male CNA fired for "I love YOU"

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:angryfire Ok, here goes,

I am a nursing student who has bee an CNA for 2 years now. I was recently fired for "harrasment" let me explain...

I was the only male CNA in a pediatric rehab hospital, I worked with around 15 to 20 nurses techs and RT's all the time. we got a new DON a few months back and suddenly I started noticing alot of position changes in management and new pollicies that never got followed up on and things like that. as one of the supervisors was leaving her last day she looked at me and said, "you wont last long, you do your job better than the people that have been here for ten years and that pisses alot of peole off. plus you are a guy." I wasent sure if it was just her being bitter or if it was due to actual information she had. I found out this week.

I was called in to discuss my anual eval when my DON says to me, "i've gotten a complaint about you harrassing a nurse."

Really? i said. "yes, apparantly u told her you loved her."

"Yeah, i asked if she could find me another shift and after 4 hours of asking and wondering if she was going to look for me, she said she had found me an extra shift, so I was like THANK YOU THANK YOU!! I LOVE YOU FOR THIS THANKS!!" i really needed the money for my kids birthday party.

So my DON goes on about how people should feel safe around their workplace and they shouldent feel like there trying to compete with me. so she was terminating me due to conduct. (this woman once told me to stop asking the nurses questions because it made them feel stupid when they didn't know the answer, my thoughts are u SHOULDfeel stupid for not knowing why you are pushing that drug or whats wrong with a patient:angryfire )

so now i am looking for a job. I'm sereously considering gettin my EMT-P first and get some time on the box. just for the experence.

dont that just get you right in the orifice!!!

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i've gotten a complaint about you harrassing a nurse."

"you wont last long, you do your job better than the people that have been here for ten years and that pisses alot of peole off. plus you are a guy.

Get a lawyer. Fast.

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Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis.

I wasn't there, so my response is just based on your post...but I think that's bunk. We say that kind of stuff to each other (male/female) a lot on my unit and it's never come to that. But I do know that sexual harassment is subjective, and for good reason. Either she was truly offended by your comment, of was just out looking for a reason to get rid of you. Your situation is sad because we had a true incident of sexual harassment (really bad IMO) that came to nothing. The guy's still working at the hospital, though on a different unit. I'm really sorry that happened to you.

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That's crazy. I've never heard of anyone getting fired for saying "I love you."

Sorry to hear that this has happened to you. :o

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That's crazy. I've never heard of anyone getting fired for saying "I love you."

Sorry to hear that this has happened to you. :o

yeah, but apparantly its ok to here about sexual encounters and how bad threr period is and all the little details of their personal life that I dont really care to hear about. we had one nurse who recently got married and we all got to know how "big" he was. its unfortunate that that stuff dosent really offend me, I just let it go. but Im the one who pays the price when someone is offended.

I was also told that it is my responsibility to report things like that even if they dont offend ME. So, i guess im supposed to be the tattle tale!

I am going to keep a notebook on my next job that will have every concern written in it that I have and who I went to about it. this way if this ever happens again, or ANY issues come up, ill have proof that they never got resolved and who is to blame.

Personally, I think ijust pissed off the wrong people by calling them out on STUPID mistakes that a nurse of 15 years should know better (like pushing zyrtec through a IV line! yes the patient was ok, but still) :uhoh3: :banghead:

dont get me wrong, im not cocky, I never called any one out in front of a patient, or fellow staff, I would simply say something like; "now why did xyz happen and why would we do abc to correct this?" everyone knew i was a nursing student and i was interrested in learning at al times. few people actually took the time to explain things and let me learn. but mostly the universal answer was "we'll have to ask the Dr." Im sorry, but when Im a nurse im not going to put my lisence in the hands of any human being, Dr. or not. they make mistakes too!!

Sorry for venting so loudly, but if I am doing things wrong I need to know about it so it dosent happen again. any thoughts?

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I too know what it's like to be fired for complete bullcrap. Sorry that it has happened to you because you appear to care. You will be better off without them.

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Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
yeah, but apparantly its ok to here about sexual encounters and how bad threr period is and all the little details of their personal life that I dont really care to hear about. we had one nurse who recently got married and we all got to know how "big" he was. its unfortunate that that stuff dosent really offend me, I just let it go. but Im the one who pays the price when someone is offended.

I was also told that it is my responsibility to report things like that even if they dont offend ME. So, i guess im supposed to be the tattle tale!

I am going to keep a notebook on my next job that will have every concern written in it that I have and who I went to about it. this way if this ever happens again, or ANY issues come up, ill have proof that they never got resolved and who is to blame.

Personally, I think ijust pissed off the wrong people by calling them out on STUPID mistakes that a nurse of 15 years should know better (like pushing zyrtec through a IV line! yes the patient was ok, but still) :uhoh3: :banghead:

dont get me wrong, im not cocky, I never called any one out in front of a patient, or fellow staff, I would simply say something like; "now why did xyz happen and why would we do abc to correct this?" everyone knew i was a nursing student and i was interrested in learning at al times. few people actually took the time to explain things and let me learn. but mostly the universal answer was "we'll have to ask the Dr." Im sorry, but when Im a nurse im not going to put my lisence in the hands of any human being, Dr. or not. they make mistakes too!!

Sorry for venting so loudly, but if I am doing things wrong I need to know about it so it dosent happen again. any thoughts?

I feel your pain, but I have some gentle advice in terms of avoiding future conflicts:

If you are telling us that a nurse made a STUPID mistake, it probably shows when you question it, too. I've seen a lot of thinking on these boards, lately, about the need to balance pt advocacy with teamwork. When do you call someone on something, and when do you let it slide? It's not really something that has a textbook answer. Maybe in some really egregious cases, it's black and white, but often there are shades of gray to be considered.

As a nursing student, it's natural to have many questions, and it's natural to feel proud of what you know, but it's important to be moderate in both those feelings. When you ask a nurse why she did something one way, you should have the attitude that you are seeking to learn from her, not that you are questioning her methodology. It may not be the way you learned it in school, and indeed it may be outdated or simply wrong, but it may be an instance where an experienced nurse has to improvise, based on her expertise, for reasons you may not fully appreciate. In other words, if you are already sure you know the answer, don't bother asking. If you know a patient is at risk, say so, but otherwise, discretion is often the better part of valor.

I would also caution strongly about letting your negative experiences at this job color your next one. I work on a pretty happy, upbeat floor where most people get along pretty well. If a new hire was keeping a journal of every little thing that concerned them or differed from policy in any way, he or she would be pretty lonely.

In sum, it has been my life experience that most people tend to live up, or down, to what you expect of them. I'm sorry things went badly for you, and it certainly sounds like you got hosed, but we are rarely totally at the mercy of our environment. "Get along, go along" is often used in a negative way, but the truth is, good interpersonal skills are an important part of functioning on a team.

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Get a lawyer. Fast.

I myself would consider the idea of getting a lawyer. If everything happened exactly as you said, then they were looking for a way to get you out. It sucks, but it seems like they were looking for any type of thing that they could say to get you fired. # 1.. you didn't just say I love you out of nowhere but said Thank you . Thank you. I love you FOR THIS, going on to say that you needed the extra hours for your kids birthday party. I would find it very strange that someone would take that as harassment.

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Specializes in Utilization Management.
I was like THANK YOU THANK YOU!! I LOVE YOU FOR THIS THANKS!!" i really needed the money for my kids birthday party.

So my DON goes on about how people should feel safe around their workplace and they shouldent feel like there trying to compete with me. so she was terminating me due to conduct. (this woman once told me to stop asking the nurses questions because it made them feel stupid when they didn't know the answer, my thoughts are u SHOULDfeel stupid for not knowing why you are pushing that drug or whats wrong with a patient

Incredible! I've had people say the exact same thing to me when I've covered a shift, and there's no way that's sexual harassment. No way.

OTOH, maybe you're better off outta there, since they seem to tolerate some unsafe things. You can find a more supportive environment, I'm sure.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

I just got a handwritten note from a coworker yesterday whom I switched shifts with, I'm working a Saturday for her. The ending was "Thanks so much! I love you!!". Harrassment????? Do I feel unsafe???? Puuleeze.

#1 - I can't believe anyone would complain about something like this

#2 - I can't believe anyone would get fired for something like this

Good luck to you. It's tought and expensive to fight the system. Good luck in whatever you do.

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Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).

This kind of abuse of sexual harrassment is not only unfair to the one wrongfully dismissed; it's an affront to those who are truly victimized, and weakens laws intended to protect them.

It probably would be prudent to get a lawyer, if only to ensure it doesn't follow you. Plus, you could always get reinstated with back pay and court costs, and then quit.

Yesterday a clerk asked me to do something for her, adding, "I'll love you forever."

I told her that an hour would be ample.

It would be a crying shame if we couldn't have fun at work.

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Specializes in I don't have much experiance yet..

I am very sorry this has happened to you. The first thing I would do is speak with a lawyer about my rights as an employee and if any were violated. For example, in the state in which I live, companies do not need a reason to fire someone. They can call you into the office one day and tell you that you are terminated, without giving a reason. However, there is a catch to that. If they do give a reason and the reason is off the wall, then the employee can contact the Labor Board and fight it. I know this doesn't make sense. Companies can fire you for no reason but can not fire you for a stupid reason :bugeyes: . If it was me I would sit down and write out the entire conversation that I had with the nurse making the accusations, as well as, anything else that could possably be used against me. Honestly though, I would be glad I was out of that enviroment. It sounds like the place and it's workers are going down hill ever since the new DON. Good luck with it all!! Hang in there. Something better will come around.

Jen

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