marriage and nursing school

MzMouse · May 3, 2009

Nursing school was hard on my marriage. Not because he wasn't supportive of me going to school; it was lack of time and attention. It was hard, but we got through it. If I had to do it again; I would have made more time for him-but it's hard.

missy--kay · May 3, 2009

NS has been hard on our marriage, but I take the full blame. He is nothing but wonderful, to me and our 2 kids (7 and 12). I am just so stressed and wore out. If I'm not studying, then I'm writing a paper, or chart studying, or at clinicals, or in lecture, or in study group, or, or, or,....

I feel like I have actually lost a part of myself and can't remember what I liked to do for fun before NS.

I will graduate in a year, and it will be so nice to get my life back!!!

There is absolutely no way that I could have come this far without my hubby. He is amazing... and if our relationship was rocky before NS, we'd probably be divorced by now.

Good luck!

oyin_sussy · May 3, 2009

Why on earth wil some pple not understand their spouse or partner? Why are men being unsupported when it turns 2 women's turn 2 develop her career? It's not fair. We should try her best not 2 make our relationship or marriage broken bcos we want 2 advance in life. But, wait a minute, we women are always supporting our spouse when it comes 2 supporting our men. Why shud they turn us down when it comes 2 our turn? My advice is that we should always being supportive if we truly love ourselves! Wish u best in ur nursing career. Our men stop being d foe against our career bcos when we finally make it we both enjoy it! We need ur encouragement! Stop discouraging d up-coming nurses pls. Good Luck 2 al nurses. Best of al career ever!

coffee4metech · May 3, 2009

Well when I started school my husband had openly expressed concern about me moving up in education and society . Unfortunately everybody has insecurities in life but for men in particular its sucessful women . My DH asked me not to forget him in the midst of my education and career and he was sincere about this request. I feel the same way but with other situations so we all need to be honest in how we feel and with marriage pick your battles . In reference to men being insecure with having a successful wife I 'm not speaking for all men . Just keep in mind peoples true colors come out when life gets hard and stressful so just keep that in mind .

PlourdieRN · May 3, 2009

I am just completing my first semester of NS. I started out with my boyfriend of almost-5 years, we never had problems, we rarely fought and I thought everything was going well....

And NS wasn't even wearing me down, I love school so much more than my current job that I was the happiest girl around!

Then one week before midterms the boyfriend decides to end things. I still don't have a clue why. My only interpretation is that while I was working towards a new career, he felt like he was going nowhere. And while I did not put strain on him while I was in school, I did want to know that he would be there for me if I needed help and support... clearly he wasn't mature enough to handle that!

So I had to recover, find a new apartment, move out/move in and study for my midterms all within the same week!

Got an A- after all that and I'm doing just fine... I guess I was the stronger person!

Anyways I never realized that relationships are strained during NS... even the seemingly happy stable relationships that don't have the added stress of kids and/or mortgages

GilaRRT · May 3, 2009

This husband/boyfriend feeling threatened phenomena is curious. Is the reverse true of male students? I find the competition between my wife and I is refreshing, challenging, and fun.

desert_MP, BSN, RN · May 3, 2009

Here's my situation:

Im married for three years, have two children-one is a 2 year old boy and one is a 7 month old daugther. My wife is a homemaker/part time dog obedience trainer. We own our house (Thank GOD no mortgage payment, just the 4K/year taxes). Needless to say, nursing school does bring a lot of stress into the home. Especially on nights when I may have a study group but she has a client. Who takes the kids? Beings I'm former military, I often function on few hours of sleep per night which isnt a big deal for me.

With that being said..our faith and belief in God can carry us through anything. When times get really tough we Pray. If something so small as nursing school or a little bit of stress can break my marriage--then it was never meant to be. I can think of a lot worse things

desert_MP, BSN, RN · May 3, 2009

Unfortunately everybody has insecurities in life but for men in particular its sucessful women .

Ouch I applaud successful women! If my wife made more than me I'd be ecstatic. Oh wait...she does

Trauma Columnist · May 3, 2009

I can say that NS was a piece of cake compared to what other real trials we have been thru in 30 years. NS was hard but if this is the hardest part of your marriage, consider yourself lucky. And..I don't mean to demean anyone having problems. I just think (personal opinion) that in life you have to realize that not everything is roses and sunshine. How you handle NS and associated stress might be a barometer for the future.

Take care and I wish everyone the best of luck.

hallcrest · May 3, 2009

i'm about to start nursing school...thanks everyone for your thoughts and for being open about challenges you faced (except for those who made this a soapbox about insecure men when the original poster didn't mention that this was the issue at hand).

i'm really excited about the opportunity to do school - my wife already has a carreer that can support us all through school. i'm thankful for her because she is supportive of me wanting to go in a new direction with school. otherwise, i'd still be selling houses and hating it!

good luck to you guys.

keithjones · May 3, 2009

Every person has a 50%+ chance of their spouse calling it quits during the course of their marriage. For anyone to fear that their partner may use them for 2-4 years to pay all the bills and take up the slack is not unreasonable. Then they use their newfound income to split with the kids sticking you with all the credit card bills and $800 a month in child support bills. trust me your spouse works with a bunch of people this has happened to. for those of you who split after NS where your partners fears unwaeranted? If you go through NS and are married reassure your spouse that this if for both of your futures together. try to settle him/her don't judge their fear or ridicule them. it is going to be hard on both of you. my wife of 8 years and I are embarking on NS togetherl Hopefully we can support one another in our struggles together and grow as a result. after living several years off of $28k a yearwe look forward to the lifestyle that 2 nursing incomes can afford us.

loveshospital · May 4, 2009

i'm about to start nursing school...thanks everyone for your thoughts and for being open about challenges you faced (except for those who made this a soapbox about insecure men when the original poster didn't mention that this was the issue at hand).
i'm really excited about the opportunity to do school - my wife already has a carreer that can support us all through school. i'm thankful for her because she is supportive of me wanting to go in a new direction with school. otherwise, i'd still be selling houses and hating it!
good luck to you guys.

But the truth is that some significant others (sad to say it) are jealous and insecure in relationships.If this wouldnt be the case than many marriages wouldnt have to struggle through many problems that they do.Confident people with their own careers and hobbies usually are flattered by their second half attempts to better themselves,however these cases are rare.