studying in a way he understood....it helped me to make sure I was getting it....they say if you can teach it to someone else you really understand it)

also remember this is a temporary thing.....an IMPORTANT thing.....but it will be over before you know it.....I KNOW my husband feels neglected sometimes....I feel like I am studying every spare second.....or crawling into bed exhausted....and he just doesn't get the time/attention he is used to....the kids too (although they get my attention more than he does) but through the years we have been through so many different situations......sometimes it's my turn to carry things and be the understanding wife who deals with not getting the attention I need.....and sometimes (like now) it's his turn.....and like magic.....every once in awhile the stars align and everything balances out and it feels like no one is sacrificing and we all get plenty of time together and life is amazing......but it's always in cycles.

So what I'm saying....is do what you can without killing yourself......and know that in time things will balance out and this phase will end! Just hang tight!!

TooManyCats, ASN, BSN

Specializes in Critical Care. Has 3 years experience.

I'm a full time student and we have two very young children, and my husband works 80 hour weeks most of the time. We NEVER see each other, but we are working toward a common goal and make an effort to spend breaks and weekends as a family. It's hard, but you'll get through it!

windsurfer8, BSN

Specializes in Psych/Military Nursing. Has 13 years experience.

Well have you asked him how he feels about it? You feel "guilty"??? Did you discuss you would be in nursing school and nursing school requires massive studying? What about when he deploys and you could be "bored" as well. Talk and communicate. Come up with a plan of times to be together. He may not be bored and lonely. And if he is then HE needs to find something to do..not you. Adults are responsible for themselves whether they are married or not.