Question for male nursing students/nurses in regards to family...

Nursing Students Male Students

Published

Hi, how goes it? I am 28 year's old getting married end of November. Decided nursing is the route for me and started my journey knocking prerequisites out. I so far have only taken Psych 101 again, but come fall taking Math (Not sure why I need four math classes as a prereq) and A&P 1.

Now reason I am posting this is this dilemma in my head. I apologize for being sexist, but as men we are the ones who are the leader in the family. We provide the financial stability. As I said we are getting married come November. Fiancée is finishing up LPN school come February of next year, so we are getting hitched during the Thanksgiving break. Will probably be shacked up at the Mother in Law till fiancée can find work as an LPN.

As you can see we are not the most financially stable individuals in the world. I struggle just to pay out of pocket for my prerequisites, why not taking any classes this summer.

I work a job where I signed up part time to work 24 hours, but I manage to pick up full time here and there. At the moment struggle finding a second job to fill in the holes and can fit with my variable schedule at work. I turned down a few full time jobs. One being at night that would of probably been great for nursing school, but made $4 less an hour then I already do so didn't think was worth it.

Here lies the dilemma I should be done with prerequisites if I can afford it by the Fall of 2017 and apply to programs. I mean what I have left is: Statistics, Microbiology, Chemistry 1, A&P 2, Developmental Psych. That allow me to apply to the CC's in my state, at least 2 4 year BSN programs, and two accelerated program. If wanted to apply to another accelerated program have to take a Genetics prerequisite and I might be able to apply to another 4 year college, but might have to take Chem 2.

Question is if I am accepted into an ABSN program one requires you to sign a contract not to work more then 10 hours a week and another suggest after the first semester to not work at all.

In my opinion I need to work. Have bills to pay and rent to pay. Also need to keep health insurance up for me and my future wife.

My biggest concern is if I do a 2 year or 4 year (Basically 2 to 3 year program) I won't be done till 2020. I will be 33 year's old. Fiancée thankfully for now wants to hold off having children for the first year of the marriage and possibly the second; I have little control over that it is her body.

Question is any male fathers here in nursing school or nurses have young children when going through nursing school?

Was it possible? Did you survive? Did you quit and find a stable job?

What you think should I go for the ABSN?

I am hoping to get into the night ASN program, but believe one is ending and only one will be left in the State...kind of bummed on that.

Appreciate the feedback.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency.

If you already have a bachelor's in another field why would you apply to a 4 year program? Makes no sense to me.

And y'all might want to don the flame retardant garb for the reaction to the manly man comments you made.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

There is programs where you can jump into the 3rd year of school with your previous Bachelor's do 2 years (full time) and 3 (part time). My only concern is jumping into the ABSN program wouldn't be able to work and be supportive with the family.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

No flames here. You're really lucky to have a great relationship with someone who appears to be much less worried about the whole "breadwinner" thing than you are. Could it be that you're setting the bar too high based on your own preconceived notions of a masculine role? Money is not the only valuable thing that is essential for a solid relationship. Commitment, trust, caring, respect, etc. . . without those, it won't matter how much money you have.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with accepting help when you need it. That's what family is for. Your fiancee and (future) in-laws believe in you and want to support you (emotionally and financially). You'd do the same for them if the situation was reversed, right?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I don't know I wonder if I should put my nursing dream on hold. I mean I live paycheck to paycheck a week. With my bills I pay $1100 a month. Add in the $1100 I pay a Semester to take classss at college. Once fiancée is done she is going to have to pay off her debt from her previous college degree. In nursing school I feel I have to work 24 hour's just to support a newborn. If I do drop to 10 hour's between fiancée and I be only $3600 a month is it enough.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I was married during my ASN program. My wife and I both worked, with my wife quitting work once we had our daughter (about 6 weeks prior to graduation).

I can't speak to your specific colleges, but first off if you have to sign saying you won't work more than 10 hours then don't do so. I believe that a real man is one of integrity. Maybe that means going to a different program or if you start and truly need to work to survive, then I would have that conversation with the college. Lying does not build the trust with the faculty which you need. Who knows, maybe a scholarship or two might come your way if they knew your situation.

For me personally I worked throughout my entire ASN program averaging over 30 hrs/wk. Yes school did come a little easier then it does for some, but don't let that be your excuse. Great time management makes up for a lot. One of my favorite quotes came from the instructor of my graduate statistics course. He asked me, "How much time does it take for a grad student to write a research paper?" Me, "I don't know, how much time?" My instructor replied, "However much time he/she has!!" The point is you will have time for what you have to have time for. I noticed that on the weeks that I worked less, the number of hours spent studying remained pretty close to the same, but the hours on Youtube went up.

Just my 2 cents...

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I am stuck on doing the ADN or BSN...guaranteed to continue to work for the Hospital with a BSN and less competition...need 70% TEAS and 3.0 on your 7 prerequisites for the area BSNs. ADN cheaper, more competitive 85% or higher on your TEAS, and have to leave my current employer.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in EMT since 92, Paramedic since 97, RN and PHRN 2021.

Get your ADN, work in a hospital that has tuition reimbursement. Get the BSN while working and have them pay for it and if they know you are in the program to get your BSN you will be more likely to get hired or get retained!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I probably will have to leave my current hospital like I said work in nursing home/rehab if I do the ADN. I am okay with that I like working with Geris, but believe Corrections in the State hasn't fully converted to BSN being a requirement might give that a go. Then do an online MSN Program.

I think I do am ABSN if I can get a loan to cover my bills and would be able to work 16 to 24 hour's.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Congratulations! On your upcoming marriage. I would go easy on yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day and nursing school is a process. Take one day at a time. Enjoy your marriage.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER, ICU.

This sounds like a serious adult problem! I worked full time through both paramedic and nursing school. I was single, then married. Sometimes you have to bite off more than you can chew, then chew it! There is a path in there somewhere that will work for you. I wouldn't sign a contract to limit work. That might work for the school but not for you. Pick the shortest path to getting your RN. Once you start to work, you will have stability and a decent wage. If you need further education get it later. I went right for the ASN (1 year), then because of a previous BM, was able to cut right to my MSN. Done and done! Good luck.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med-Tele; ED; ICU.

I'll ignore the sexist comments with which you introduced your statement; I'll leave it to others to flame those.

Here lies the dilemma I should be done with prerequisites if I can afford it by the Fall of 2017 and apply to programs. I mean what I have left is: Statistics, Microbiology, Chemistry 1, A&P 2, Developmental Psych. That allow me to apply to the CC's in my state, at least 2 4 year BSN programs, and two accelerated program. If wanted to apply to another accelerated program have to take a Genetics prerequisite and I might be able to apply to another 4 year college, but might have to take Chem 2.
I don't see the dilemma. Choose the school(s) that meet your needs and complete the prerequisites in a competitive fashion and then apply.

My biggest concern is if I do a 2 year or 4 year (Basically 2 to 3 year program) I won't be done till 2020.
Well, yeah, obviously. Set up a budget and figure out what you can afford and how to make it work. Perhaps you will need to work for a few years to save money in advance. Perhaps you will be able to handle working and being a student. Perhaps your lady will need to work a second job. Perhaps you will need to borrow money through student loans or from family or with credit cards. Figure out your assets and liabilities, your revenues and expenses, and the expected cost of your studies and then plan accordingly. Grown-up 101 stuff, you know?

Question is any male fathers here in nursing school or nurses have young children when going through nursing school?

Was it possible? Did you survive? Did you quit and find a stable job?

I was a male father in nursing school with a 1st grader, and a wife who left me during nursing school.

Was it possible? Of course... nearly anything is possible with a sufficient amount of effort and sacrifice coupled with a modicum of good fortune.

Did I survive? I presume that's a rhetorical question since anybody who didn't survive would not be present to answer the question. Did it suck? Yeah, it did. Was it worth it? Yeah, it was.

Did I quit? Nope, quitting ain't how I go through life. I adapt and overcome. Always have and always will... until I don't and then I'll toss my cards onto the table and leave the game.

Did I find a stable job? Eventually. It took nigh on 3 years after graduation to get it but I ultimately did. Read again that part about effort, sacrifice, and adapting in order to overcome.

Should you... I think you should enter whichever program will graduate you in the nearest term possible; with one caveat, that is... You need to determine whether the employers in the area in which you plan to reside prefer baccalaureate degrees. If they do, going the community college route may leave you unable to compete for the jobs that you want.

Good luck to you.

(And a bit of advice: While there are more and more guys in nursing, there are still a lot of ladies at all levels, including senior leadership. Your "me man, me the leader" attitude will get you into trouble if it's revealed so either let go of the anachronistic view or hide it very, very well.)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment