marriage and nursing school

[beatrice1]

I am curious if there is anyone else out there that has found nursing school to be a big strain on your marriage.

Not saying things were perfect before but... I have found that ever since going to school to become a nurse things have just been a whole lot different around here. I have the support but... the stress, less income and time apart because of studying is taking a big toll. Not sure where my energy should go to at this point, the marriage or the career. Doesn't seem fair to have to choose!

[Midwest4me]

not sure where my energy should go to at this point, the marriage or the career. doesn't seem fair to have to choose!

is he asking or demanding that you choose? your marriage came before nursing school. the vow "for better or for worse"(or something like that) should mean something to both of you. nursing school is short-lived. your marriage is (hopefully) forever. you need to channel energy into both committments...but truly, in my opinion, the marriage is the most important of the two committments.

[loveshospital]

Why on earth wil some pple not understand their spouse or partner? Why are men being unsupported when it turns 2 women's turn 2 develop her career? It's not fair. We should try her best not 2 make our relationship or marriage broken bcos we want 2 advance in life. But, wait a minute, we women are always supporting our spouse when it comes 2 supporting our men. Why shud they turn us down when it comes 2 our turn? My advice is that we should always being supportive if we truly love ourselves! Wish u best in ur nursing career. Our men stop being d foe against our career bcos when we finally make it we both enjoy it! We need ur encouragement! Stop discouraging d up-coming nurses pls. Good Luck 2 al nurses. Best of al career ever!

I totally agree with you. Women who take pride in their achievement and have ambitions are considered radical feminists,which is so blown out of proportions.Just because we women want something more than cooking and taking care of the household doesnt necessary mean with lost our feminine side,we just want to share our knowledge and contribute to the wisdom of the world:)

[loveshospital]

is he asking or demanding that you choose? your marriage came before nursing school. the vow "for better or for worse"(or something like that) should mean something to both of you. nursing school is short-lived. your marriage is (hopefully) forever. you need to channel energy into both committments...but truly, in my opinion, the marriage is the most important of the two committments.

that is not fair of him to ask her to choose,why cant she have both?thousand of women have done it why cant she do it?

[loveshospital]

And one last word (sorry but could not help myself...) Why cant he be supportive for a year or two?Make sacrifices for only transient time,we women cook and clean and raise our children our whole lives but when a man is put into the position to help out,everyone makes a huge deal out of it,compromise is the best solution to conflicts in marriages,not surrounding to the other halves wishes,desires,plans and no I'm not a radical feminists.

[Midwest4me]

that is not fair of him to ask her to choose,why cant she have both?thousand of women have done it why cant she do it?

actually, the original poster, beatrice1, never really stated that her spouse was forcing her to make a choice between him and nursing school. i agree--she should be able to have both---a good marriage(one in which both partners compromise) and a nursing career---but the marriage came before nursing school. this is just my opinion...just as others have expressed theirs.

[LaneRN]

I have till August 3 until I finsh the PN program. My BF has been very suportive, cooking, cleaning and even making sure things are quite when I am studying. He even sat both of my kids who are older down and explained the importance of nursing school to them and all of our futures. I have had the greatest support from all of them and will let all of them know when I finish just how much I appreciate all of their understanding during the last year of stress, and more stress. But I have friends who are not so lucky. About half of the women in my class are either leaving their BF's are divorcing their husbands afterwards. Most of them had stable relationships or so they say before this. They have not gotten the support that they needed from their husbands. Some of their husbands or BF's have cheated or something else. I know school is very stressful, the lack of together time as well as feeling second to school I guess is what happens to alot of relationships. One girls husband is jealous of her new career. I just don't understand. maybe some of us are just lucky or something.

[beatrice1]

actually, the original poster, beatrice1, never really stated that her spouse was forcing her to make a choice between him and nursing school. i agree--she should be able to have both---a good marriage(one in which both partners compromise) and a nursing career---but the marriage came before nursing school. this is just my opinion...just as others have expressed theirs.

i am the original poster... thank you for all your input and responses. let me make myself more clear, i didn't say that my husband "is forcing me to make a choice" i just "feel" that it seems that i have to make a choice to put all my energy into nursing school or all my energy into the marriage (cause things are getting rough).

i was only wondering if this is normal for nursing students whom are married or if i am just going through a bad time in my marriage (nursing school or not)

[husker_rn, RN]

I went back to school in my late 30's; while interviewing I was warned that about 30% of the students ended up divorced. That by virtue of education, they changed and spouses sometimes had trouble with that. Did see some problems for fellow students.......luckily I was blessed with a wonderful man who was always there for me. Keeps me grounded to this day.