I am a new nurse, I just finished orientation, I am in a situation where I am being heavily watched because I am a rookie in a critical care area, and I am already in luv with my preceptor. I really tried to keep my act together, not say anything and tried to be The Professional Nurse. I really am a firm believer that romance in the work place is BAD NEWS particularly when one is new. So, I kept my thoughts to myself and tried to be impressive. Then one day, this person became very, very cross with me, so I said some things to relieve the tension and-- I don't know what I said actually, but all sorts of things just bubbled out of my mouth in this charged situation, and I said too much. Now this person acts very, very differently towards me. I feel backed in a corner--because I just don't need all that right now! I just don't need daytime soaps at work, I don't need gossip, I don't need to screw up, and I don't need the distraction, and I need to protect my job. But these feeeeeeeeelings. Geez!:
Well we are human and sometimes our emotions get the best of us. Do you think you put your preceptor on a pedastal because you are a new nurse and may be insecure right now? Either way it would probally be best to just make a short apology and make it clear that you are striving to become more professional and you will not be verbalizing anything of that sort to him again. Then focus on your job performance and put it behind you. I am betting that your infatuation dwindle. I am concerned that your embaressment will linger however. That is why I suggest the short apology to clear the air and to settle this matter as quick as possible. Good luck.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
You have learned a harsh lesson. I hope in the future, you can now keep your love life and work life seperate. You now see how uncomfortable and painful mixing them can be. And, it's a potential morale-breaker for your coworkers, too. It can cause real feelings of resentment and discord all around. It just is not prudent.....not that the human heart ever IS!
I wish you well. You sound like a very nice person who got caught up in a tough situation. Take care.
[bYour co-workers will NOT think this is cool (note to self: do not confide in ANY of them, even if you totally trust them). Yes, learned that the hard way.[/b]
I couldn't agree more with meredithT. You REALLY can't trust ANYONE, not even the person you have the affair with, OR the gossip queen who tells you something delicate about him/herself so you think you're safe spilling your beans.
I met my hubby at work. Within 7 mos of the beginning of our affair, we had both left the place. Physicians that I had worked for like a dog as a unit secretary for 5 years and who had promised to write me excellent recommendations for medical school distanced themselves ( it was a catholic hospital).
When I met my hubby, I decided that being with him was more important than anything else. It sounds like you feel that you have too much to lose and you have mixed feelings or else you wouldn't have posted here. You could always ask for another preceptor and *still* pursue a relationship with this person (you would have to work different shifts- that's the policy in most places). Granted there's always the breakup discomfort if you have to work together after a potential breakup... only you can decide what's more important to you and what risks you're willing to take.
Good luck either way but I would still suggest that you switch preceptors because the cat is out of the bag and this chemistry is going to interfere with your learning experience either way.
You mentioned that you are a new nurse. You are also human. It's completely understandable that you would begin to feel some attraction for someone that you are with most of the time. I think it's often the case that when we are one on one with someone at work, we often spend more time and thought with that person than our own significant other (if there is one). Probably why a lot of "cheating" goes on in the workplace. Just like your "orientation" will eventually be over, so will the "honeymoon" stage with your preceptor. You could probably say that you weren't instantly attracted to this person. But after a period of time, an attraction developed due to the amount of time you spend with this person. Nothing wrong with attraction, just remember that you will be more attractive to another individual if you keep your integrity at work.
the issue isn't whether the "feelings" are real or not, but whether the actions are appropriate. Can you ask for transfer to another unit or to another preceptor? Put some distance between you & him till you get settled in. Otherwise, as the "new girl", you might be considered a troublemaker, or immature, or unable to make sound judgements or just someone who made the preceptor feel uncomfortable. NOW is not the appropriate time to act on romantic attachments (real or imagined).
It is a little too late not to be part of the ongoing soap box of hospitals. You are young and new, you will learn to keep your mouth shut about such matters. Just remember they will only talk about you until the next person comes along. Look at it as a life lesson, move on, don't dwell, just continue to learn and be a good nurse, focus on your patients and not your preceptor. Good luck.
Rapheal
814 Posts
Well we are human and sometimes our emotions get the best of us. Do you think you put your preceptor on a pedastal because you are a new nurse and may be insecure right now? Either way it would probally be best to just make a short apology and make it clear that you are striving to become more professional and you will not be verbalizing anything of that sort to him again. Then focus on your job performance and put it behind you. I am betting that your infatuation dwindle. I am concerned that your embaressment will linger however. That is why I suggest the short apology to clear the air and to settle this matter as quick as possible. Good luck.