Manager problems :(

[ExaltedNurse]

I've been working for the same boss for about three years now, and pretty much know her M.O. She's very indirect, if she has a problem with you, she'll tell everyone else in her "clique", and not you. (We work in a very small unit, and she's not so good at talking quietly, I've overheard her many times doing this to other nurses)

The only clue you'll have that there's something wrong is she'll act rude to your face, not say "hello", ignore you when you ask her a question, that kind of immature nonsense.

Now she has a problem with me, as I have detected by the tactics mentioned above. I tried to ask her what the problem was, and she proceeded to ignore me and call the nursing supervisor about some other issue, right in front of me. I asked her in an informal way, in the break room, so maybe she didn't get the question, or maybe there's no dealing with this kind of person, and I should look for another job.

It's very uncomfortable to work in this environment, and I honestly dread going to work when I know she'll be there. I have a military background, and have no problems with people yelling at me, as long as I know what I have done, and what I can do to improve. I have no problems with hard work. But I have a lot of problems with this whole high-school mentality, and back-stabbing. I doubt if I told this manager my feelings that anything would improve. I suspect she's been dealing with life this way for a long time, and it would be hard to change her habits now.

I like my job, love the setting, and the type of patients, I like the rest of the hospital, almost everything else about it is good.

What would you do? Go to HR?

[Jules A, MSN]

Hi,

I really don't have experience with this thank goodness but since you have listed all the things you do like about your facility I'd be very hesitant to change jobs at this point. Personally I'd figure: What the heck? If she isn't going to tell me what I did wrong I would assume it is nothing important and just go about my business until you hear differently. What a shame she is such a putz. Hang in there.

[shoegalRN, RN]

Well, I can't say I've had this issue before in the past. Most of my managers have been direct if they've had an issue with me.

It don't sound like she likes confortation. To me, she is showing some very passive aggressive type of behavior and I wouldnt feed into it. If she has a problem with you, the mature thing is to come to you directly, not talk to others about the issue with you and then ignore you whe you attempt to resolve the issue. If this is how she handles conflict, then she dont need to be a manager in my opinion.

And if this is starting to affect your work environment, I would suggest a formal meeting with her, yourself, and the supervisor to see if y'all can reach some type of resolution.

[debi49]

Sheesh! going by your description, this person sounds immature, passive-aggressive and lacking in the leadership skills necessary to manage a staff or unit. If someone on her staff needs correction, a good supervisor uses it as a teachable moment, not deal with it by giving staff the cold shoulder and hope they are mindreaders.

Get a transfer to another unit. You are right when you say she wont change. If asked why you want to transfer units, say something about lack of leadership and direction on your unit and leave it at that. I'd be surprised if the higher ups dont already know about her, but havent done anything to change things.

[Ivanna_Nurse, BSN, RN]

OMG. I think we work in the same unit..... I decided to find a different job. I guess it depends on exactly how much it bothers you and how much you like the department. I do know that from my experience, passive aggressive stuff from management really seems to damage the morale to the point where there isnt any left at all, and show those in the unit how to backstab, gossip and be catty.

Really. I think we work in the same unit. Ivanna

[Ivanna_Nurse, BSN, RN]

By the way, :wlcmggrp:

[RN1982]

Sorry you are having problems with your boss. If she is making your workplace hostile, then leave. If she cannot talk to you about her issues with you, then leave it at that. She's obviously too passive aggressive and too immature and doesn't know how to handle issues on a mature level. Go to work, do your job and go home.

[MzMouse]

I sympathize. I have job I enjoy and a manager who can't manage her way out of a paper bag. She can't make a decision, does not seem to value input from her staff and delegates all the crappy jobs she does not want to do herself.

I have considered finding another job, but like you I really enjoy just about everything else about my current position. Things can always get worse.

[jerenemarie]

if you are really uncomfortable or frustrated with your manager, start documenting situations as they occur with dates, times, witnesses, place, etc. then schedule a meeting with hr or her immediate supervisor and the manager herself (don't this alone!). i had to do this one time and it does work!

[Straydandelion]

I had something similar. I loved the original NM but she left and was replaced by one also passive-aggressive. Though I never had direct dealings with her.....nor problems, I saw it with others as you did. I decided the worry and stress even though I enjoyed working there was just too much and left. The new area was wonderful and I was never sorry I left.

[IndySkies]

Even if you like everything other thing about the unit you work except this behavior of your manager it is better to leave now rather than later. The problem is if she has some problem with you and you never can be sure what it is, how you can correct it, or even confront it, suddenly you're reputation in that hospital is ruined, or you're out of a job, or even worse, and it's what the ? just happened.

Worse case senario is your career is ruined and you never really knew what was going on.

[rn4babies63]

Wow! We must work at the same place! One reason I left my job was because of the manager. I stayed casual but only work weekends so I don't have to see her. She was the same way. She'd sit around and talk about her nurses and ignore you if you said hello to her and looked her straight in the face.